Supporting other parents

Supporting other parents

**WARNING – I have wrote this post with a ten month old on my lap and my two year old bouncing on my legs playing horsey so please excuse any typos, bad grammar or spelling mistakes!****** I have only just started enjoying our lunch dates with the kids again. As soon as George turned fifteen months my usual calm, civilized diners started to resemble a scene out of Jurassic Park. The one where the T-Rex is flipping cars and tearing down fences while the humans watch George flung himself out of the high chair (those wooden ones are beyond pointless!). He would chew food up and then let it spill out of his mouth onto the table while telling me ‘Don’t like it’. Instead of the pasta Arribiata infront of him, he would have his eyes on my moules mariniere (and happily eat every one!). The floor around his seat would have a mixture of food, snapped crayons and napkins scattered everywhere. It was so messy that I would leave the servers a 40% tip out of embarrassment and guilt. If I tried to discipline him at the table, he would scream louder and then would come the disapproving glances from around the restaurant. Considering I took my first four children out all the time, and we would be complimented on how well behaved they were…this was new territory for me. Add a new baby Arthur, who had a healthy set of lungs on him into the mix and eating out became nothing but an anxiety inducing stress-fest! Since November, thankfully things have changed. For a start, George has developed a love for YouTube (yep…and I WILL give him his tablet if It means I can drink my coffee while it is hot!) Also, now he can talk and communicate more his behaviour has taken a huge turn. I would even say eating out with him is enjoyable! The most important thing I learnt about my number five is that ‘No one puts baby in the corner. ‘ He is happier sitting in an adults seat with the older kids rather than a high chair next to mum! Last week we took the younger boys out to our local Italian for some lunch. It is one of our favourites because it is no only child friendly but seriously delicious too. It was a Friday lunchtime and the restaurant was full of mums with toddlers and older ladies and gents enjoying a retirement lunch. We were sat between a couple in their 70’s (I am guessing) and a lady with a baby having lunch with her parents. The baby next to us must have been about seven month and was crying…and crying…and crying. Her mum was trying desperatly to sooth her but the baby wasnt having it and the mum looked tired and stressed. Mike was trying to have a conversation with me but I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. I was so distracted. It wasn’t the baby that was bothering me…it was her mum. She was flustered and panicking and I could feel every inch of her uncomfort. I glanced around and realised the older couple had asked to be moved and the mothers with toddlers were rolling their eyes and tutting! I felt like crying for her! I walked over and knelt down to the mum with her baby. ‘Most the people in the room are parents and we have all been where you are. Don’t worry about anyone else, you are doing a great job.’ I offered to take the baby while she finished her lunch as ours hadnt arrived yet. She burst into tears and gave me a big hug. The mum felt instantly more relaxed and in turn, her little baby calmed down. George and Arthur were a joy that day and unlike the mum next to me, we were getting nods of approval. Usually I would feel proud that out kids good behaviour is being aknowledged, but when the praise is coming from the same judgemental dicks that are rolling their eyes at a crying baby I just felt annoyed. Rewind just a few weeks and it was me that was sitting their being talked about and feeling shamed. George didnt let us down though. As the bill was placed on the table he kicked his shoes off and ran through the restaurant. He ran around tables, giggling and screaming as I chased him like a overweight hurdler after a bottle of prosecco. As I passed the mums who had been rolling their eyes i laughed ‘It was all going so well! That will teach me for being smug!’ hoping they might find the hint and advice in my comment. George ran behind the bar, hi-fiving the waiters and I finally rugby tackled him at kitchen door! A couple of days after this I read in a paper that a lady with a crying baby was asked to leave a cafe because it was upsetting the customers. I wonder how many of those people offered some help or advice to the mum, who may well have been struggling herself, before they complained to the owner? Or whether the owner of the cafe thought to ask if there was anything he/she could do to help before they showed her to the pavement. I do have sympathy for everyone who wants to have a quiet meal without ‘naughty’ children or screaming babies around them. My point is simply, before you roll your eyes, ask to be moved or tut at the parents, take a second to think. Could this parent be struggling? Could that child throwing a tantrum have a disability that you can not see? Could this parent benifit from a gentle hand of reassurance? Or more to the point…..were your children always perfect? Anyway, im off out for lunch with all the kids….wish me luck 😜

Tips to help your labour

Tips to help your labour

Before you read this, please remember,  I have been lucky enough to have straight forward births. I don’t want to come across ‘preachy’   This is what works for me and I wish, when I was pregnant with the twins,  someone had told me a good birth story rather than all the ‘Labour is the worst thing ever tales’ ‘ don’t envy you ‘ ‘ just take a much pain relief as you can ‘ It goes without saying if you need pain relief, take it, don’t be a martyr. But equally there are ways of coping without it that no one tells you about. Two tips I wish someone had told me are these …. Firstly, usually,  when the pain gets bad,  so bad you don’t think you can carry on,  you will be nearly ready to push…. You are moments away from meeting your baby so don’t panic,  you are nearly there! And two…. Never, let anyone force you to stay in a laying down position unless medically necessary. I was basically strapped to the hospital bed with the twins as I was classed as ‘ high risk ‘ and because they were my first babies I did exactly what I was told!  Ten years later, I don’t think they encourage laying down as much anymore. It is an unnatural position to birth in (imagine trying to poo standing on your head). It will make the contractions more painful (alot more painful!) and the labour last longer. Follow your bodies Instinct, walk around,  dance,  rock, bend over but try to avoid laying down. I think this is why I was determined to take control of my next birth and opted to have it at home. I ended up giving birth to Charlie on my hands and knees because it just felt right at the time.  I have a few rituals to get me through labour and make it as easy as possible. Everyone who knows me will know I’m not exactly a hippie but when it comes to labour I have a very free spirit attitude. Your baby has to come out one way or another so try to stay positive,  as scary as it is, and as daunting as it can be, try to embrace it. Maybe try some of these….. 

Bath – A hot (but not too hot)  bath is great during labour.   I tend to run a bath for every ailment I have,  whether its a cold, period pains,  stress, back ache or a headache. Add a few drops of your essential oils, concentrate on your breathing and prepare for what’s coming.

Raspberry Leaf Tea – I love this!!!  Well…. I think I love it!  I can drink it all day, everyday towards the end of my pregnancies, but once I am baby free, it gets chucked to the back of my cupboard never to been seen again….. Until the next pregnancy. I wonder if it is a mental thing? Something I associate with the end of a pregnancy perhaps? Soothing? Anyway… It’s purpose is to strengthen and tone the muscles around your uterus and help with a steady,  progressive labour. I have drank it in every pregnancy from about 32 weeks. Because I have drank it everytime I couldn’t tell you if it has helped towards quick labours or not, but I have always been blessed with shorter labours and very quick transition stages. I dilate from 4-5 cm to 10cm and start pushing in under half an hour. Maybe the raspberry leaf tea contributes to this,  maybe it doesn’t but give it a go anyway! You can buy it online or from Holland and Barrett. Make sure you start drinking it early (but not before 32 weeks).

 – Clary sage oil I love essential oils and find them really helpful throughout pregnancy. Clary Sage helps with pain and stress relief and smells gorgeous. During the early stages of labour I put a few drops into my bath and soak for a while. I also put a couple of drops onto a wet flannel to use as the contractions get stronger. I know some women add a couple of drops to a carrier oil and let there partner massage them with it. This would never work for me because if Mike tried to massage me during labour I would be likely to smash him in the face! I sometimes I add a couple of drops of frankincense too, it is a calming essential oil and I find it works great with clary sage for me. It is important to know that you should not use Clary Sage during your pregnancy as it can bring on contractions.   

Tens machine– Tens machines seem to be like marmite, some girls love it and some hate it. It is honestly a huge part of my pain relief during labour. I can’t tell you that it completely takes the pain away but it certainly dulls it and gives me something to focus on. It works by placing some sticky pads to your back which are attached to a small hand held machine by long wires. Small electrical pulses are sent through the machine to the patches and block the feeling of pain going to your brain.  It also helps stimulate natural endorphins (pain relief) in your body. You feel a vibrating sensation on your back and you can control how strong the electrical pulse is through your machine. When your contractions first start you strap it on and just need to use a low pulse. Then,  as your labour and contractions progress you will push for higher and higher pulses. Once it feels like it isn’t helping that’s when I jump in the birthing pool and am usually not far from pushing.

Birthing ball– Not only are birthing balls great to help back pain during pregnancy it is great for labour. During the early – middle of labour I sit on it and rock gently backwards and forwards,  rotating my hips, it really helps with pain and labour ‘fidgets’ i can’t sit still! 

Good movie / box set – There is no point racing to the hospital as soon as your first Contraction is felt.   Quite often it can be false labour but even if it is the real thing it can take quite a while. I find it much better for pain relief and comfort to spend as much of my labour at home as possible. Once I know it’s the real thing I put on a good movie and try to relax. During Charlies labour I watched Date Night, during Libbys I put on The Sweetest Thing and with George I was watching Louis Theroux documentries! 

Candles – All girls love candles,  I don’t really need to say more.   It’s about creating a calming atmosphere.  Dim lights, flickering candles all helps with calming and clearing your mind. Again,  you could add some oils to an oil burner  to perfume the air with some clary sage,  lavender,  ginger or frankincense. 

Music – Having music on in the background as delivery time approaches can be uplifting, encouraging and inspiring. 

Birthing Pool – During my first two labours I point blank refused to use a birthing pool.   The thought of sitting in a pool of your own blood and bodily fluids totally grossed me out. I only used one with Libby out of pure curiosity. I had done the hospital birth, I had done the homebirth so now I wanted to try out a waterbirth! I bought an Ecopool online,  the whole lot was about £110 and it was so easy to use. I would always insist on a waterbirth now,  the difference in pain at transition (pushing)  is massive. There is also something really special about holding your baby for the first time in a relaxing pool of warm water (plus it cleans them… Bonus!) It also allowed me to be in a position with Libby and George where I felt more in control of delivering them, reaching down when they come out and pulling them to you rather than baby being handed to you by your midwife. It is really important for me to say, after telling you all this, do what is right for you.   If you need a c-section for whatever reason or you have an epidural then that’s the way for you,  if I can’t handle things with my next birth I will have no problem calling for an epidural! The main thing is for baby to come into the world as stress free and healthy as possible and for mum to be the same. Do you have any tips for pain/stress relief during labour? Now I’ve wrote this all down let’s hope that baby number six, due in April, comes as smoothly as possible. Wish me luck xxx

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

A few mums,  particularly first time mums,  have asked me to do a blog on what you actually need when you go into labour. I am going to start packing my hospital bag/homebirth box this week (I am 34 weeks pregnant) although you can get it ready whenever it suits you. Bear in mind, women are classed full term at 37 weeks and it certainly isn’t unusual for babies to come early so don’t leave it to late to get your stuff ready. I have broken it down a bit, this is just my personal list. 

For a hospital bagPregnancy Notes– Midwives and doctors will not be impressed of you turn up without them and the chances are your birthing partner will be sent back home to pick them up. 

Tens Machine – everyone knows about my love for a tens machine, I am lucky enough that a tens machine helps me from early labour to transition with bearable pain. Your tens will probably be strapped to you before you even leave for hospital (it is more effective the earlier you use it) but pop it in your hospital bag so you know where it is when you need it. 

Loose tracksuit – or trousers and a t shirt to travel home in, something that is not to tight (your tummy is still tender after baby is born). 

Knickers – pack a few pairs of maternity Knickers or a size bigger than you usually wear. Contrary to what posh spice would have you believe, you still have a   ‘Baby bump’ for a little while after birth.

Lipsalve or Vaseline – labour is hardwork and with all the panting you do or gas and air, your lips can dry out quickly. 

Hair bands – When I’m sweating and mean business I can not tolerate my hair sweaping in front of my face. 

Make up– look, everyone will tell you you don’t care about how you look when you are in labour and I would completly agree. However,  if you are staying in hospital for a day or so and are expecting visitors you might want to pop a bit of blusher and mascara on. Honestly,  my last few births I couldn’t care less, but I have been at home and able to hide upstairs from guests if I want to. When I had the twins (my first)  the next morning I couldn’t wait to have a wash and put some slap on. Yep that’s right,  I wanted to give the impression of totally nailing this baby lark. If I could give myself some advice I would say, why did you bother!?  no visitors even noticed you. They were too busy cooing over the new babies,  but it made me feel better and if it makes you feel better, pack it!

Wine gums – My midwives have always told me to have some wine gums or a similar sweets with you.   They give you a quick energy burst if you start to feel tired or weak during labour. 

Shampoo/bodywash/toothbrush and toothpaste – it always makes you feel better to have a good wash after delivery. 

Nipple pads – Obvs to prevent any leakages. 

Bikini top – Incase you fancy a water birth but don’t want to bear all in the tub 😉 

Book/ magazines – Some labours can go on for a while so you might want to take something to occupy yourself. This is why I would try to stay at home as long as you can,  I find it easier to pass the time at home rather than in a hospital. 

Phone / Camera and charger – labour can take a while and let’s face it,  none of us can cope for too long without Facebook or Instagram! If you’re not as sad as me you will at least want your phone charged ready for pics of your gorgeous new bubba. While on the subject of photos, may I give you a word of advice? Get someone to take photos straight after delivery. It is the last thing you think of when pushing baby out but I have no pics of my first cuddle with my first four children. My photo with George I absolutly cherish, I look rough as anything and it is far from a glamorous selfie,but looking at it reminds me of that wonderful moment. It is a regret I have with my others, I was too concerned about how I looked to let anyone photo me!

Newborn nappies –  4lb to 11lb usually covers all possibilities, whether you have a dinky dolly or a bigger beauty. 

Cotton Wool – you aren’t suppose to use baby wipes on newborn babies. You are told to use warm water and cotton wool.   I’m not going to lie,  at the risk of being told off, I never used cotton wool with my last two babies.   It’s fiddly and really awkward,  I use fragrance free baby wipes.

Clothes– three vests, three babygrows, a hat and a cardigan/coat. Anticipate that you might be in hospital for a couple of days after the birth. That is unlikely, and even if you do have to stay in I am sure someone could bring in some extra clothes for you. Having said that, babies can make a mess quite easily so I would pack at least three of each anyway. I have always been told, the rule of thumb is, a baby should always wear one more layer of clothing than you.   So depending on the time of year your baby is due you may need a couple of extra layers.

Blanket – to wrap your brand new bundle up in. 

Two bottles and formula – if you dont plan to breastfeed then take a couple of small bottles and carton / bottle of ready made formula.  my hospital provided both but just incase things are different at yours it’s best to be prepared. 

Car Seat – It’s easily forgotten when you are in a rush to get to hospital but don’t forget you will need a car seat to bring baby home in.  Some hospital won’t discharge you without one. 

Maternity pads– giving birth is a messy business!  my tip is to actually forget maternity pads and get incontinence pads from the supermarket,they are usually cheaper and….. The thicker the better. Imagine your heaviest period…the hours/days post birth is worse! 

Pjs– a nice clean set of maternity pajamas so that you are as comfortable as possible after baby is born. I love the Anita range, they are super comfortable but pretty with it. 

For a Homebirth: For a homebirth you will still need everything listed above. It is still best to have everything packed in a hospital bag,  just incase,  like me,  you have to dash to the hospital at the last minute. 

Birthing Pool– I loved my water/homebirth.   It was more simple than you would think to set up.  I used an Eco Pool which came with everything, I highly recommend it. https://www.birthpoolinabox.co.uk/home Just make sure you set it up early and close to a toilet /bathroom so you don’t have to walk around the house soaking wet.   

Four or Five Towels – preferably old towels so that you can just throw everything away afterwards but you can buy cheap towels from primark or tesco if not. 

Bin bags – to scoop everything up and throw away. 

Incontinence Bed Pads – you can buy these of Amazon,  they are so cheap and I used them for a couple of weeks after the births.   They save your bedclothes/mattress/sofa and if you have some left over,  put them in the cupboard and they come in useful if your darlings go through a bed-wetting stage! 

Paracetamol – it might sound silly but make sure you have some handy as those early contractions can be controlled by paracetamol and it will help you get a bit of sleep before showtime. 

Movies – Download a couple of good movies or box sets and have some music ready. 

Clean duvet covers and bed sheets – I always make sure I have a fresh bed set in my bedroom.   Whether I give birth in hospital or at home, there is nothing nicer than getting into a fresh bed with your new baby after you have showered and put your clean clothes on. This obviously isn’t essential,  just a good way of putting that ‘nesting’ energy you have a few days before birth to good use. For more natural pain relief options take a look at my other post If you have found this post useful or know someone who is expecting a baby please share this on your social media. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Baby One vs Baby Five

Baby One vs Baby Five

I’ve been thinking about how much I have changed from the first time mum of twins I was ten years ago to the mum of nearly six now. This list worried me a bit,  and before you contemplate calling social services after reading this, George is the happiest baby I have ever known! You tend to do so much different the second, third, fourth,  fifth and sixth time round 😱 Baby One : I started looking at buggies and cots when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. Baby five: I dragged the dusty cot out of the loft on my due date. Buggy? I don’t have time for a buggy, I just strap baby to me and go! _________________ Baby One: Book pregnancy massage at 30 weeks to relax. Baby Five : Radox relaxing bubble bath while one child is talking to me whilst taking a dump on the loo and another throwing toys at my head. ___________________ Baby one : ‘oh wow, congratulations,  that is such wonderful news ‘ Baby Five: ‘ANOTHER ONE!?  you need to stop now!  Send him for the snip! _______________________ Baby One : Panic and Google everything about childbirth, gather as many stories as possible and hope your hospital stay is minimal. Baby Five : Not to worried about the pain,  more concerned how I will muster the energy to actually push the baby out. After two homebirths,  considering a hospital birth to blag a couple of peaceful days with my feet up being waited on. _____________________ Baby One: Sterilise the sh*t out of everything, dummies,  bottles,  hubby’s hands…. Baby Five : Put the dummy in my mouth to clean it!  (come on,  I just watched the dog lick the babies hands and my five year old put her fingers in his mouth!) _____________________ Baby One : Keep everyone away for a couple of days after the birth to recover,  when they do come,  hostess and act like the perfect, coping mum Baby Five : Invite as many people as possible over as soon as baby is born and go straight to bed to ensure you can buy enough ‘visitor baby hugs’ time to get a good couple of hours sleep. _____________________ Baby One : Boil wash every item of clothing prior to baby wearing it and clean bedclothes daily. Baby Five : Wash at 30 degrees with the other kids clothes and only wash bed clothes when baby has been sick! Otherwise it falls in the general house rules of one wash a week! ______________________ Baby One : Buy every lotion, potion and gimic you can afford. Baby Five : Olive oil for cradle cap, lavender oil in the bath rather than the £10 bottle of lavender scented baby bath cream. Oh, and FYI, Calpol is exactly the same as the own brand baby paracetamol but triple the price. _____________________ Baby One : Two weeks post birth spent in hibernation. Baby Five : School run six hours later. ___________________ Baby One: Panic over the ‘ right ‘ time to start your baby on solids. Baby Five: Disregard the professionals and as soon as baby isn’t getting satisfied by milk the porridge comes out. ______________________ Baby One : Toddler groups three mornings a week. Baby Five: Organising coffee mornings around what coffee shop has  the best ‘kids area ‘ ______________________ Baby One : Never take the babies to McDonald’s! They will only eat healthy, organic food including their 5-a-day until they are 9! Baby Five : Tried McDonald’s by nine months and even substituted the fruit for an apple strudel. ______________________ Baby One : 6.30pm bedtime,  no excuses. Boom! Baby Five : It’s 8pm and the baby is watching Fresh Prince with the older kids. If the house is quiet why rock the boat? ____________________ Baby One : Plan toilet training like it is a military operation. Baby Five : Forget to put a nappy on the baby and realise after two days he has been using the potty in the corner. ______________________ Baby One : At one month old, researching primary schools, high schools and universities so that my angels can become the next prime minister, doctor or lawyer. Baby Five : Now looking at high schools for real for the older kids. Primary school is already planned under the sibling rule and ive actually realised,  as long as they are happy and have good support, who cares what they are when they are older. _______________________ Baby One : Baby gates everywhere! Can’t possibly risk baby falling down the stairs. Baby Five : Teach baby how to climb down stairs safely before he can even walk. ________________________ Baby One : Worry at 2pm that baby hasn’t had lunch and stop everything to make sure they have a suitable meal. Baby Five : At 2pm wonder if the two ginger biscuits and a mouthful of mud he had at the park is ok to pass for lunch. ______________________ Baby One : Perfect changing bag packed and full of baby necessities at all times. Baby Five : Two nappies in one pocket and baby wipes and a dummy in the other and off we go! _________________________ Baby One : If the baby starts creating in a restaurant,  stick by your guns,  ride the tantrum out and beam with pride when you win and other diners are patting you on the back. Baby Five : Baby creates in a restaurant and you pass them the lemon from your g&t, a left over rib, order a chocole brownie or do just about anything they want just to shut them up…..then roll your eyes at the disapproving diners! 😂

Supporting other parents

Supporting other parents

**WARNING – I have wrote this post with a ten month old on my lap and my two year old bouncing on my legs playing horsey so please excuse any typos, bad grammar or spelling mistakes!****** I have only just started enjoying our lunch dates with the kids again. As soon as George turned fifteen months my usual calm, civilized diners started to resemble a scene out of Jurassic Park. The one where the T-Rex is flipping cars and tearing down fences while the humans watch on, horried, from behind a tree! I would get flustered and embaressed while George flung himself out of the high chair (those wooden ones are beyond pointless!). He would chew food up and then let it spill out of his mouth onto the table while telling me ‘Don’t like it’. Instead of the pasta Arribiata infront of him, he would have his eyes on my moules mariniere (and happily eat every one!). The floor around his seat would have a mixture of food, snapped crayons and napkins scattered everywhere. It was so messy that I would leave the servers a 40% tip out of embarrassment and guilt. If I tried to discipline him at the table, he would scream louder and then would come the disapproving glances from around the restaurant. Considering I took my first four children out all the time, and we would be complimented on how well behaved they were…this was new territory for me. Add a new baby Arthur, who had a healthy set of lungs on him into the mix and eating out became nothing but an anxiety inducing stress-fest! Since November, thankfully things have changed. For a start, George has developed a love for YouTube (yep…and I WILL give him his tablet if It means I can drink my coffee while it is hot!) Also, now he can talk and communicate more his behaviour has taken a huge turn. I would even say eating out with him is enjoyable! The most important thing I learnt about my number five is that ‘No one puts baby in the corner. ‘ He is happier sitting in an adults seat with the older kids rather than a high chair next to mum! Last week we took the younger boys out to our local Italian for some lunch. It is one of our favourites because it is no only child friendly but seriously delicious too. It was a Friday lunchtime and the restaurant was full of mums with toddlers and older ladies and gents enjoying a retirement lunch. We were sat between a couple in their 70’s (I am guessing) and a lady with a baby having lunch with her parents. The baby next to us must have been about seven month and was crying…and crying…and crying. Her mum was trying desperatly to sooth her but the baby wasnt having it and the mum looked tired and stressed. Mike was trying to have a conversation with me but I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. I was so distracted. It wasn’t the baby that was bothering me…it was her mum. She was flustered and panicking and I could feel every inch of her uncomfort. I glanced around and realised the older couple had asked to be moved and the mothers with toddlers were rolling their eyes and tutting! I felt like crying for her! I walked over and knelt down to the mum with her baby. ‘Most the people in the room are parents and we have all been where you are. Don’t worry about anyone else, you are doing a great job.’ I offered to take the baby while she finished her lunch as ours hadnt arrived yet. She burst into tears and gave me a big hug. The mum felt instantly more relaxed and in turn, her little baby calmed down. George and Arthur were a joy that day and unlike the mum next to me, we were getting nods of approval. Usually I would feel proud that out kids good behaviour is being aknowledged, but when the praise is coming from the same judgemental dicks that are rolling their eyes at a crying baby I just felt annoyed. Rewind just a few weeks and it was me that was sitting their being talked about and feeling shamed. George didnt let us down though. As the bill was placed on the table he kicked his shoes off and ran through the restaurant. He ran around tables, giggling and screaming as I chased him like a overweight hurdler after a bottle of prosecco. As I passed the mums who had been rolling their eyes i laughed ‘It was all going so well! That will teach me for being smug!’ hoping they might find the hint and advice in my comment. George ran behind the bar, hi-fiving the waiters and I finally rugby tackled him at kitchen door! A couple of days after this I read in a paper that a lady with a crying baby was asked to leave a cafe because it was upsetting the customers. I wonder how many of those people offered some help or advice to the mum, who may well have been struggling herself, before they complained to the owner? Or whether the owner of the cafe thought to ask if there was anything he/she could do to help before they showed her to the pavement. I do have sympathy for everyone who wants to have a quiet meal without ‘naughty’ children or screaming babies around them. My point is simply, before you roll your eyes, ask to be moved or tut at the parents, take a second to think. Could this parent be struggling? Could that child throwing a tantrum have a disability that you can not see? Could this parent benifit from a gentle hand of reassurance? Or more to the point…..were your children always perfect? Anyway, im off out for lunch with all the kids….wish me luck 😜

Tips for friends of a newborn mum

Everyone loves a newborn.  Who can resist those tiny hands and that brand new smell.
It’s even more exciting when it’s a baby of a friend or family member.  

You can impose yourself as soon as the baby is born, then hand baby back when he starts crying…perfect!……if you want to piss off and send your friend into a stressy mess!
When i had the twins 10 years ago, i was clueless.
I was trying to take everything in. Learning to make bottles, change nappies, the art of winding, and all this while trying to bond with my new babies.

Aswell as the babies to care for, i still had a house to try and keep on top of.
When i arrived home from the hospital our first visitors were waiting on the sofa for us to get back.
It was flattering to know people care so much and were getting so excited over our babies but i found it quite overwhelming.
They told me to go and have a lay down and they would look after the babies.
At 24, and a new mum, i did as i was told.
Their intentions were great.  The realitly is, i wanted to be laying down with the babies.
The first couple of weeks visitors poured in with generous gifts and lots of love but if im honest, i hated it.
I heard alot of..
‘Dont worry about the babies, ill watch them, you get on with what you need to do’
Who wants to do housework after you have nurtured a pregnant belly for nine months and squeezed a human out if you?
What i really wanted was to chill out with my babies!
So…4 more babies later and a tonne more confidence, i’m going to tell you what works for me.
When you hear your friend has had their baby, these are my tips (because they wont tell you)
-Send your congratulations text and ask them to text you when THEY are ready for a visit.
No one knows what effect the birth has had on mum.   There is nothing worse than sitting on the sofa, scared to get up infront of your guest because you have leaked through your pad!
It took me a couple of weeks to even leave the house with the twins.  When George (number five) was born, i was out, digging into a tapas the next day!

-Take them round a diner, whether it is a M&S £10 meal deal or a homemade lasagne, it will be seriously appriciated!

-When you visit, after you have coo’d over the new bundle of gorgeousness, do a bit of housework.  
Make new mum a cuppa, load the dishwasher or offer to hang the washing out.
It will make her day! 
-Tell her how fab she looks after having a baby.  She will probably look like crap but its always nice to hear!
-If they are a new mum and breastfeeding, be sensitive.  Depending on your relationship and how close you are, it can be daunting….and embaressing.
The subtle breast latch, when you can start feeding your baby within seconds and with barely any boob showing is a talent that takes practice.
The first few days it is more of a undignified game of squashing your boob and nipple into all sorts of positions to try and encourage baby to ‘latch on’.
When you have an audience this can turn a already stressfull experience into a total meltdown.
If they look like they are not confident with feeding, either offer to help (if you know how to) or use that time to make a cuppa.

I asked some fellow bloggers if they had any tips, heres what they suggest:
Lisa at Mum and dad plus 4:
Don’t wake the baby if sleeping, don’t kiss baby, offer to make a brew and ask if they need help with anything pots, watching baby while they have a quick shower, making feeds feeding baby. Let them have a sleep if needed.  Go to help not be waited on. 
Http://Mumdadplus4.co.uk
Lisa at Baremother:
Do: bring cake or food (but check that mum isn’t lactose intolerant first), offer to hold baby so mum can shower, be the one to make tea/coffee, offer to help tidy or put a load of washing on. Don’t: touch baby without permission, kiss baby, overstay your welcome (an hour is plenty long enough), offer un-asked-for advice. 
www.baremother.com
Jen at Justanaveragejen:
Don’t insist on taking photos of the baby crying – my sons paternal grandmother did this and it broke my heart. She is not in his life anymore (not due to that) but it was weird and I am sure no one else would do it but you never know! And dont comment on how mum is feeding the baby, as long as the baby is being fed it isn’t your business! 
www.justaveragejen.com
Faye at Glossytots:
Take food and ask before you pick up baby 
www.glossytots.co.uk


Emily at emilyandindiana:
Make sure to focus on how mum is doing, just as much as the baby. And if they have any siblings, make sure to include them too, so they don’t feel left out! 
www.emilyandindiana.com


Natasha at itsatashathing:
Do take a little present for mum and baby. For mum some food and maybe some relaxing bath or shower stuff. Don’t tell her how to do stuff with the baby and sound patronising! Don’t pick the baby up without asking, especially if the baby is sleeping! 
www.itsatashathing.blogspot.co.uk/
Vikki at familytravelwithellie:
Thinking back to what I wanted from my visitors …. keep the visits short, never arrive unannounced, arrive with delicious selection of easy to cook food for new mum and dad to enjoy that night  ( m and s meals are a winner ) offer to help with any chores ( washing / dishes etc ) . Ask about mum and how she’s doing . Tell her she’s doing amazing. Tell her she has a beautiful baby . Tell her you won’t stay long this time but you would love to come back whenever she needs a little help , support, shower …. 
www.familytravelwithellie.com
Arabella at exeterbabyactivities:
Make a constructive but simple offer of help.  I see you are busy feeding baby,  – can I fold the washing for you?  Looks like baby needs a mummy cuddle, can I make a cup of tea for you?  Oh you are changing a nappy, shall I put the dishes away while you are doing that?
This lets mum and dad know you are thinking of them without offering any judgement on how they are coping.
www.exeterbabyactivities.co.uk
Emma at readyfreddiego:
I have a nine week old and although the offers of tidying etc were nice they made me feel a bit awkward so I would have loved someone  to send me off to have my hair done and make me feel a bit more me!
www.readyfreddiego.com
Abi at somethingaboutbaby:
I often hear people say to help new mums by doing some chores but I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable with my friends doing that – especially in the early days, my husband was at home so he was managing all that.  I really just wanted to know that my friends were there for me, and interested in my new baby – that they wanted cuddles, and to take photos and feel involved in this little persons life.  I  also wanted that contact to continue – for them to continue checking up to make sure I was ok, and baby was ok.  As a new mum it meant the world to me that so many people cared about us. 
www.somethingaboutbaby.co.uk


Vivienne at themothersroom:
Bring a useful gift – healthy food, a lidded thermal mug, a voucher for a sling consultation so they can get to grips with babywearing, an Amazon voucher so she can load up her kindle for those multiple night feeds –  new outfits and teddies often go unused! Make hot drinks for everyone and if you do get a cuddle, don’t hog the baby!  
(As an aside, don’t invite anyone round in the first few weeks of motherhood if you wouldn’t be comfortable sitting with them in your pyjamas – if they aren’t that close, they aren’t close enough to intrude on such a special time)
www.themothersroom.co.uk
Claire at mumsymidwife:
Please do not bring your children if they have colds. I had this and my 12 day old daughter was admitted to hospital because of it. Do bring along something for Mum, as she is often forgotten. 
www.mumsymidwife.com
Terry-Ann at notaneffingfairytaleblog:
Make the visit a short one, call just before to make sure its still okay to visit as things can change so fast with tiredness etc and don’t ask to hold the baby – the mum might not want even her closes friends to hold it yet 
www.notaneffingfairytaleblog.com
Stacey at onesmallhuman:
Bring a treat for Mum. One of my friends brought me a vanilla latte from Costa (my favourite) and it was brilliant! It had felt like ages since I’d had anything like that. Add to that the fact I felt like I hadn’t slept in days and that sweet caffeine hit was just fantastic.
And the other thing? Once you’ve met baby and had your cuddles, ask about Mum! And have a conversation about something not baby related – office gossip, something on the telly. Remind Mum she’s still a human being! 
https://www.onesmallhuman.co.uk
Nikki at yorkshirewonders:
Take Just Eat vouchers!  I would have loved this when mine were born.  It’s nice to take them food, but I would rather just have a nice visit then a Dominos delivery afterwards! 
www.yorkshirewonders.co.uk
Chantel at twoheartsoneroof:
Great tips above, but don’t forget Dad!! I think Dad’s often get totally forgotten when it comes to new babies. Mums get all the attention and dad is often left feeling like a loose part. Ask him how he is doing too, and if your bringing coffee or something for mum get it for dad too! Baby will alter both of their lives majorly!! 
www.twoheartsoneroof.com
Jodie at maidenheadmum:
I took ‘Pub grub’ for my friend and her husband in their first week at home. I went and bought some premium burgers, posh cheese and the best chips I could find along with a beer for Dad and something tasty for mum as she was breastfeeding. I then cooked it for them so they felt like they were having a treat, even though they were still at home! 
www.maidenheadmum.co.uk
I’d love to hear what your experiences were.  Do you have any do’s or dont’s for visitors?
Please share this with your friends
Lots of love peps
Kate
Xxxx

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

What do I need for Labour? Hospital or Homebirth

​A few mums,  particularly first time mums,  have asked me to do a blog on what you actually need when you go into labour. I am going to start packing my hospital bag/homebirth box this week (I am 34 weeks pregnant) although you can get it ready whenever it suits you. Bear in mind, women are classed full term at 37 weeks and it certainly isn’t unusual for babies to come early so don’t leave it to late to get your stuff ready. I have broken it down a bit, this is just my personal list. For a hospital bag: Pregnancy Notes– Midwives and doctors will not be impressed of you turn up without them and the chances are your birthing partner will be sent back home to pick them up. Tens Machine – everyone knows about my love for a tens machine, I am lucky enough that a tens machine helps me from early labour to transition with bearable pain. Your tens will probably be strapped to you before you even leave for hospital (it is more effective the earlier you use it) but pop it in your hospital bag so you know where it is when you need it. Loose tracksuit – or trousers and a t shirt to travel home in, something that is not to tight (your tummy is still tender after baby is born). Knickers – pack a few pairs of maternity Knickers or a size bigger than you usually wear. Contrary to what posh spice would have you believe, you still have a   ‘Baby bump’ for a little while after birth. Lipsalve or Vaseline – labour is hardwork and with all the panting you do or gas and air, your lips can dry out quickly. Hair bands – When I’m sweating and mean business I can not tolerate my hair sweaping in front of my face. Make up– look, everyone will tell you you don’t care about how you look when you are in labour and I would completly agree. However,  if you are staying in hospital for a day or so and are expecting visitors you might want to pop a bit of blusher and mascara on. Honestly,  my last few births I couldn’t care less, but I have been at home and able to hide upstairs from guests if I want to. When I had the twins (my first)  the next morning I couldn’t wait to have a wash and put some slap on. Yep that’s right,  I wanted to give the impression of totally nailing this baby lark. If I could give myself some advice I would say, why did you bother!?  no visitors even noticed you. They were too busy cooing over the new babies,  but it made me feel better and if it makes you feel better, pack it! Wine gums – My midwives have always told me to have some wine gums or a similar sweets with you.   They give you a quick energy burst if you start to feel tired or weak during labour. Shampoo/bodywash/toothbrush and toothpaste – it always makes you feel better to have a good wash after delivery. Nipple pads – Obvs to prevent any leakages. Bikini top – Incase you fancy a water birth but don’t want to bear all in the tub 😉 Book/ magazines – Some labours can go on for a while so you might want to take something to occupy yourself. This is why I would try to stay at home as long as you can,  I find it easier to pass the time at home rather than in a hospital. Phone / Camera and charger – labour can take a while and let’s face it,  none of us can cope for too long without Facebook or Instagram! If you’re not as sad as me you will at least want your phone charged ready for pics of your gorgeous new bubba. While on the subject of photos, may I give you a word of advice? Get someone to take photos straight after delivery. It is the last thing you think of when pushing baby out but I have no pics of my first cuddle with my first four children. My photo with George I absolutly cherish, I look rough as anything and it is far from a glamorous selfie,but looking at it reminds me of that wonderful moment. It is a regret I have with my others, I was too concerned about how I looked to let anyone photo me! Newborn nappies –  4lb to 11lb usually covers all possibilities, whether you have a dinky dolly or a bigger beauty. Cotton Wool – you aren’t suppose to use baby wipes on newborn babies. You are told to use warm water and cotton wool.   I’m not going to lie,  at the risk of being told off, I never used cotton wool with my last two babies.   It’s fiddly and really awkward,  I use fragrance free baby wipes. Clothes– three vests, three babygrows, a hat and a cardigan/coat. Anticipate that you might be in hospital for a couple of days after the birth. That is unlikely, and even if you do have to stay in I am sure someone could bring in some extra clothes for you. Having said that, babies can make a mess quite easily so I would pack at least three of each anyway. I have always been told, the rule of thumb is, a baby should always wear one more layer of clothing than you.   So depending on the time of year your baby is due you may need a couple of extra layers. Blanket – to wrap your brand new bundle up in. Two bottles and formula – if you dont plan to breastfeed then take a couple of small bottles and carton / bottle of ready made formula.  my hospital provided both but just incase things are different at yours it’s best to be prepared. Car Seat – It’s easily forgotten when you are in a rush to get to hospital but don’t forget you will need a car seat to bring baby home in.  Some hospital won’t discharge you without one. Maternity pads– giving birth is a messy business!  my tip is to actually forget maternity pads and get incontinence pads from the supermarket,they are usually cheaper and….. The thicker the better. Imagine your heaviest period…the hours/days post birth is worse! Pjs– a nice clean set of maternity pajamas so that you are as comfortable as possible after baby is born. I love the Anita range, they are super comfortable but pretty with it. For a Homebirth: For a homebirth you will still need everything listed above. It is still best to have everything packed in a hospital bag,  just incase,  like me,  you have to dash to the hospital at the last minute. Birthing Pool– I loved my water/homebirth.   It was more simple than you would think to set up.  I used an Eco Pool which came with everything, I highly recommend it. https://www.birthpoolinabox.co.uk/home Just make sure you set it up early and close to a toilet /bathroom so you don’t have to walk around the house soaking wet. Four or Five Towels – preferably old towels so that you can just throw everything away afterwards but you can buy cheap towels from primark or tesco if not. Bin bags – to scoop everything up and throw away. Incontinence Bed Pads – you can buy these of Amazon,  they are so cheap and I used them for a couple of weeks after the births.   They save your bedclothes/mattress/sofa and if you have some left over,  put them in the cupboard and they come in useful if your darlings go through a bed-wetting stage! Paracetamol – it might sound silly but make sure you have some handy as those early contractions can be controlled by paracetamol and it will help you get a bit of sleep before showtime. Movies – Download a couple of good movies or box sets and have some music ready. Clean duvet covers and bed sheets – I always make sure I have a fresh bed set in my bedroom.   Whether I give birth in hospital or at home, there is nothing nicer than getting into a fresh bed with your new baby after you have showered and put your clean clothes on. This obviously isn’t essential,  just a good way of putting that ‘nesting’ energy you have a few days before birth to good use. For more natural pain relief options take a look at my other post If you have found this post useful or know someone who is expecting a baby please share this on your social media. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Baby One vs Baby Five

Baby One vs Baby Five

​ I’ve been thinking about how much I have changed from the first time mum of twins I was ten years ago to the mum of nearly six now.
This list worried me a bit,  and before you contemplate calling social services after reading this, George is the happiest baby I have ever known!

You tend to do so much different the second, third, fourth,  fifth and sixth time round 😱 Baby One : I started looking at buggies and cots when I was about 10 weeks pregnant.

Baby five: I dragged the dusty cot out of the loft on my due date. Buggy? I don’t have time for a buggy, I just strap baby to me and go!

_________________ Baby One: Book pregnancy massage at 30 weeks to relax.
Baby Five : Radox relaxing bubble bath while one child is talking to me whilst taking a dump on the loo and another throwing toys at my head. ___________________ Baby one : ‘oh wow, congratulations,  that is such wonderful news ‘ Baby Five: ‘ANOTHER ONE!?  you need to stop now!  Send him for the snip! _______________________ Baby One : Panic and Google everything about childbirth, gather as many stories as possible and hope your hospital stay is minimal. Baby Five : Not to worried about the pain,  more concerned how I will muster the energy to actually push the baby out. After two homebirths,  considering a hospital birth to blag a couple of peaceful days with my feet up being waited on.

_____________________ Baby One: Sterilise the sh*t out of everything, dummies,  bottles,  hubby’s hands…. Baby Five : Put the dummy in my mouth to clean it!  (come on,  I just watched the dog lick the babies hands and my five year old put her fingers in his mouth!)

_____________________ Baby One : Keep everyone away for a couple of days after the birth to recover,  when they do come,  hostess and act like the perfect, coping mum Baby Five : Invite as many people as possible over as soon as baby is born and go straight to bed to ensure you can buy enough ‘visitor baby hugs’ time to get a good couple of hours sleep. _____________________ Baby One : Boil wash every item of clothing prior to baby wearing it and clean bedclothes daily.

Baby Five : Wash at 30 degrees with the other kids clothes and only wash bed clothes when baby has been sick! Otherwise it falls in the general house rules of one wash a week! ______________________ Baby One : Buy every lotion, potion and gimic you can afford. Baby Five : Olive oil for cradle cap, lavender oil in the bath rather than the £10 bottle of lavender scented baby bath cream. Oh, and FYI, Calpol is exactly the same as the own brand baby paracetamol but triple the price. _____________________ Baby One : Two weeks post birth spent in hibernation. Baby Five : School run six hours later.

___________________ Baby One: Panic over the ‘ right ‘ time to start your baby on solids. Baby Five: Disregard the professionals and as soon as baby isn’t getting satisfied by milk the porridge comes out.

______________________ Baby One : Toddler groups three mornings a week. Baby Five: Organising coffee mornings around what coffee shop has  the best ‘kids area ‘

______________________ Baby One : Never take the babies to McDonald’s! They will only eat healthy, organic food including their 5-a-day until they are 9! Baby Five : Tried McDonald’s by nine months and even substituted the fruit for an apple strudel. ______________________ Baby One : 6.30pm bedtime,  no excuses. Boom!

Baby Five : It’s 8pm and the baby is watching Fresh Prince with the older kids. If the house is quiet why rock the boat?

____________________ Baby One : Plan toilet training like it is a military operation. Baby Five : Forget to put a nappy on the baby and realise after two days he has been using the potty in the corner. ______________________ Baby One : At one month old, researching primary schools, high schools and universities so that my angels can become the next prime minister, doctor or lawyer.

Baby Five : Now looking at high schools for real for the older kids. Primary school is already planned under the sibling rule and ive actually realised,  as long as they are happy and have good support, who cares what they are when they are older.

_______________________ Baby One : Baby gates everywhere! Can’t possibly risk baby falling down the stairs. Baby Five : Teach baby how to climb down stairs safely before he can even walk. ________________________ Baby One : Worry at 2pm that baby hasn’t had lunch and stop everything to make sure they have a suitable meal. Baby Five : At 2pm wonder if the two ginger biscuits and a mouthful of mud he had at the park is ok to pass for lunch.

______________________ Baby One : Perfect changing bag packed and full of baby necessities at all times. Baby Five : Two nappies in one pocket and baby wipes and a dummy in the other and off we go! _________________________ Baby One : If the baby starts creating in a restaurant,  stick by your guns,  ride the tantrum out and beam with pride when you win and other diners are patting you on the back.

Baby Five : Baby creates in a restaurant and you pass them the lemon from your g&t, a left over rib, order a chocole brownie or do just about anything they want just to shut them up…..then roll your eyes at the disapproving diners! 😂

Tips to help your labour

Tips to help your labour

​Before you read this, please remember,  I have been lucky enough to have straight forward births. I don’t want to come across ‘preachy’   This is what works for me and I wish, when I was pregnant with the twins,  someone had told me a good birth story rather than all the ‘Labour is the worst thing ever tales’ ‘ don’t envy you ‘ ‘ just take a much pain relief as you can ‘ It goes without saying if you need pain relief, take it, don’t be a martyr. But equally there are ways of coping without it that no one tells you about. Two tips I wish someone had told me are these …. Firstly, usually,  when the pain gets bad,  so bad you don’t think you can carry on,  you will be nearly ready to push…. You are moments away from meeting your baby so don’t panic,  you are nearly there! And two…. Never, let anyone force you to stay in a laying down position unless medically necessary. I was basically strapped to the hospital bed with the twins as I was classed as ‘ high risk ‘ and because they were my first babies I did exactly what I was told!  Ten years later, I don’t think they encourage laying down as much anymore. It is an unnatural position to birth in (imagine trying to poo standing on your head). It will make the contractions more painful (alot more painful!) and the labour last longer. Follow your bodies Instinct, walk around,  dance,  rock, bend over but try to avoid laying down. I think this is why I was determined to take control of my next birth and opted to have it at home. I ended up giving birth to Charlie on my hands and knees because it just felt right at the time. I have a few rituals to get me through labour and make it as easy as possible. Everyone who knows me will know I’m not exactly a hippie but when it comes to labour I have a very free spirit attitude. Your baby has to come out one way or another so try to stay positive,  as scary as it is, and as daunting as it can be, try to embrace it. Maybe try some of these….. Bath – A hot (but not too hot)  bath is great during labour.   I tend to run a bath for every ailment I have,  whether its a cold, period pains,  stress, back ache or a headache. Add a few drops of your essential oils, concentrate on your breathing and prepare for what’s coming. Raspberry Leaf Tea – I love this!!!  Well…. I think I love it!  I can drink it all day, everyday towards the end of my pregnancies, but once I am baby free, it gets chucked to the back of my cupboard never to been seen again….. Until the next pregnancy. I wonder if it is a mental thing? Something I associate with the end of a pregnancy perhaps? Soothing? Anyway… It’s purpose is to strengthen and tone the muscles around your uterus and help with a steady,  progressive labour. I have drank it in every pregnancy from about 32 weeks. Because I have drank it everytime I couldn’t tell you if it has helped towards quick labours or not, but I have always been blessed with shorter labours and very quick transition stages. I dilate from 4-5 cm to 10cm and start pushing in under half an hour. Maybe the raspberry leaf tea contributes to this,  maybe it doesn’t but give it a go anyway! You can buy it online or from Holland and Barrett. Make sure you start drinking it early (but not before 32 weeks). Clary sage oil I love essential oils and find them really helpful throughout pregnancy. Clary Sage helps with pain and stress relief and smells gorgeous. During the early stages of labour I put a few drops into my bath and soak for a while. I also put a couple of drops onto a wet flannel to use as the contractions get stronger. I know some women add a couple of drops to a carrier oil and let there partner massage them with it. This would never work for me because if Mike tried to massage me during labour I would be likely to smash him in the face! I sometimes I add a couple of drops of frankincense too, it is a calming essential oil and I find it works great with clary sage for me. It is important to know that you should not use Clary Sage during your pregnancy as it can bring on contractions. Tens machine– Tens machines seem to be like marmite, some girls love it and some hate it. It is honestly a huge part of my pain relief during labour. I can’t tell you that it completely takes the pain away but it certainly dulls it and gives me something to focus on. It works by placing some sticky pads to your back which are attached to a small hand held machine by long wires. Small electrical pulses are sent through the machine to the patches and block the feeling of pain going to your brain.  It also helps stimulate natural endorphins (pain relief) in your body. You feel a vibrating sensation on your back and you can control how strong the electrical pulse is through your machine. When your contractions first start you strap it on and just need to use a low pulse. Then,  as your labour and contractions progress you will push for higher and higher pulses. Once it feels like it isn’t helping that’s when I jump in the birthing pool and am usually not far from pushing. Birthing ball– Not only are birthing balls great to help back pain during pregnancy it is great for labour. During the early – middle of labour I sit on it and rock gently backwards and forwards,  rotating my hips, it really helps with pain and labour ‘fidgets’ i can’t sit still! Good movie / box set – There is no point racing to the hospital as soon as your first Contraction is felt.   Quite often it can be false labour but even if it is the real thing it can take quite a while. I find it much better for pain relief and comfort to spend as much of my labour at home as possible. Once I know it’s the real thing I put on a good movie and try to relax. During Charlies labour I watched Date Night, during Libbys I put on The Sweetest Thing and with George I was watching Louis Theroux documentries! Candles – All girls love candles,  I don’t really need to say more.   It’s about creating a calming atmosphere.  Dim lights, flickering candles all helps with calming and clearing your mind. Again,  you could add some oils to an oil burner  to perfume the air with some clary sage,  lavender,  ginger or frankincense. Music – Having music on in the background as delivery time approaches can be uplifting, encouraging and inspiring. Birthing Pool – During my first two labours I point blank refused to use a birthing pool.   The thought of sitting in a pool of your own blood and bodily fluids totally grossed me out. I only used one with Libby out of pure curiosity. I had done the hospital birth, I had done the homebirth so now I wanted to try out a waterbirth! I bought an Ecopool online,  the whole lot was about £110 and it was so easy to use. I would always insist on a waterbirth now,  the difference in pain at transition (pushing)  is massive. There is also something really special about holding your baby for the first time in a relaxing pool of warm water (plus it cleans them… Bonus!) It also allowed me to be in a position with Libby and George where I felt more in control of delivering them, reaching down when they come out and pulling them to you rather than baby being handed to you by your midwife. It is really important for me to say, after telling you all this, do what is right for you.   If you need a c-section for whatever reason or you have an epidural then that’s the way for you,  if I can’t handle things with my next birth I will have no problem calling for an epidural! The main thing is for baby to come into the world as stress free and healthy as possible and for mum to be the same. Do you have any tips for pain/stress relief during labour? Now I’ve wrote this all down let’s hope that baby number six, due in April, comes as smoothly as possible. Wish me luck xxx