Jet Lag

Jet Lag

And so it has arrived…. Jet lag day! George has been sleeping on and off all day and this evening I’ve started to check for the 666. It’s like my front door is the gates to Hell.

Libby has been asleep all day and just woken up (11.25pm) and she is now in the most aggravating mood. So far I have been followed around the house half crying,  half winging, nagging at me about the most ridiculous things ‘ I’m not sleeping on my own! ‘ (feet stamping) ‘ where is my candy floss?! ‘
‘ I’ll get my TV and put it in your room ‘

‘ you didn’t even get all my friends at school a present from America’

‘I hate America’

‘ where is my candy floss!? ‘

‘ Why did we have to come home!? ‘

‘I love my house’

‘I hate my house ‘

‘ Where is my candy floss?’

‘Im not sleeping,  ever! ‘

‘I want your phone ‘

‘I want dad’s phone ‘

‘I don’t know know where to sleep,my room is scary ‘

‘ when am I having a sleepover with my friends?’

‘ you promised me we could make fairy cakes’ (I didn’t)

‘I’m so starving, do you even care!? ‘ then continues to say no to everything I offer her…..
I’ve just agreed to something either genius or seriously bloody stupid. Seeings as my two youngest are driving me mad,  ive let Libby sleep with George so they can keep eachother amused and aggravate eachother.

Meanwhile, the the older boys have been asleep since 3pm this afternoon.   Will they sleep through? our can I expect them awake in a couple of hours????
It’s not all bad,  I get to look forward to the school run in the morning 😣

My Mumcation

My Mumcation

Psychologists have suggested that mothers should take holidays with friends, not family – and this includes leaving the children behind. Experts are urging tired mothers to go on “mum-cations”, holidays without their offspring, to take a proper break.‘ With this in mind, me and three of my closest girlfriends booked a ‘mumcation’ to Vilamoura for a few days in October. A few people asked me if the weather was going to be any good in Portugal that time if year, as if we were crazy not to follow the blazing sun. These people had totally missed the point of a mumcation. Of corse good weather would be preferable, but honestly, if i could go to the toilet on my own, sleep without someones foot digging in my boobs and sit down by a pool without worrying who is going to drown/get abducted or piss off fellow vacationers, I would be a happy girl. This weekend was more than a girls weekend, It was therapy and It gave me a chance to really relax and unwind. When you become a mum your life revolves around these little people (rightly so), but we all need to keep our individual identity and take time out for ourselves, it is a huge factor to how I cope as a mum. Whether it is a night out with Mike, drinks with the girls or a shopping trip entirely on my own, it is my time out. It is my chance to clear my head of football training, horse riding, boxing, school pick up, kids parties, laundry, dinner etc and focus on me. The morning we left I felt a complete mixture of emotions. I have been away on my own before, but not abroad since our two youngest have been born. Let me picture the morning I left for Portugal for you….. ‘George, Arthur, come here, give me a kiss, I am going to miss you so much’ *GEORGE EMPTIES BUCKET OF LEGO ON MY BEDROOM CARPET* ‘FFS George!!! This is why i need a break’ ‘George I am sorry, come here and give me a kiss’ *ARTHUR POURS THE CONTENTS OF MY COLD COFFEE OVER MY BED* ……..’Rosie, how long are you going to be? I know the flight is in 8 hours but we dont want to risk missing it’ From the moment Rosie picked me up to when she dropped me back to my door four days later, I did not stop laughing! We talked about everything, nothing was off the table. We talked about our kids, our partners and our friends, we discussed designer vaginas, sex and how to make a Wood pigeon call with your tounge. We did eachothers make up and hair and shared eachothers clothes. We people watched and ate great food (without a high chair or childrens menu in sight!) We shared secrets and drank, we drank lots! We danced every night until the early hours and the one day the weather was bit ‘meh’ we found a great shopping mall and we shopped. I picked up a couple of treats for the kids snd a little something for me…. (do you like my new boots?) I managed to read a whole book! From start to finish, in one weekend. If you don’t have kids, this may seem ridiculous, if you do you kids, well, you know. Guess what else I did? And I haven’t done this since I was about 21….. I had an afternoon nap! A siesta if you will. Not because I had just given birth or because I dozed off breast feeding a baby, but because I consciously chose to! Another thing. I have never enjoyed a hangover so much. Knowing you can eat, drink and sleep your way through it without having to make food for little ones, read stories and change nappies makes a hangover so much easier to bear. I can only describe the weekend as Bad Moms meets The Hangover with a drizzle of bridesmaids. It was bliss…utter bliss and I owe my girls so much for being the perfect friends. Their laid back natures ment there were no tantrums, no arguments and by the time we were due to come home I felt so ready to see Mike and the kids and be ‘mum’ again. I urge you to try it! Book something up! It doesnt have to expensive, it doesnt have to be abroad. A weekend in Portugal cost us £250 each (plus spending money). Easyjet flights were £150 return from Gatwick to Faro and our apartment at The Dom Pedro Portobelo was right on the marina where all the bars and restaurants are. It comfortably accomodated the four of us and cost £100 each for the four nights. I asked some fellow mum blogger what their opinionon ‘Mumcations’ is, here is what they had to say: Rebecca at I haven’t had one and I’m.not sure I could. I’d love to, in theory. I could definitely use a break. But I think I’d feel too guilty if I went away for more than a day without the twins. I think I’d miss them. Jenna at ‘I’ve had some! I met an amazing bunch of ladies on a birth group on Facebook and we arrange a couple of weekend breaks a year. We’ve booked a farmhouse in north wales, various city stays and are going to see the Spice Girls next year. I definitely think they’re needed.’ Francessca at ‘I’ve been on hen do’s and also my honeymoon without my daughter. With the honeymoon we went to Mexico which you can’t just pop over for, but I said I would not go for longer than 10 days. I missed her but she had a great time with her grandparents. I was never close to my grandparents so I’m happy for her to spend time with them. I think it’s healthy for both you and the kids. I always take my daughter away every year now though since splitting up with my ex-husband.’ Gail at ‘Still can’t do more than a night away from my 4 year old. I think we would both struggle after 24 hours!’ Victoria at ‘I haven’t yet, but I think in a couple of years once my youngest is at school then I’d love to go on a yoga retreat by myself! They look like bliss and even now with a 6 year old and 3 year old I feel like I could really do with some time to myself and a break for a few days to a retreat!’

10 things I love vs 10 things I hate about pregnancy  

10 things I love vs 10 things I hate about pregnancy  

I am linking up today with Parent Blogs Elite Linky #1 with Jenny at Because I have spent nearly four of the last ten years pregnant people assume I must love it. It’s not so much about loving it as trying to embrace it and making the most of it.   It is after all a blessing. Having said that,  like everyone I know all to well it’s good and bad points…. I have noted a few below: LOVE 💗:

1) Obvs being able to eat tonnes of chocolate without feeling guilty and weighing myself 10 minutes later.

2) Not going out, You always have the perfect excuse to blow someone out! Yes I am saying that!  There are times when you are pregnant when no excuse is needed…. You just don’t fancy it!

3) No 2, same rules apply for the bedroom 😜 

4) No hangovers, it’s rubbish watching other people get trollied without you but something empowering about being the only sober one, mentally noting all the Sh#t everyone is talking.

5) Those lovely little kicks that remind you something so special is happening inside you.

6) Planning for your new arrival, preparing the nursery, collecting and washing new baby clothes and enjoying the serene room you have created before your little bundle of pooping and crying joy arrives to cause carnage.

7) Not having to explain yourself if you decide to take an afternoon nap or go to bed at 5.30pm.  That NEVER happens to me with five children but you first time mums know what I’m talking about! 

8) The waddle….come on,  this should go in ‘Hates’ but you can use it to your advantage.  If exaggerated just right you can pretty much get anyone to do anything you want.   eg, I might offer… ‘ would you like a cup of tea guy’s’ ‘oh lovely,  thanks ‘ (cue me, struggling to get up out of my seat followed by a pro-waddle for a few steps, stop,take a deep breath……) ‘kate, sit back down hun,  I’ll do it ‘ ‘are you sure,  I don’t mind ‘😜 …waddle back a bit quicker to my seat 😂

9) Playing the labour game with your other half and friends. After about 35 weeks, every now and then, let out a quick loud ‘labour’ groan. Their faces are priceless! Mike never fails to jump 5 foot in the air and scream ‘what,what, is this it!? ‘ 😂😂….. ‘oh, no, false alarm  While you’re up babe could you do me a cuppa and a cheese and ham toastie, cheers ‘ 😉 

10) The closeness it brings us as a family.   I love laying on the sofa with Libby’s head on my tummy,  the boys asking if the baby and I are OK and talking about all the exciting things that are going to happen over the next few weeks.

Hate: 😣 1) Putting on weight so quickly you forgot what you look like pre baby making. Pregnancy brings a whole new meaning to ‘i don’t have anything to wear ‘. Unless I want to spend £100’s on maternity clothes that make me look like pat butcher! Jeggings, leggings,  baggy jumpers and t shirts is my wardrobe for 9 months. My mother in law owns a lingerie shop and her first words to me as soon as we announce we are pregnant is ‘ your not wearing an underwire are u?’ Apparently that is really bad for a pregnant/nursing mum so she gives me a few really comfortable but totally unflattering maternity bras. 

2) Mental hormones, last week I was in the car with mike and the kids when they said something that made me laugh.  My laugh turned from a Giggle to hysterical laughing to hysterical crying within 30 seconds.  It was so crazy the kids were getting scared and I couldn’t calm down to tell them not to worry. Mike was looking at me like I was something from the exorcist which made me laugh and cry even more. When we got home the kids Sent me to bed and told me ‘ you need some rest, you’re not normal ‘

3) Heartburn, it’s just constant and I drink more milk than my new born will at the moment.

4) Sleepless nights,  everyone associates sleep deprivation with a newborn but no one tells you about the 3 months of broken sleep you will get in your third trimester. If it’s not a full bladder it’s restless legs, aching back or vivid, nasty dreams. Guarenteed, at least once in every pregnancy I have a dream Mike cheated on me.   They are so vivid I wake up, snarl and ignore him for the rest of the day!

5) piles – say no more

6) No botox or cosmetic procedures – I have aged 4 years in 6 months!

7) Lack of energy, as I lay here, writing this Its 9.07am, George is in bed with me but I should be up getting some washing and housework done.  

8) Food… alcohol, no yummy cheese,  no pate, no shellfish, no liver, no runny eggs, no coffee, no sushi and ironically, guess what my cravings are!?  😠 

9) That stage of pregnancy when you don’t look pregnant but there is no doubt you are packing a few more pounds….  Urgh! Do you have any Loves or Hates of pregnancy to add? I would love to hear.

Family Movie Nights 🎥

Family Movie Nights

Who doesn’t love Disney movies!? I could watch them day after day…… Oh, hold on,  that’s exactly what i have been doing for the last nine years!  Given my babies ages (11 months. 5, 7 and two 9 year olds) I have been on the ‘disney, cebebeies, baby TV and Mr bloody Tumble’ channel for nearly a decade.  So,  people may judge me when they hear i have been embracing the twins impending teenage years by introducing them to some of MY favourite movies.  Some have been a hit, some haven’t, some appropriate, some maybe not,  but I’ve had a blast sharing my old favs with them.  Pauly Shore is a bit of an unknown name in the UK, but growing up,  his movies were amongst some of my favourites. California Man, Bio-dome, son in law and In the Army Now are great movies for my boys.  They think he is one of the funniest people alive (besides Mr Bean).  Stand by Me was our Friday night movie recently.  It was a really lovely evening as Mike and I were as excited to sit down and watch it as they were. They found it quite emotional (when Gordie’s brother dies and when they tell stories about their family lives) but the ‘leech scene’ and all the swearing made up for it! FYI,  a little trivia I found out while writing this blog, did you know,  Vern in Stand by Me has grown into Jerry O’connell, who has been in Scream 2, Mistresses, Billions and Jerry Maguire! Who’d have guessed that!  I don’t worry about them watching movies that use profanity anymore.    They know what they are allowed to say and what they aren’t and I trust their manners….

Plus, they probably hear worse at home anyway! Beetlejuice is now on their favourite list aswell as mine, along with Goonies, National Lampoons Vacation, Big, The Great Outdoors,  Overboard, The Ernest Movies,  Gremlins, Jaws, Mannequin, Parenthood, Return to Oz…I could go on.  One choice that was very controversial in our house, and, I won’t lie, was Mikes choice for a movie night.  His all time favourite movie,  FOREST GUMP!!!! Now,  this movie is PG rated which was his argument for letting Mikey and Harri watch it. However,  I don’t think he took into account the various scenarios this movie involves. 

I found it the most painful 6 hours of my life (that is how long the movie goes on for isn’t it?  No? It f#@king felt like it!) 
Cringing at every scene i knew would be followed by an awkward question 
‘ mum why is Forest making funny noises after his teacher visits his mum ‘
‘urgh why is jenny making him touch her boob!?’
‘ why is jenny running away from her dad?’
But, the boys absolutely loved it,  Harrison asks me daily to watch it again. 
The adult themes went over their head but the emotional rollercoaster really swept them away. 
They are memorised with the whole movie,  Forest, his relationships with family and friends,  his comic manner, his constant need to please,  protect and love. 
I feel,  in hindsight,  it was a great movie choice for them that taught them things I certainly couldnt.
And it opened the door for me to test some other movies such as Olympus has Fallen,  London has fallen,  San Andreas, Outbreak 😱, Salt, Planet of the Apes.
So in short, now. When we have ‘a family movie night ‘ I can be in the room with them mentally aswell as physically, watching with general interest rather than staring blankly at the TV because I’m watching Toy Story, Frozen or Horrid ba#@ard Henry for the 1000th time! 
Don’t worry George…… I’ll still sit through all the crap for you 😘

Sleepover without the ‘sleep’

Sleepover Without The Sleep

My father in law looked at me totally baffled yesterday as he was trying to work out exactly which children were staying at my house and which werent. Two of my kids had stayed at my friend, Rosies the previous night and she had just turned up to drop them off. In the mean time another friend, Claire was leaving my house. ‘ I’m taking Charlie!’ she shouted ‘ok, leave Caolan with me !’ I yelled back. Rosie then went to leave,  turned to her two girls and told them to be good and she would see them in the morning. I could see my father in law trying to work it out like a tricky maths question.  You know the ones,  if three men got in the boat,  one fell out and they pick up four, how many are left in the boat? ‘so who is here?’ he asked ‘ Mikey,  Harri, Libby, Darcie, Sydney, Callan and George ‘ He looked totally bemused, I’m not sure if it was the casual way we had swapped children like handbags or the fact I had seven children for the night.  😂😂😂 They all made a camp in the living room and went to sleep. …..our at least I thought they had. I woke up to a text from a friend of mine ‘ Mikey on Insta at 1am 😂’ Along with a pic of her INSTAGRAM with Mikey liking her photo at 1am!


Feeling sorry for myself 

Feeling sorry for myself 

​Day one of feeling like s#;t Today has been a struggle.   I’m not ill very often but I seem to be paying for that now. My throat feels like razor blades, my nose is either running or completly blocked, my ears are aching and my head is thumping. Every body movement feels like hard work. As a mum you’re not allowed to be poorly,   let alone with five of the little cherubs! There is no point even moaning about my ailments to Mike because everytime I try to explain to him how I feel ,  he has it,  but worse! After I took the kids to school this morning I tried to get on with some housework but I got distracted….. Friends turned up with cake! I spent all day moving from the sofa to the coffee machine and back again and catching up on the latest gossip. Once the kids had been picked up I thought I would try and pep myself up having a hot bath and face mask – it didn’t help. After my soak it was back to mum duties.  Mikey had his first rehearsal for a show he is in in the summer. I could have had two hours of peace and quiet while I wait for him to finish,  but I agreed Libby could come. Instead I spent two hours running around Reigate trying to find baby wipes so that I  could wipe the sushi she dropped all over mikes car! I’m in now,  nurafen taken,  hemroid cream under my eyes (for the puffiness) and a bowl of cornflakes because I forgot to have dinner 🙊 It’s not all bad,  did I mention im in bed, blogging and watching Snatch!? Day two if feeling like s?;t Nope,  Definatly not feeling better today but it’s all good because I don’t have anything to do today! ……..oh no sorry, that’s someone else’s life!  Today I am helping at Libbys school trip! I honestly couldnt think of anything I would least like to do when I feel like this than spend a day with 30 reception children, but how could I let her down? picture of me today!!!!) As it happens we had a really good day,  the kids were fantastic and I loved spending quality time with Libby and her friends. After school my day went like this : 4pm. Business meeting 6pm drop off to tutor 6.30.(treat myself to a manicure!) 7.30 pick up from tutor PICK UP KEBAB FOR EVERYONE 8.30 home 8.45 pour a large wine and Blog! Right,  now I’m in bed with soup hoping tomorrow I feel better. Note to anyone reading this who haven’t had children yet – if you are ill,  enjoy it,  once you have kids,  being ill isn’t an excuse to spend all day on the sofa watching box sets!…..  S#;T GETS REAL!



​So this weekend something happened that will change my sex life for the next 20 years. After telling the kids to ‘shhhhhhh’ for the 58th time in the six berth camper we had hired for the weekend, finally silence fell. …..until Harrison asked loudly, in a disgusted tone: ‘urgh, are you two having  S….E……X!? Because of you are having  S…..E……X. You need to stop.  It’s just gross, with your kids here,  close those curtains,  this is grossing me out!’ 😱😰😳😩😫😭 What the fu#k!? Firstly we actually were not having sex, any grunting noises had come as a result of me clambering up the shit#ing ladder to get into the coffin style bed above the drivers seats. Secondly, the space from our bed to the ceiling was about half a foot, i could barely turn over let alone anything else!! Thirdly…..I was too tired 😜 So the next morning I questioned harri on what is S….E…..X? His answer…. ‘its when a man and lady are naked in bed, kissing and making noises’ who was rocking the caravan last night?’ I had to think on my feet. ‘oh,  i thought you were asleep (true!)  there were some naughty boys outside pushing our caravan.  Did you hear dad go out and shout at them?’ ‘no, but thank God for that,  I thought it was you two having S….E….X.  i hope those boys don’t come back tonight! ‘ No fear of that son…they have well and truley got the message😒 So we are now looking for locks to put on our bedroom door and I’m trying to work out how to approach the proper birds and bee’s talk with them …..wish me luck! 

My little man

My little man

I’ve been finding it hard to blog lately. Since George turned one he up’ed his game massivly. He has gone from a quiet little baby who sits contently playing in his playpen (or cage to you that know us well) to a walking,  talking, shouting Hitler whos day consists of eating,  tipping up the dogs water bowl,  eating some more,  shitting and then eating again. Happy times though,  He has started saying my name! It’s so cute! He hasn’t learned that whine yet, He just walks around saying ‘ mum, mum, mum, mum ‘ Let’s see how long that little novelty lasts before the sound ‘mum’ has me scratching at my eyes!

When my babies are born i always make the mistake of strutting around with my beautiful new baby telling everyone how lucky I am that he is so good. This was true,  he was good,  most babies are when all they do is sleep,  drink milk and poo. It’s when they start crawling/walking and learning the art of manipulation that things start to change. When I had the twins I used to take a high and mighty ‘i will not give in ‘ approach……not anymore. George wants chocolate,  I say no,  George screams,  I give him the chocolate. …..bad, bad mum that aside, I am loving every precious moment with my number five. He is growing into a sweet, funny and affectionate little boy, just like his big brothers USED to be🙈. I am so excited to see what he makes of his new little brother when he arrives.

Baby One vs Baby Five

Baby One vs Baby Five

I’ve been thinking about how much I have changed from the first time mum of twins I was ten years ago to the mum of nearly six now. This list worried me a bit,  and before you contemplate calling social services after reading this, George is the happiest baby I have ever known! You tend to do so much different the second, third, fourth,  fifth and sixth time round 😱 Baby One : I started looking at buggies and cots when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. Baby five: I dragged the dusty cot out of the loft on my due date. Buggy? I don’t have time for a buggy, I just strap baby to me and go! _________________ Baby One: Book pregnancy massage at 30 weeks to relax. Baby Five : Radox relaxing bubble bath while one child is talking to me whilst taking a dump on the loo and another throwing toys at my head. ___________________ Baby one : ‘oh wow, congratulations,  that is such wonderful news ‘ Baby Five: ‘ANOTHER ONE!?  you need to stop now!  Send him for the snip! _______________________ Baby One : Panic and Google everything about childbirth, gather as many stories as possible and hope your hospital stay is minimal. Baby Five : Not to worried about the pain,  more concerned how I will muster the energy to actually push the baby out. After two homebirths,  considering a hospital birth to blag a couple of peaceful days with my feet up being waited on. _____________________ Baby One: Sterilise the sh*t out of everything, dummies,  bottles,  hubby’s hands…. Baby Five : Put the dummy in my mouth to clean it!  (come on,  I just watched the dog lick the babies hands and my five year old put her fingers in his mouth!) _____________________ Baby One : Keep everyone away for a couple of days after the birth to recover,  when they do come,  hostess and act like the perfect, coping mum Baby Five : Invite as many people as possible over as soon as baby is born and go straight to bed to ensure you can buy enough ‘visitor baby hugs’ time to get a good couple of hours sleep. _____________________ Baby One : Boil wash every item of clothing prior to baby wearing it and clean bedclothes daily. Baby Five : Wash at 30 degrees with the other kids clothes and only wash bed clothes when baby has been sick! Otherwise it falls in the general house rules of one wash a week! ______________________ Baby One : Buy every lotion, potion and gimic you can afford. Baby Five : Olive oil for cradle cap, lavender oil in the bath rather than the £10 bottle of lavender scented baby bath cream. Oh, and FYI, Calpol is exactly the same as the own brand baby paracetamol but triple the price. _____________________ Baby One : Two weeks post birth spent in hibernation. Baby Five : School run six hours later. ___________________ Baby One: Panic over the ‘ right ‘ time to start your baby on solids. Baby Five: Disregard the professionals and as soon as baby isn’t getting satisfied by milk the porridge comes out. ______________________ Baby One : Toddler groups three mornings a week. Baby Five: Organising coffee mornings around what coffee shop has  the best ‘kids area ‘ ______________________ Baby One : Never take the babies to McDonald’s! They will only eat healthy, organic food including their 5-a-day until they are 9! Baby Five : Tried McDonald’s by nine months and even substituted the fruit for an apple strudel. ______________________ Baby One : 6.30pm bedtime,  no excuses. Boom! Baby Five : It’s 8pm and the baby is watching Fresh Prince with the older kids. If the house is quiet why rock the boat? ____________________ Baby One : Plan toilet training like it is a military operation. Baby Five : Forget to put a nappy on the baby and realise after two days he has been using the potty in the corner. ______________________ Baby One : At one month old, researching primary schools, high schools and universities so that my angels can become the next prime minister, doctor or lawyer. Baby Five : Now looking at high schools for real for the older kids. Primary school is already planned under the sibling rule and ive actually realised,  as long as they are happy and have good support, who cares what they are when they are older. _______________________ Baby One : Baby gates everywhere! Can’t possibly risk baby falling down the stairs. Baby Five : Teach baby how to climb down stairs safely before he can even walk. ________________________ Baby One : Worry at 2pm that baby hasn’t had lunch and stop everything to make sure they have a suitable meal. Baby Five : At 2pm wonder if the two ginger biscuits and a mouthful of mud he had at the park is ok to pass for lunch. ______________________ Baby One : Perfect changing bag packed and full of baby necessities at all times. Baby Five : Two nappies in one pocket and baby wipes and a dummy in the other and off we go! _________________________ Baby One : If the baby starts creating in a restaurant,  stick by your guns,  ride the tantrum out and beam with pride when you win and other diners are patting you on the back. Baby Five : Baby creates in a restaurant and you pass them the lemon from your g&t, a left over rib, order a chocole brownie or do just about anything they want just to shut them up…..then roll your eyes at the disapproving diners! 😂