Burning my bra! 

Burning my bra! 

I always try to keep my blog posts light hearted but as I am lucky enough to have this platform I am going to use it to rant today. This isn’t to lecture or cause controversy.   This is just me,  unleashing my anger that has consumed me for the past 24 hours. I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends in that time to unleash my rage on so I’m afraid you, as my friends and blog viewers are going to get it full blast. Yesterday a post popped up on my newsfeed, it said ; ‘PETITION….1.6 million people signed to stop a man coming into the country, how many will sign to save the most innocent and defenseless in our society…’ It was a petition to withdraw Abortion from NHS funding. Now I’m not a hardcore feminist, I have always believed in equal rights, but im not someone who gets offended by a builder Wolf whistling or a fella saying ‘ cheers love ‘ and I like a man to open the door for me and offering to buy me a drink. But….this post has turned me into a full blown, bra burning women’s right advocate.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion,  that is what is amazing about living in a free, democratic society,  but when an opinion or view is imposed on me,  or more importantly my children and future generations every part of my maternal protection kicks in. This petition has been started by a man and encouraged by men it appears. Of the 320 comments that followed this post to date, every pro life comment was from a man. Pro-life – I have a bit of an issue with this term.  I am pro life,  I’m certainly not anti-life.  I certainly am pro choice, not anti-choice which I think is a more appropriate term.  I think Pro-life is a term someone gave to give the argument more moral weight. Some of the comments included : _________ ‘The NHS is taxpayer funded which means that as a taxpayer I am required to fund abortions. I believe abortion is murder and while I understand using that word is evocative that is my belief. There are many others who share my views so it seems unreasonable to expect us to fund what we believe to be murder” “1) around 1% of abortion cases involve rape but even then does having a rapist as a parent invalidate someone’s life 2) for 1% of cases our Public Health Service should allow the 99% deaths” “this is muder i think every one should sign this god bless all the litte on born babys pray for the mothers murdering ther  babys an the pepol that help do it god bless jesus loves you all” ___________ These are just a few of the tamer views that were shared by pro life people on this post. I found my blood boiling to the point of obsession and disgust. Being anti abortion I completly understand,  especially if you are a man who can not relate to the reasoning behind a termination. But to impose you belief on me?  On my daughter?  On my sister?  On my friend?  Go f#ck yourself! It is a debate that has been going on for years. It has also made me think about mens views on it. Are they entitled to an opinion? of corse. If a consenting couple find themselves pregnant, should the father have a say over the life of his unborn child?…..absolutely. But,  unfortunately guys we do have the final say. This isn’t about sexism but simple biology,  we carry the baby for nine months,  we sacrifice our body and mind and we alone go through child birth. We can not walk away a few weeks into it because it’s too much for us to handle. We look after the baby for the rest of their life, so really,  who should have the final say?! Another point I have found myself thinking about for the first time is, what would happen if the NHS did stop funding abortions. Desperate girls and women Googling ‘ how to perform home abortions?’ Throwing us back to the 30’s and 40’s where women downed a bottle of gin and sat in a boiling hot bath?  or worse! Jesus, it doesn’t bare thinking about.   Babies abandoned at hospital steps,  care homes over flowing, burdening a child welfare system that is at breaking point already? Babies with severe disabilities or deformities being born to mothers that can not cope. Women traumatised by rape, being forced to birth the baby of their rapist.  Then having to decide if they can live with a baby that they may resent. Or give It up and have further torture wondering if they ever did the right thing. Or a girl who simply enjoys sex but who’s contraceptive failed….. How dare she have enjoyed herself without out weighing up whether, if the protection doesn’t work, could she cope with a baby.  After all,  that is why she used it in the first place! I’m sure the fella was thinking the same thing while he was getting ready to have his fun! I also find a man’s view on a termination interesting.  A comment that kept coming up was a women using it as a form of contraceptive.  how ridiculous! Their is a difference between a women making the mistake more than once and ‘ using it as contraception’ As if a termination is as simple as taking the morning after pill. Do any of these men understand what it is to go through a termination!? The turmoil most women find themselves in is indescribable. A procedure which either way causes physical discomfort and pain not to mention the mental effect. Honestly guys, no one thinks,  don’t worry, I’ll just have an abortion! I commented a few times on this post.  I liken it to banging my head against a brick wall. Surprisingly,  only one man tried to defend his opinion.   Albeit a poor defence! He said that he believes in nurturing all children and babies. I call…..bullshit!!! I had to point out,  he is far from nuturing the young 14 year old girl who’s experimenting found herself pregnant and at risk of ruining the rest of her life. These men!  Honestly! I dispair I refer to men because not one women defended the petition. As I read through the posts comments that kept pinging up, it was like watching an argument between me and one of my kids. I could picture in my mind a grown man,  frowning with his arms crossed and stomping his feet. ‘but I just don’t like it,  it’s wrong,  it’s murder, you are evil ‘ And when a proper debate starts they dissappear or throw their toys out of their pram. ‘ you’re just being mean to me because I don’t agree with you…..’ boo hoo’ 1- I’m being mean?  trust me,  I’m holding myself together with all that is in me. 2- you put your opinion out their,  shoving it down my throat,  so have a bit back. Totally narrow minded,  self righteous men,  who, after spouting about how women shouldn’t be allowed terminations, even though their well be thousands more unwantes babies in the world, probably role their eyes at me when I walk in the supermarket with six kids in tow…… Twats!!! I must add,  there are also a huge amount of men supporting women.  I found that equally as encouraging. I feel like, for the first time in my life,  my right as a women is being questioned. Now as a mum to a little girl,  this struck a cord even more. Finding myself slightly obsessed with this post I naturally found myself stalking the Facebook pages of some of the worst culprits. It made me sad to see many were very religious,  one even a pastor. I grew up a Christian and still have my beliefs. Unfortunately, I do also feel this highlights the church’s hypocrisy on some subjects. Wow, I feel so much better now.   Thanks for listening,  sorry if I have provoked anger (maybe even towards me) But, if my daughter comes to me one day in a position she never thought she would find herself in, dispite all my ‘ safe sex ‘ talks,  I know Mike and I would put our arms round her,  explain ALL her options and support her no matter what she decides. I’m not going to actively promote this post due to its controversy. However,  if you feel it is important to you or has struck a cord, please like and share away. Peace out ✌

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

A few mums,  particularly first time mums,  have asked me to do a blog on what you actually need when you go into labour. I am going to start packing my hospital bag/homebirth box this week (I am 34 weeks pregnant) although you can get it ready whenever it suits you. Bear in mind, women are classed full term at 37 weeks and it certainly isn’t unusual for babies to come early so don’t leave it to late to get your stuff ready. I have broken it down a bit, this is just my personal list. 

For a hospital bagPregnancy Notes– Midwives and doctors will not be impressed of you turn up without them and the chances are your birthing partner will be sent back home to pick them up. 

Tens Machine – everyone knows about my love for a tens machine, I am lucky enough that a tens machine helps me from early labour to transition with bearable pain. Your tens will probably be strapped to you before you even leave for hospital (it is more effective the earlier you use it) but pop it in your hospital bag so you know where it is when you need it. 

Loose tracksuit – or trousers and a t shirt to travel home in, something that is not to tight (your tummy is still tender after baby is born). 

Knickers – pack a few pairs of maternity Knickers or a size bigger than you usually wear. Contrary to what posh spice would have you believe, you still have a   ‘Baby bump’ for a little while after birth.

Lipsalve or Vaseline – labour is hardwork and with all the panting you do or gas and air, your lips can dry out quickly. 

Hair bands – When I’m sweating and mean business I can not tolerate my hair sweaping in front of my face. 

Make up– look, everyone will tell you you don’t care about how you look when you are in labour and I would completly agree. However,  if you are staying in hospital for a day or so and are expecting visitors you might want to pop a bit of blusher and mascara on. Honestly,  my last few births I couldn’t care less, but I have been at home and able to hide upstairs from guests if I want to. When I had the twins (my first)  the next morning I couldn’t wait to have a wash and put some slap on. Yep that’s right,  I wanted to give the impression of totally nailing this baby lark. If I could give myself some advice I would say, why did you bother!?  no visitors even noticed you. They were too busy cooing over the new babies,  but it made me feel better and if it makes you feel better, pack it!

Wine gums – My midwives have always told me to have some wine gums or a similar sweets with you.   They give you a quick energy burst if you start to feel tired or weak during labour. 

Shampoo/bodywash/toothbrush and toothpaste – it always makes you feel better to have a good wash after delivery. 

Nipple pads – Obvs to prevent any leakages. 

Bikini top – Incase you fancy a water birth but don’t want to bear all in the tub 😉 

Book/ magazines – Some labours can go on for a while so you might want to take something to occupy yourself. This is why I would try to stay at home as long as you can,  I find it easier to pass the time at home rather than in a hospital. 

Phone / Camera and charger – labour can take a while and let’s face it,  none of us can cope for too long without Facebook or Instagram! If you’re not as sad as me you will at least want your phone charged ready for pics of your gorgeous new bubba. While on the subject of photos, may I give you a word of advice? Get someone to take photos straight after delivery. It is the last thing you think of when pushing baby out but I have no pics of my first cuddle with my first four children. My photo with George I absolutly cherish, I look rough as anything and it is far from a glamorous selfie,but looking at it reminds me of that wonderful moment. It is a regret I have with my others, I was too concerned about how I looked to let anyone photo me!

Newborn nappies –  4lb to 11lb usually covers all possibilities, whether you have a dinky dolly or a bigger beauty. 

Cotton Wool – you aren’t suppose to use baby wipes on newborn babies. You are told to use warm water and cotton wool.   I’m not going to lie,  at the risk of being told off, I never used cotton wool with my last two babies.   It’s fiddly and really awkward,  I use fragrance free baby wipes.

Clothes– three vests, three babygrows, a hat and a cardigan/coat. Anticipate that you might be in hospital for a couple of days after the birth. That is unlikely, and even if you do have to stay in I am sure someone could bring in some extra clothes for you. Having said that, babies can make a mess quite easily so I would pack at least three of each anyway. I have always been told, the rule of thumb is, a baby should always wear one more layer of clothing than you.   So depending on the time of year your baby is due you may need a couple of extra layers.

Blanket – to wrap your brand new bundle up in. 

Two bottles and formula – if you dont plan to breastfeed then take a couple of small bottles and carton / bottle of ready made formula.  my hospital provided both but just incase things are different at yours it’s best to be prepared. 

Car Seat – It’s easily forgotten when you are in a rush to get to hospital but don’t forget you will need a car seat to bring baby home in.  Some hospital won’t discharge you without one. 

Maternity pads– giving birth is a messy business!  my tip is to actually forget maternity pads and get incontinence pads from the supermarket,they are usually cheaper and….. The thicker the better. Imagine your heaviest period…the hours/days post birth is worse! 

Pjs– a nice clean set of maternity pajamas so that you are as comfortable as possible after baby is born. I love the Anita range, they are super comfortable but pretty with it. 

For a Homebirth: For a homebirth you will still need everything listed above. It is still best to have everything packed in a hospital bag,  just incase,  like me,  you have to dash to the hospital at the last minute. 

Birthing Pool– I loved my water/homebirth.   It was more simple than you would think to set up.  I used an Eco Pool which came with everything, I highly recommend it. https://www.birthpoolinabox.co.uk/home Just make sure you set it up early and close to a toilet /bathroom so you don’t have to walk around the house soaking wet.   

Four or Five Towels – preferably old towels so that you can just throw everything away afterwards but you can buy cheap towels from primark or tesco if not. 

Bin bags – to scoop everything up and throw away. 

Incontinence Bed Pads – you can buy these of Amazon,  they are so cheap and I used them for a couple of weeks after the births.   They save your bedclothes/mattress/sofa and if you have some left over,  put them in the cupboard and they come in useful if your darlings go through a bed-wetting stage! 

Paracetamol – it might sound silly but make sure you have some handy as those early contractions can be controlled by paracetamol and it will help you get a bit of sleep before showtime. 

Movies – Download a couple of good movies or box sets and have some music ready. 

Clean duvet covers and bed sheets – I always make sure I have a fresh bed set in my bedroom.   Whether I give birth in hospital or at home, there is nothing nicer than getting into a fresh bed with your new baby after you have showered and put your clean clothes on. This obviously isn’t essential,  just a good way of putting that ‘nesting’ energy you have a few days before birth to good use. For more natural pain relief options take a look at my other post If you have found this post useful or know someone who is expecting a baby please share this on your social media. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Tips for friends of a newborn mum

Everyone loves a newborn.  Who can resist those tiny hands and that brand new smell.
It’s even more exciting when it’s a baby of a friend or family member.  

You can impose yourself as soon as the baby is born, then hand baby back when he starts crying…perfect!……if you want to piss off and send your friend into a stressy mess!
When i had the twins 10 years ago, i was clueless.
I was trying to take everything in. Learning to make bottles, change nappies, the art of winding, and all this while trying to bond with my new babies.

Aswell as the babies to care for, i still had a house to try and keep on top of.
When i arrived home from the hospital our first visitors were waiting on the sofa for us to get back.
It was flattering to know people care so much and were getting so excited over our babies but i found it quite overwhelming.
They told me to go and have a lay down and they would look after the babies.
At 24, and a new mum, i did as i was told.
Their intentions were great.  The realitly is, i wanted to be laying down with the babies.
The first couple of weeks visitors poured in with generous gifts and lots of love but if im honest, i hated it.
I heard alot of..
‘Dont worry about the babies, ill watch them, you get on with what you need to do’
Who wants to do housework after you have nurtured a pregnant belly for nine months and squeezed a human out if you?
What i really wanted was to chill out with my babies!
So…4 more babies later and a tonne more confidence, i’m going to tell you what works for me.
When you hear your friend has had their baby, these are my tips (because they wont tell you)
-Send your congratulations text and ask them to text you when THEY are ready for a visit.
No one knows what effect the birth has had on mum.   There is nothing worse than sitting on the sofa, scared to get up infront of your guest because you have leaked through your pad!
It took me a couple of weeks to even leave the house with the twins.  When George (number five) was born, i was out, digging into a tapas the next day!

-Take them round a diner, whether it is a M&S £10 meal deal or a homemade lasagne, it will be seriously appriciated!

-When you visit, after you have coo’d over the new bundle of gorgeousness, do a bit of housework.  
Make new mum a cuppa, load the dishwasher or offer to hang the washing out.
It will make her day! 
-Tell her how fab she looks after having a baby.  She will probably look like crap but its always nice to hear!
-If they are a new mum and breastfeeding, be sensitive.  Depending on your relationship and how close you are, it can be daunting….and embaressing.
The subtle breast latch, when you can start feeding your baby within seconds and with barely any boob showing is a talent that takes practice.
The first few days it is more of a undignified game of squashing your boob and nipple into all sorts of positions to try and encourage baby to ‘latch on’.
When you have an audience this can turn a already stressfull experience into a total meltdown.
If they look like they are not confident with feeding, either offer to help (if you know how to) or use that time to make a cuppa.

I asked some fellow bloggers if they had any tips, heres what they suggest:
Lisa at Mum and dad plus 4:
Don’t wake the baby if sleeping, don’t kiss baby, offer to make a brew and ask if they need help with anything pots, watching baby while they have a quick shower, making feeds feeding baby. Let them have a sleep if needed.  Go to help not be waited on. 
Http://Mumdadplus4.co.uk
Lisa at Baremother:
Do: bring cake or food (but check that mum isn’t lactose intolerant first), offer to hold baby so mum can shower, be the one to make tea/coffee, offer to help tidy or put a load of washing on. Don’t: touch baby without permission, kiss baby, overstay your welcome (an hour is plenty long enough), offer un-asked-for advice. 
www.baremother.com
Jen at Justanaveragejen:
Don’t insist on taking photos of the baby crying – my sons paternal grandmother did this and it broke my heart. She is not in his life anymore (not due to that) but it was weird and I am sure no one else would do it but you never know! And dont comment on how mum is feeding the baby, as long as the baby is being fed it isn’t your business! 
www.justaveragejen.com
Faye at Glossytots:
Take food and ask before you pick up baby 
www.glossytots.co.uk


Emily at emilyandindiana:
Make sure to focus on how mum is doing, just as much as the baby. And if they have any siblings, make sure to include them too, so they don’t feel left out! 
www.emilyandindiana.com


Natasha at itsatashathing:
Do take a little present for mum and baby. For mum some food and maybe some relaxing bath or shower stuff. Don’t tell her how to do stuff with the baby and sound patronising! Don’t pick the baby up without asking, especially if the baby is sleeping! 
www.itsatashathing.blogspot.co.uk/
Vikki at familytravelwithellie:
Thinking back to what I wanted from my visitors …. keep the visits short, never arrive unannounced, arrive with delicious selection of easy to cook food for new mum and dad to enjoy that night  ( m and s meals are a winner ) offer to help with any chores ( washing / dishes etc ) . Ask about mum and how she’s doing . Tell her she’s doing amazing. Tell her she has a beautiful baby . Tell her you won’t stay long this time but you would love to come back whenever she needs a little help , support, shower …. 
www.familytravelwithellie.com
Arabella at exeterbabyactivities:
Make a constructive but simple offer of help.  I see you are busy feeding baby,  – can I fold the washing for you?  Looks like baby needs a mummy cuddle, can I make a cup of tea for you?  Oh you are changing a nappy, shall I put the dishes away while you are doing that?
This lets mum and dad know you are thinking of them without offering any judgement on how they are coping.
www.exeterbabyactivities.co.uk
Emma at readyfreddiego:
I have a nine week old and although the offers of tidying etc were nice they made me feel a bit awkward so I would have loved someone  to send me off to have my hair done and make me feel a bit more me!
www.readyfreddiego.com
Abi at somethingaboutbaby:
I often hear people say to help new mums by doing some chores but I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable with my friends doing that – especially in the early days, my husband was at home so he was managing all that.  I really just wanted to know that my friends were there for me, and interested in my new baby – that they wanted cuddles, and to take photos and feel involved in this little persons life.  I  also wanted that contact to continue – for them to continue checking up to make sure I was ok, and baby was ok.  As a new mum it meant the world to me that so many people cared about us. 
www.somethingaboutbaby.co.uk


Vivienne at themothersroom:
Bring a useful gift – healthy food, a lidded thermal mug, a voucher for a sling consultation so they can get to grips with babywearing, an Amazon voucher so she can load up her kindle for those multiple night feeds –  new outfits and teddies often go unused! Make hot drinks for everyone and if you do get a cuddle, don’t hog the baby!  
(As an aside, don’t invite anyone round in the first few weeks of motherhood if you wouldn’t be comfortable sitting with them in your pyjamas – if they aren’t that close, they aren’t close enough to intrude on such a special time)
www.themothersroom.co.uk
Claire at mumsymidwife:
Please do not bring your children if they have colds. I had this and my 12 day old daughter was admitted to hospital because of it. Do bring along something for Mum, as she is often forgotten. 
www.mumsymidwife.com
Terry-Ann at notaneffingfairytaleblog:
Make the visit a short one, call just before to make sure its still okay to visit as things can change so fast with tiredness etc and don’t ask to hold the baby – the mum might not want even her closes friends to hold it yet 
www.notaneffingfairytaleblog.com
Stacey at onesmallhuman:
Bring a treat for Mum. One of my friends brought me a vanilla latte from Costa (my favourite) and it was brilliant! It had felt like ages since I’d had anything like that. Add to that the fact I felt like I hadn’t slept in days and that sweet caffeine hit was just fantastic.
And the other thing? Once you’ve met baby and had your cuddles, ask about Mum! And have a conversation about something not baby related – office gossip, something on the telly. Remind Mum she’s still a human being! 
https://www.onesmallhuman.co.uk
Nikki at yorkshirewonders:
Take Just Eat vouchers!  I would have loved this when mine were born.  It’s nice to take them food, but I would rather just have a nice visit then a Dominos delivery afterwards! 
www.yorkshirewonders.co.uk
Chantel at twoheartsoneroof:
Great tips above, but don’t forget Dad!! I think Dad’s often get totally forgotten when it comes to new babies. Mums get all the attention and dad is often left feeling like a loose part. Ask him how he is doing too, and if your bringing coffee or something for mum get it for dad too! Baby will alter both of their lives majorly!! 
www.twoheartsoneroof.com
Jodie at maidenheadmum:
I took ‘Pub grub’ for my friend and her husband in their first week at home. I went and bought some premium burgers, posh cheese and the best chips I could find along with a beer for Dad and something tasty for mum as she was breastfeeding. I then cooked it for them so they felt like they were having a treat, even though they were still at home! 
www.maidenheadmum.co.uk
I’d love to hear what your experiences were.  Do you have any do’s or dont’s for visitors?
Please share this with your friends
Lots of love peps
Kate
Xxxx

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

​A few mums,  particularly first time mums,  have asked me to do a blog on what you actually need when you go into labour. I am going to start packing my hospital bag/homebirth box this week (I am 34 weeks pregnant) although you can get it ready whenever it suits you. Bear in mind, women are classed full term at 37 weeks and it certainly isn’t unusual for babies to come early so don’t leave it to late to get your stuff ready. I have broken it down a bit, this is just my personal list. For a hospital bag: Pregnancy Notes– Midwives and doctors will not be impressed of you turn up without them and the chances are your birthing partner will be sent back home to pick them up. Tens Machine – everyone knows about my love for a tens machine, I am lucky enough that a tens machine helps me from early labour to transition with bearable pain. Your tens will probably be strapped to you before you even leave for hospital (it is more effective the earlier you use it) but pop it in your hospital bag so you know where it is when you need it. Loose tracksuit – or trousers and a t shirt to travel home in, something that is not to tight (your tummy is still tender after baby is born). Knickers – pack a few pairs of maternity Knickers or a size bigger than you usually wear. Contrary to what posh spice would have you believe, you still have a   ‘Baby bump’ for a little while after birth. Lipsalve or Vaseline – labour is hardwork and with all the panting you do or gas and air, your lips can dry out quickly. Hair bands – When I’m sweating and mean business I can not tolerate my hair sweaping in front of my face. Make up– look, everyone will tell you you don’t care about how you look when you are in labour and I would completly agree. However,  if you are staying in hospital for a day or so and are expecting visitors you might want to pop a bit of blusher and mascara on. Honestly,  my last few births I couldn’t care less, but I have been at home and able to hide upstairs from guests if I want to. When I had the twins (my first)  the next morning I couldn’t wait to have a wash and put some slap on. Yep that’s right,  I wanted to give the impression of totally nailing this baby lark. If I could give myself some advice I would say, why did you bother!?  no visitors even noticed you. They were too busy cooing over the new babies,  but it made me feel better and if it makes you feel better, pack it! Wine gums – My midwives have always told me to have some wine gums or a similar sweets with you.   They give you a quick energy burst if you start to feel tired or weak during labour. Shampoo/bodywash/toothbrush and toothpaste – it always makes you feel better to have a good wash after delivery. Nipple pads – Obvs to prevent any leakages. Bikini top – Incase you fancy a water birth but don’t want to bear all in the tub 😉 Book/ magazines – Some labours can go on for a while so you might want to take something to occupy yourself. This is why I would try to stay at home as long as you can,  I find it easier to pass the time at home rather than in a hospital. Phone / Camera and charger – labour can take a while and let’s face it,  none of us can cope for too long without Facebook or Instagram! If you’re not as sad as me you will at least want your phone charged ready for pics of your gorgeous new bubba. While on the subject of photos, may I give you a word of advice? Get someone to take photos straight after delivery. It is the last thing you think of when pushing baby out but I have no pics of my first cuddle with my first four children. My photo with George I absolutly cherish, I look rough as anything and it is far from a glamorous selfie,but looking at it reminds me of that wonderful moment. It is a regret I have with my others, I was too concerned about how I looked to let anyone photo me! Newborn nappies –  4lb to 11lb usually covers all possibilities, whether you have a dinky dolly or a bigger beauty. Cotton Wool – you aren’t suppose to use baby wipes on newborn babies. You are told to use warm water and cotton wool.   I’m not going to lie,  at the risk of being told off, I never used cotton wool with my last two babies.   It’s fiddly and really awkward,  I use fragrance free baby wipes. Clothes– three vests, three babygrows, a hat and a cardigan/coat. Anticipate that you might be in hospital for a couple of days after the birth. That is unlikely, and even if you do have to stay in I am sure someone could bring in some extra clothes for you. Having said that, babies can make a mess quite easily so I would pack at least three of each anyway. I have always been told, the rule of thumb is, a baby should always wear one more layer of clothing than you.   So depending on the time of year your baby is due you may need a couple of extra layers. Blanket – to wrap your brand new bundle up in. Two bottles and formula – if you dont plan to breastfeed then take a couple of small bottles and carton / bottle of ready made formula.  my hospital provided both but just incase things are different at yours it’s best to be prepared. Car Seat – It’s easily forgotten when you are in a rush to get to hospital but don’t forget you will need a car seat to bring baby home in.  Some hospital won’t discharge you without one. Maternity pads– giving birth is a messy business!  my tip is to actually forget maternity pads and get incontinence pads from the supermarket,they are usually cheaper and….. The thicker the better. Imagine your heaviest period…the hours/days post birth is worse! Pjs– a nice clean set of maternity pajamas so that you are as comfortable as possible after baby is born. I love the Anita range, they are super comfortable but pretty with it. For a Homebirth: For a homebirth you will still need everything listed above. It is still best to have everything packed in a hospital bag,  just incase,  like me,  you have to dash to the hospital at the last minute. Birthing Pool– I loved my water/homebirth.   It was more simple than you would think to set up.  I used an Eco Pool which came with everything, I highly recommend it. https://www.birthpoolinabox.co.uk/home Just make sure you set it up early and close to a toilet /bathroom so you don’t have to walk around the house soaking wet. Four or Five Towels – preferably old towels so that you can just throw everything away afterwards but you can buy cheap towels from primark or tesco if not. Bin bags – to scoop everything up and throw away. Incontinence Bed Pads – you can buy these of Amazon,  they are so cheap and I used them for a couple of weeks after the births.   They save your bedclothes/mattress/sofa and if you have some left over,  put them in the cupboard and they come in useful if your darlings go through a bed-wetting stage! Paracetamol – it might sound silly but make sure you have some handy as those early contractions can be controlled by paracetamol and it will help you get a bit of sleep before showtime. Movies – Download a couple of good movies or box sets and have some music ready. Clean duvet covers and bed sheets – I always make sure I have a fresh bed set in my bedroom.   Whether I give birth in hospital or at home, there is nothing nicer than getting into a fresh bed with your new baby after you have showered and put your clean clothes on. This obviously isn’t essential,  just a good way of putting that ‘nesting’ energy you have a few days before birth to good use. For more natural pain relief options take a look at my other post If you have found this post useful or know someone who is expecting a baby please share this on your social media. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Burning my bra! 

Burning my bra! 

I always try to keep my blog posts light hearted but as I am lucky enough to have this platform I am going to use it to rant today. This isn’t to lecture or cause controversy.   This is just me,  unleashing my anger that has consumed me for the past 24 hours. I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends in that time to unleash my rage on so I’m afraid you, as my friends and blog viewers are going to get it full blast. Yesterday a post popped up on my newsfeed, it said ; ‘PETITION….1.6 million people signed to stop a man coming into the country, how many will sign to save the most innocent and defenseless in our society…’ It was a petition to withdraw Abortion from NHS funding. Now I’m not a hardcore feminist, I have always believed in equal rights, but im not someone who gets offended by a builder Wolf whistling or a fella saying ‘ cheers love ‘ and I like a man to open the door for me and offering to buy me a drink. But….this post has turned me into a full blown, bra burning women’s right advocate. Everyone is entitled to their opinion,  that is what is amazing about living in a free, democratic society,  but when an opinion or view is imposed on me,  or more importantly my children and future generations every part of my maternal protection kicks in. This petition has been started by a man and encouraged by men it appears. Of the 320 comments that followed this post to date, every pro life comment was from a man. Pro-life – I have a bit of an issue with this term.  I am pro life,  I’m certainly not anti-life.  I certainly am pro choice, not anti-choice which I think is a more appropriate term. I think Pro-life is a term someone gave to give the argument more moral weight. Some of the comments included : _________ ‘The NHS is taxpayer funded which means that as a taxpayer I am required to fund abortions. I believe abortion is murder and while I understand using that word is evocative that is my belief. There are many others who share my views so it seems unreasonable to expect us to fund what we believe to be murder” “1) around 1% of abortion cases involve rape but even then does having a rapist as a parent invalidate someone’s life 2) for 1% of cases our Public Health Service should allow the 99% deaths” “this is muder i think every one should sign this god bless all the litte on born babys pray for the mothers murdering ther  babys an the pepol that help do it god bless jesus loves you all” ___________ These are just a few of the tamer views that were shared by pro life people on this post. I found my blood boiling to the point of obsession and disgust. Being anti abortion I completly understand,  especially if you are a man who can not relate to the reasoning behind a termination. But to impose you belief on me?  On my daughter?  On my sister?  On my friend?  Go f#ck yourself! It is a debate that has been going on for years. It has also made me think about mens views on it. Are they entitled to an opinion? of corse. If a consenting couple find themselves pregnant, should the father have a say over the life of his unborn child?…..absolutely. But,  unfortunately guys we do have the final say. This isn’t about sexism but simple biology,  we carry the baby for nine months,  we sacrifice our body and mind and we alone go through child birth. We can not walk away a few weeks into it because it’s too much for us to handle. We look after the baby for the rest of their life, so really,  who should have the final say?! Another point I have found myself thinking about for the first time is, what would happen if the NHS did stop funding abortions. Desperate girls and women Googling ‘ how to perform home abortions?’ Throwing us back to the 30’s and 40’s where women downed a bottle of gin and sat in a boiling hot bath?  or worse! Jesus, it doesn’t bare thinking about.   Babies abandoned at hospital steps,  care homes over flowing, burdening a child welfare system that is at breaking point already? Babies with severe disabilities or deformities being born to mothers that can not cope. Women traumatised by rape, being forced to birth the baby of their rapist.  Then having to decide if they can live with a baby that they may resent. Or give It up and have further torture wondering if they ever did the right thing. Or a girl who simply enjoys sex but who’s contraceptive failed….. How dare she have enjoyed herself without out weighing up whether, if the protection doesn’t work, could she cope with a baby.  After all,  that is why she used it in the first place! I’m sure the fella was thinking the same thing while he was getting ready to have his fun! I also find a man’s view on a termination interesting.  A comment that kept coming up was a women using it as a form of contraceptive.  how ridiculous! Their is a difference between a women making the mistake more than once and ‘ using it as contraception’ As if a termination is as simple as taking the morning after pill. Do any of these men understand what it is to go through a termination!? The turmoil most women find themselves in is indescribable. A procedure which either way causes physical discomfort and pain not to mention the mental effect. Honestly guys, no one thinks,  don’t worry, I’ll just have an abortion! I commented a few times on this post. I liken it to banging my head against a brick wall. Surprisingly,  only one man tried to defend his opinion.   Albeit a poor defence! He said that he believes in nurturing all children and babies. I call…..bullshit!!! I had to point out,  he is far from nuturing the young 14 year old girl who’s experimenting found herself pregnant and at risk of ruining the rest of her life. These men!  Honestly! I dispair I refer to men because not one women defended the petition. As I read through the posts comments that kept pinging up, it was like watching an argument between me and one of my kids. I could picture in my mind a grown man,  frowning with his arms crossed and stomping his feet. ‘but I just don’t like it,  it’s wrong,  it’s murder, you are evil ‘ And when a proper debate starts they dissappear or throw their toys out of their pram. ‘ you’re just being mean to me because I don’t agree with you…..’ boo hoo’ 1- I’m being mean?  trust me,  I’m holding myself together with all that is in me. 2- you put your opinion out their,  shoving it down my throat,  so have a bit back. Totally narrow minded,  self righteous men,  who, after spouting about how women shouldn’t be allowed terminations, even though their well be thousands more unwantes babies in the world, probably role their eyes at me when I walk in the supermarket with six kids in tow…… Twats!!! I must add,  there are also a huge amount of men supporting women.  I found that equally as encouraging. I feel like, for the first time in my life,  my right as a women is being questioned. Now as a mum to a little girl,  this struck a cord even more. Finding myself slightly obsessed with this post I naturally found myself stalking the Facebook pages of some of the worst culprits. It made me sad to see many were very religious,  one even a pastor. I grew up a Christian and still have my beliefs. Unfortunately, I do also feel this highlights the church’s hypocrisy on some subjects. Wow, I feel so much better now.   Thanks for listening,  sorry if I have provoked anger (maybe even towards me) But, if my daughter comes to me one day in a position she never thought she would find herself in, dispite all my ‘ safe sex ‘ talks,  I know Mike and I would put our arms round her,  explain ALL her options and support her no matter what she decides. I’m not going to actively promote this post due to its controversy. However,  if you feel it is important to you or has struck a cord, please like and share away. Peace out ✌