American and UK Homebirths 

American and UK Homebirths

It is so reassuring to know that, after that cross appears on the pregnancy test all I have to worry about is looking after my little bubba growing in my tummy and think about how I would like to welcome him into the world. When I found out I was pregnant, after the initial shock and first trimester I started joining a few Facebook groups. One of the groups I joined was for mums that are planning a natural or homebirth. After a few weeks, it became clear that most of the members were from the USA and the comments they were posting really started to intrigue me. They fascinated me because, as many of you might know, I LOVE America! I visit as often as our bank balance will allow and even got married there back in 2008. One of the things that draws me to the USA are the people and its modern, western culture. My brother lived in America for nearly ten years so I am vaguely aware of how their health insurance works and I always thought it was quite a good idea, especially given that our NHS hospitals sometimes leave a bit to be desired and in general American hospital are more like hotels. How wrong was I!? During every pregnancy, including my first with twins, the routine is fairly simple. I book an appointment with GP (free) who then asks me which hospital I would like to have the baby in – that’s right, I am given the choice. Then I meet with a midwife who ‘books’ my pregnancy in. My scans are arranged and follow up appointments booked. At some point during these appointments I will be asked about my birth plan. Apart from the twins I have always opted for a homebirth. When I asked my GP about my first homebirth  with Charlie she was so pleased for me and even encouraged me. She explained that given the straightforward birth I had with the twins, the fact that I was well and lived fairly close to my nearest hospital she thought it was a great idea! Even though she had given me such reassurance I still asked my midwife at my next appointment what her opinion was. She was a lovely lady from Africa who laughed at me and told me : ‘where I am from, you go to hospital if you are sick, you are not sick when you are pregnant, you are creating what your body is meant to do, it is not an illness.  Where I grew up we called the elder from the village who had birthed lots of babies  and delivered many more and she is your midwife.  I think giving birth at home makes more sense to me than going into hospital’ That was it, my mind was made up, what she had said made perfect sense to me. My pregnancy continued to be monitored and thankfully I stayed a low-risk until delivery. I was appointed a wonderful homebirth team who came to my home for all my appointments, met my family and talked me through everything, working side by side with the hospital. With the help of my fantastic midwives, Charlie was born calmly and safely at home. Straight after the birth Mikey and Harri were cuddling their newborn brother, ticked up on bed with mummy and daddy. My experience was so perfect I opted for another homebirth with Libby. Luckily, another straightforward pregnancy where all I needed to worry about was getting my home ready for labour and our new addition. Georges birth is where the hic-cup began, all was planned for a homebirth but unfortunately, as luck would have it, the homebirth midwife was ill and it ment, at the last-minute I had to go into hospital. But, thanks to our health system, that was not a problem. A midwife greeted me, showed me to the birthing suit (like home from home) and I delivered George in water half an hour after arriving at the hospital. With this pregnancy, I have been advised a homebirth may not be a good idea.  Due to this being my fifth pregnancy (sixth baby) I am at high risk of haemorrhaging after delivery. My consultant explained the risks and told me she would rather me be in hospital for the delivery, but of course If I wanted another homebirth she would support me, as long as I am aware of the possible risks. If I’m honest, after my last birth, I am quite happy going into hospital, but my point is, I have a choice. You might be wondering why I am going over all my birth stories again which I have already talked about in previous posts. After listening to some of the comments on the Facebook page from the American mums I couldn’t believe what I was reading! Here are some of the things I learned after writing a post asking them to explain to me their Homebirth system: -In some states in America Homebirth is illegal? -If you live in a state where homebirth is not illegal the chances are Midwives attending your homebirth is illegal. Therefore, the only option for a homebirth is to have an unassisted birth! -One mum to be from Louisiana told me that it is illegal for Birthing Centres in her State to allow you to attempt a natural birth if you are pregnant with multiples. -I understand, from what the ladies were explaining to me, childbirth in hospital is covered under you insurance.  Homebirth, however is not covered and costs the parents to be anywhere upwards of $3,000-$8,500 . -Some mums choose to cross state lines and book a hotel room just so they can have a hospital free birth in a State that will allow it. -Home midwives are not given the same training as a hospital midwife therefore are not allowed to attend you as your hospital midwife. -The ladies from the States explained that it is common place in the US for the hospital and doctors to treat labour as an emergency procedure and therefore give mothers very little input on their birth. This is one of the reasons Doulas are popular, to help be ‘your voice’ during labour. It also seems quite normal in the USA for the doctors to pull the placenta out after the baby has been delivered. When I read this comment my jaw dropped! I could only summarize, from the 120+ comments I received when I asked about the homebirth situation in the States, that it varies hugely depending on which State you are in. There were a few mums who told me they had managed to organise a homebirth fairly easily. However, one theme was common, if you are lucky enough to live in a State that makes homebirth accessible, be prepared to pay through the nose for it. I was generally shocked that a country I put on such a pedestal and have always thought of as forward thinking can be so narrow minded when it comes to childbirth. This is not the parents attitude, but the healthcare professionals that feel homebirth is entirely unsafe to the point of negligent. A few opinions I was given, for the reason homebirth is frowned upon by doctors is that hospitals make such a huge amount of money through childbirth they are trying to keep it solely under their roof. I can’t comment on this without any true depth of knowledge on the subject. I think it is safe to say, no matter what your opinion on our National Health Service, when it comes to pregnancy and child birth we are so lucky!! There are always going to be negative stories, but to have this service and its highly qualified midwives who are massivly over worked and underpaid (like most of the nurses on the NHS) we should be so proud. I will never take for granted how easy it is to have the birth I want, receiving huge support from the professional people you need it from the most and without it costing me a penny. I really hope our friends over the pond follow in our footsteps and make things easier for women to have the birth they want.   After all,  empowerment and control is a huge part of having a good birthing experience. I would love to hear your experiences on homebirths. Xxxxxx Sharing is caring guys,  please like and share my post through your social media 😘

Alexander House, Sussex, Afternoon Tea

Alexander House, Sussex, Afternoon Tea

When you have children, especially a five – a-side team, if someone asks me if I want an afternoon out I have my lippy and heels on and I’m out the door before the kids can say bye! So when my sister in-law suggested afternoon tea It was welcomed with enthusiasm. Being 32 weeks pregnant I didn’t really fancy going up town and negotiating trains and tubes so when Sarah suggested Alexandra House Utopia and Spa, a highly-recommended, five star hotel that is within a thirty minute drive from where I live…perfect! It was my mother-in-law’s birthday treat and we decided to bring Libby (my six year old) for her first girly afternoon tea too. She brought a tear to my eye as she came in,  dressed to the nines in her favourite sparkly dress.  Then sat with me while I did my make up and she put a little blusher and lippy on. I have heard lots of things about Alexandra house, friends have had spa days, stayed in the hotel and had diner and the feedback is always great, so I was really looking forward to see if it lived up to the hype…..It most certainly did. Firstly, let’s talk about the setting.  It stands in a beautiful 120 acres between East Grinstead and Crawley. The Property is approached via a long driveway through the beautiful grounds, leading to a Modern yet tastefully designed building.  Set just behind that is the breath-taking, manor house, Alexandra House (jeez, I went back into my old estate agent mode then!) The interior is just as beautiful as the exterior.  Everything inside is decorated impeccably and absolutely spotless. A lovely concierge greets you on arrival and shows you to the reception where you are taken through to the Afternoon Tea Lounge. We were seated at a lovely table that overlooked the beautifully manicured gardens.  It really was as tranquil as it sounds. After we were seated we were asked if we would like a glass of champagne.  The waiter looked at my baby bump and offered me half a glass…..HALF A GLASS!? 😕 I thought this was a very sweet offer but I declined the half glass and asked for a full glass!  (I almost asked for the bottle!) This was met by amusement as the waiter tried to dig himself out of the hole by telling me his wife would have said the same thing but he thought he better ask! He dealt with my directness very well and we all had a giggle. We were then directed to the menu which included different teas from a small tea company called Metrodeco based in Brighton. I opted for Terracotta Sunburst (Rhubarb and Vanilla) flavour while Sarah and my mother in law choses Rockafella Cleansing and Metrodeco Classic. Meanwhile, Libby, who honestly found the whole experience quite overwhelming, ordered a hot chocolate. Even though she is the only girl is a house full of boys, she isn’t really used to being the centre of attention. She plays the ‘only girl’ role perfectly at home, but, when she is really treated like the princess she is, she finds it a little uncomfortable. When we asked if she was ok, she just said sweetly that she missed her brothers. Having said that, once her afternoon tea food stand was brought out she soon came out of her shell! Enjoying her children’s afternoon tea which included jam, cheese and ham sandwiches, scones, ice cream, Chocolate brownie and a cookie. Our food was lovely, finger sandwiches, potted salmon on toast and little pizza.  The cakes included a banoffee, lemon meringue, pineapple pannacotte and a profiterole. All absolutely delicious and combined with a couple of scones each I left feeling completely stuffed! The tea was delicious and the atmosphere was classy, relaxed and very child friendly. I had such a special day,  made even better spending time with my gorgeous daughter A perfect treat with mothers day coming up 😉 I cant wait to go back with Mike and the boys. We had a little nose around after our tea and I can say with certainty…. watch out for my next review on the hotel and spa, it looks absolutely lush! If you have enjoyed my review please follow me and share the love 😘

Baby One vs Baby Five

Baby One vs Baby Five

​ I’ve been thinking about how much I have changed from the first time mum of twins I was ten years ago to the mum of nearly six now.
This list worried me a bit,  and before you contemplate calling social services after reading this, George is the happiest baby I have ever known!

You tend to do so much different the second, third, fourth,  fifth and sixth time round 😱 Baby One : I started looking at buggies and cots when I was about 10 weeks pregnant.

Baby five: I dragged the dusty cot out of the loft on my due date. Buggy? I don’t have time for a buggy, I just strap baby to me and go!

_________________ Baby One: Book pregnancy massage at 30 weeks to relax.
Baby Five : Radox relaxing bubble bath while one child is talking to me whilst taking a dump on the loo and another throwing toys at my head. ___________________ Baby one : ‘oh wow, congratulations,  that is such wonderful news ‘ Baby Five: ‘ANOTHER ONE!?  you need to stop now!  Send him for the snip! _______________________ Baby One : Panic and Google everything about childbirth, gather as many stories as possible and hope your hospital stay is minimal. Baby Five : Not to worried about the pain,  more concerned how I will muster the energy to actually push the baby out. After two homebirths,  considering a hospital birth to blag a couple of peaceful days with my feet up being waited on.

_____________________ Baby One: Sterilise the sh*t out of everything, dummies,  bottles,  hubby’s hands…. Baby Five : Put the dummy in my mouth to clean it!  (come on,  I just watched the dog lick the babies hands and my five year old put her fingers in his mouth!)

_____________________ Baby One : Keep everyone away for a couple of days after the birth to recover,  when they do come,  hostess and act like the perfect, coping mum Baby Five : Invite as many people as possible over as soon as baby is born and go straight to bed to ensure you can buy enough ‘visitor baby hugs’ time to get a good couple of hours sleep. _____________________ Baby One : Boil wash every item of clothing prior to baby wearing it and clean bedclothes daily.

Baby Five : Wash at 30 degrees with the other kids clothes and only wash bed clothes when baby has been sick! Otherwise it falls in the general house rules of one wash a week! ______________________ Baby One : Buy every lotion, potion and gimic you can afford. Baby Five : Olive oil for cradle cap, lavender oil in the bath rather than the £10 bottle of lavender scented baby bath cream. Oh, and FYI, Calpol is exactly the same as the own brand baby paracetamol but triple the price. _____________________ Baby One : Two weeks post birth spent in hibernation. Baby Five : School run six hours later.

___________________ Baby One: Panic over the ‘ right ‘ time to start your baby on solids. Baby Five: Disregard the professionals and as soon as baby isn’t getting satisfied by milk the porridge comes out.

______________________ Baby One : Toddler groups three mornings a week. Baby Five: Organising coffee mornings around what coffee shop has  the best ‘kids area ‘

______________________ Baby One : Never take the babies to McDonald’s! They will only eat healthy, organic food including their 5-a-day until they are 9! Baby Five : Tried McDonald’s by nine months and even substituted the fruit for an apple strudel. ______________________ Baby One : 6.30pm bedtime,  no excuses. Boom!

Baby Five : It’s 8pm and the baby is watching Fresh Prince with the older kids. If the house is quiet why rock the boat?

____________________ Baby One : Plan toilet training like it is a military operation. Baby Five : Forget to put a nappy on the baby and realise after two days he has been using the potty in the corner. ______________________ Baby One : At one month old, researching primary schools, high schools and universities so that my angels can become the next prime minister, doctor or lawyer.

Baby Five : Now looking at high schools for real for the older kids. Primary school is already planned under the sibling rule and ive actually realised,  as long as they are happy and have good support, who cares what they are when they are older.

_______________________ Baby One : Baby gates everywhere! Can’t possibly risk baby falling down the stairs. Baby Five : Teach baby how to climb down stairs safely before he can even walk. ________________________ Baby One : Worry at 2pm that baby hasn’t had lunch and stop everything to make sure they have a suitable meal. Baby Five : At 2pm wonder if the two ginger biscuits and a mouthful of mud he had at the park is ok to pass for lunch.

______________________ Baby One : Perfect changing bag packed and full of baby necessities at all times. Baby Five : Two nappies in one pocket and baby wipes and a dummy in the other and off we go! _________________________ Baby One : If the baby starts creating in a restaurant,  stick by your guns,  ride the tantrum out and beam with pride when you win and other diners are patting you on the back.

Baby Five : Baby creates in a restaurant and you pass them the lemon from your g&t, a left over rib, order a chocole brownie or do just about anything they want just to shut them up…..then roll your eyes at the disapproving diners! 😂

Burning my bra! 

Burning my bra! 

I always try to keep my blog posts light hearted but as I am lucky enough to have this platform I am going to use it to rant today. This isn’t to lecture or cause controversy.   This is just me,  unleashing my anger that has consumed me for the past 24 hours. I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends in that time to unleash my rage on so I’m afraid you, as my friends and blog viewers are going to get it full blast. Yesterday a post popped up on my newsfeed, it said ; ‘PETITION….1.6 million people signed to stop a man coming into the country, how many will sign to save the most innocent and defenseless in our society…’ It was a petition to withdraw Abortion from NHS funding. Now I’m not a hardcore feminist, I have always believed in equal rights, but im not someone who gets offended by a builder Wolf whistling or a fella saying ‘ cheers love ‘ and I like a man to open the door for me and offering to buy me a drink. But….this post has turned me into a full blown, bra burning women’s right advocate. Everyone is entitled to their opinion,  that is what is amazing about living in a free, democratic society,  but when an opinion or view is imposed on me,  or more importantly my children and future generations every part of my maternal protection kicks in. This petition has been started by a man and encouraged by men it appears. Of the 320 comments that followed this post to date, every pro life comment was from a man. Pro-life – I have a bit of an issue with this term.  I am pro life,  I’m certainly not anti-life.  I certainly am pro choice, not anti-choice which I think is a more appropriate term. I think Pro-life is a term someone gave to give the argument more moral weight. Some of the comments included : _________ ‘The NHS is taxpayer funded which means that as a taxpayer I am required to fund abortions. I believe abortion is murder and while I understand using that word is evocative that is my belief. There are many others who share my views so it seems unreasonable to expect us to fund what we believe to be murder” “1) around 1% of abortion cases involve rape but even then does having a rapist as a parent invalidate someone’s life 2) for 1% of cases our Public Health Service should allow the 99% deaths” “this is muder i think every one should sign this god bless all the litte on born babys pray for the mothers murdering ther  babys an the pepol that help do it god bless jesus loves you all” ___________ These are just a few of the tamer views that were shared by pro life people on this post. I found my blood boiling to the point of obsession and disgust. Being anti abortion I completly understand,  especially if you are a man who can not relate to the reasoning behind a termination. But to impose you belief on me?  On my daughter?  On my sister?  On my friend?  Go f#ck yourself! It is a debate that has been going on for years. It has also made me think about mens views on it. Are they entitled to an opinion? of corse. If a consenting couple find themselves pregnant, should the father have a say over the life of his unborn child?…..absolutely. But,  unfortunately guys we do have the final say. This isn’t about sexism but simple biology,  we carry the baby for nine months,  we sacrifice our body and mind and we alone go through child birth. We can not walk away a few weeks into it because it’s too much for us to handle. We look after the baby for the rest of their life, so really,  who should have the final say?! Another point I have found myself thinking about for the first time is, what would happen if the NHS did stop funding abortions. Desperate girls and women Googling ‘ how to perform home abortions?’ Throwing us back to the 30’s and 40’s where women downed a bottle of gin and sat in a boiling hot bath?  or worse! Jesus, it doesn’t bare thinking about.   Babies abandoned at hospital steps,  care homes over flowing, burdening a child welfare system that is at breaking point already? Babies with severe disabilities or deformities being born to mothers that can not cope. Women traumatised by rape, being forced to birth the baby of their rapist.  Then having to decide if they can live with a baby that they may resent. Or give It up and have further torture wondering if they ever did the right thing. Or a girl who simply enjoys sex but who’s contraceptive failed….. How dare she have enjoyed herself without out weighing up whether, if the protection doesn’t work, could she cope with a baby.  After all,  that is why she used it in the first place! I’m sure the fella was thinking the same thing while he was getting ready to have his fun! I also find a man’s view on a termination interesting.  A comment that kept coming up was a women using it as a form of contraceptive.  how ridiculous! Their is a difference between a women making the mistake more than once and ‘ using it as contraception’ As if a termination is as simple as taking the morning after pill. Do any of these men understand what it is to go through a termination!? The turmoil most women find themselves in is indescribable. A procedure which either way causes physical discomfort and pain not to mention the mental effect. Honestly guys, no one thinks,  don’t worry, I’ll just have an abortion! I commented a few times on this post. I liken it to banging my head against a brick wall. Surprisingly,  only one man tried to defend his opinion.   Albeit a poor defence! He said that he believes in nurturing all children and babies. I call…..bullshit!!! I had to point out,  he is far from nuturing the young 14 year old girl who’s experimenting found herself pregnant and at risk of ruining the rest of her life. These men!  Honestly! I dispair I refer to men because not one women defended the petition. As I read through the posts comments that kept pinging up, it was like watching an argument between me and one of my kids. I could picture in my mind a grown man,  frowning with his arms crossed and stomping his feet. ‘but I just don’t like it,  it’s wrong,  it’s murder, you are evil ‘ And when a proper debate starts they dissappear or throw their toys out of their pram. ‘ you’re just being mean to me because I don’t agree with you…..’ boo hoo’ 1- I’m being mean?  trust me,  I’m holding myself together with all that is in me. 2- you put your opinion out their,  shoving it down my throat,  so have a bit back. Totally narrow minded,  self righteous men,  who, after spouting about how women shouldn’t be allowed terminations, even though their well be thousands more unwantes babies in the world, probably role their eyes at me when I walk in the supermarket with six kids in tow…… Twats!!! I must add,  there are also a huge amount of men supporting women.  I found that equally as encouraging. I feel like, for the first time in my life,  my right as a women is being questioned. Now as a mum to a little girl,  this struck a cord even more. Finding myself slightly obsessed with this post I naturally found myself stalking the Facebook pages of some of the worst culprits. It made me sad to see many were very religious,  one even a pastor. I grew up a Christian and still have my beliefs. Unfortunately, I do also feel this highlights the church’s hypocrisy on some subjects. Wow, I feel so much better now.   Thanks for listening,  sorry if I have provoked anger (maybe even towards me) But, if my daughter comes to me one day in a position she never thought she would find herself in, dispite all my ‘ safe sex ‘ talks,  I know Mike and I would put our arms round her,  explain ALL her options and support her no matter what she decides. I’m not going to actively promote this post due to its controversy. However,  if you feel it is important to you or has struck a cord, please like and share away. Peace out ✌

How was your school run this morning? 

How was your school run this morning? 

​This was my car journey this morning Mikey: Charlie, when you get into year five you learne about sex, it’s really gross. Charlie: yea I don’t want to learne about it,it might make me sick! Harri: why are you talking about sex, don’t say the word,  I hate the word, urgh Mum: ha ha  sex, sex, sex, sex Harri: shut up mum it makes me feel like I might throw up! Mum: it won’t when you are older Harri: urgh,  yes it will! Mikey: Mum,  what do you think sex is? Mum:  I know exactly what sex is darling Harri: of course she does,  her and dad are masters at it…… Discusting! Charlie: Mum you have had sex 6 times! Mikey: yea I’m only having 2 babies Harri: I’m only having one! Mikey: Mum if me and harri shared a stomach what would happen when we are older and one of us needs to do the discusting thing? Mum: you mean like conjoined twins? Mikey: Yea Mum: one of you would have to shut your eyes I suppose Harri:  (giggles) rank! Libby:  Mum, can we get chocolate after school? I want them to stay this age forever!!!  😂😂😂

Our new Pigs 

Our New Pigs

​This weekend we brought nine beautiful oinkers home to the farm. It’s always fun when we have new animals arrive at the farm. Most of the fun is watching mike attempt to heard them to where they are suppose to be.  Mind you,  he is much more ‘adam Henson’ about it now. He used to have the mindset of crocodile Dundee but the capability and knowledge of laurel and Hardy. Being a fairly new smallholder we have been ‘ winging it ‘ since we arrived here. But the more animals we have,  the easier it seems to be. Our first pigs we got back in 2013 escaped on their first night,  we were all running around trying to catch them, like something out of a very on movie.

e even recruited the builders to help, one of whom ended up face down in a puddle of mud!  Ah the memories 😂 This time though it was all pretty straight forward,  now we are old hats at this!  🤔 So we have nine lovely kune kune pigs,  varying in ages. Not the most attractive of breeds but full of character and unusually tame on arrival.

Libby may disagree,  she was convinced mummy pig was going to charge at her and was escorted back to the car by her big brother. Mikey, harri and Charlie on the other hand for stuck straight in. Helping create barriers to get them into their stables and shooing them in the right direction. All this while Mikey serenaded us with his own version of baby got back ‘ he’s got big balls and you can not lie,  you other brothers can’t deny, when the pig arrives with his giant nuts and shoves them in your face….. ‘ Come on,  We were all ten once,  big animal balls are still funny at 34!! So one of the questions I keep getting asked is, will we eat them. It’s an answer I’m nervous of putting out there as it is so controversial but yes…. Eventually we will. Now, unless you are a vegetarian or vegan your argument against us doing that is lost on me. If you eat meat,  you have eaten a slaughtered animal. The packaging it comes in is irrelevant, it had been alive and it was killed…    For your consumption. The only difference is, I can tell you, when I am tucking into my pork belly, is that the animal had a good life. He ate well, he ate organic food, he lived in fresh air and had clean beds and fresh water. When it comes to the end I know it is done quickly and humainly with absolutly no suffering. Can you tell me the same??? So to my friends who scowl at me when they hear we are eating our animals eventually,  the only thing that pops in my head is…   Hypocrite! Usually the same friend that is tucking into my pork belly and telling me how nice it is one month later!

The children are not always happy about it at first,  it is hard to come to terms with the fact that the animal you have been looking after will no longer be with you and instead in the freezer.

However, they also understand that if they enjoy meat It is far better to know it has been nurtured by them that stuck in a tiny pen and overfed until they can’t stand up. I’m not a meat snob,  and I’m not preaching, I buy meat from the supermarket.  I’m just making my point about home reared food.

We also make it clear when an animal arrives, what its destany is…  whether it is a pet chicken who will only be for eggs, a dog that will stay with us forever, geese that will be for security and a cow that will be for the table. So if you want to try some really special meat, with a taste that doesn’t compare….. Give me a shout 😋

Tips to help your labour

Tips to help your labour

​Before you read this, please remember,  I have been lucky enough to have straight forward births. I don’t want to come across ‘preachy’   This is what works for me and I wish, when I was pregnant with the twins,  someone had told me a good birth story rather than all the ‘Labour is the worst thing ever tales’ ‘ don’t envy you ‘ ‘ just take a much pain relief as you can ‘ It goes without saying if you need pain relief, take it, don’t be a martyr. But equally there are ways of coping without it that no one tells you about. Two tips I wish someone had told me are these …. Firstly, usually,  when the pain gets bad,  so bad you don’t think you can carry on,  you will be nearly ready to push…. You are moments away from meeting your baby so don’t panic,  you are nearly there! And two…. Never, let anyone force you to stay in a laying down position unless medically necessary. I was basically strapped to the hospital bed with the twins as I was classed as ‘ high risk ‘ and because they were my first babies I did exactly what I was told!  Ten years later, I don’t think they encourage laying down as much anymore. It is an unnatural position to birth in (imagine trying to poo standing on your head). It will make the contractions more painful (alot more painful!) and the labour last longer. Follow your bodies Instinct, walk around,  dance,  rock, bend over but try to avoid laying down. I think this is why I was determined to take control of my next birth and opted to have it at home. I ended up giving birth to Charlie on my hands and knees because it just felt right at the time. I have a few rituals to get me through labour and make it as easy as possible. Everyone who knows me will know I’m not exactly a hippie but when it comes to labour I have a very free spirit attitude. Your baby has to come out one way or another so try to stay positive,  as scary as it is, and as daunting as it can be, try to embrace it. Maybe try some of these….. Bath – A hot (but not too hot)  bath is great during labour.   I tend to run a bath for every ailment I have,  whether its a cold, period pains,  stress, back ache or a headache. Add a few drops of your essential oils, concentrate on your breathing and prepare for what’s coming. Raspberry Leaf Tea – I love this!!!  Well…. I think I love it!  I can drink it all day, everyday towards the end of my pregnancies, but once I am baby free, it gets chucked to the back of my cupboard never to been seen again….. Until the next pregnancy. I wonder if it is a mental thing? Something I associate with the end of a pregnancy perhaps? Soothing? Anyway… It’s purpose is to strengthen and tone the muscles around your uterus and help with a steady,  progressive labour. I have drank it in every pregnancy from about 32 weeks. Because I have drank it everytime I couldn’t tell you if it has helped towards quick labours or not, but I have always been blessed with shorter labours and very quick transition stages. I dilate from 4-5 cm to 10cm and start pushing in under half an hour. Maybe the raspberry leaf tea contributes to this,  maybe it doesn’t but give it a go anyway! You can buy it online or from Holland and Barrett. Make sure you start drinking it early (but not before 32 weeks). Clary sage oil I love essential oils and find them really helpful throughout pregnancy. Clary Sage helps with pain and stress relief and smells gorgeous. During the early stages of labour I put a few drops into my bath and soak for a while. I also put a couple of drops onto a wet flannel to use as the contractions get stronger. I know some women add a couple of drops to a carrier oil and let there partner massage them with it. This would never work for me because if Mike tried to massage me during labour I would be likely to smash him in the face! I sometimes I add a couple of drops of frankincense too, it is a calming essential oil and I find it works great with clary sage for me. It is important to know that you should not use Clary Sage during your pregnancy as it can bring on contractions. Tens machine– Tens machines seem to be like marmite, some girls love it and some hate it. It is honestly a huge part of my pain relief during labour. I can’t tell you that it completely takes the pain away but it certainly dulls it and gives me something to focus on. It works by placing some sticky pads to your back which are attached to a small hand held machine by long wires. Small electrical pulses are sent through the machine to the patches and block the feeling of pain going to your brain.  It also helps stimulate natural endorphins (pain relief) in your body. You feel a vibrating sensation on your back and you can control how strong the electrical pulse is through your machine. When your contractions first start you strap it on and just need to use a low pulse. Then,  as your labour and contractions progress you will push for higher and higher pulses. Once it feels like it isn’t helping that’s when I jump in the birthing pool and am usually not far from pushing. Birthing ball– Not only are birthing balls great to help back pain during pregnancy it is great for labour. During the early – middle of labour I sit on it and rock gently backwards and forwards,  rotating my hips, it really helps with pain and labour ‘fidgets’ i can’t sit still! Good movie / box set – There is no point racing to the hospital as soon as your first Contraction is felt.   Quite often it can be false labour but even if it is the real thing it can take quite a while. I find it much better for pain relief and comfort to spend as much of my labour at home as possible. Once I know it’s the real thing I put on a good movie and try to relax. During Charlies labour I watched Date Night, during Libbys I put on The Sweetest Thing and with George I was watching Louis Theroux documentries! Candles – All girls love candles,  I don’t really need to say more.   It’s about creating a calming atmosphere.  Dim lights, flickering candles all helps with calming and clearing your mind. Again,  you could add some oils to an oil burner  to perfume the air with some clary sage,  lavender,  ginger or frankincense. Music – Having music on in the background as delivery time approaches can be uplifting, encouraging and inspiring. Birthing Pool – During my first two labours I point blank refused to use a birthing pool.   The thought of sitting in a pool of your own blood and bodily fluids totally grossed me out. I only used one with Libby out of pure curiosity. I had done the hospital birth, I had done the homebirth so now I wanted to try out a waterbirth! I bought an Ecopool online,  the whole lot was about £110 and it was so easy to use. I would always insist on a waterbirth now,  the difference in pain at transition (pushing)  is massive. There is also something really special about holding your baby for the first time in a relaxing pool of warm water (plus it cleans them… Bonus!) It also allowed me to be in a position with Libby and George where I felt more in control of delivering them, reaching down when they come out and pulling them to you rather than baby being handed to you by your midwife. It is really important for me to say, after telling you all this, do what is right for you.   If you need a c-section for whatever reason or you have an epidural then that’s the way for you,  if I can’t handle things with my next birth I will have no problem calling for an epidural! The main thing is for baby to come into the world as stress free and healthy as possible and for mum to be the same. Do you have any tips for pain/stress relief during labour? Now I’ve wrote this all down let’s hope that baby number six, due in April, comes as smoothly as possible. Wish me luck xxx