What a week

What A Week

What a draining and eventful week. Not only for me, but the whole country! Britain voted to leave the EU! Who saw that coming? Ironically, the remainers are accusing the leavers of dividing Britain. Although, it is this attitude that I believe is making a divide. Don’t get me wrong, I am as nervous as everyone but the backlash has disappointed me slightly. Ever the optimist, I would have liked to think that now is time to come together and make our children’s futures as great as we can. Anyway, enough of politics, I’m sick of it! After spending Friday night celebrating a friends hen do I spent all day yesterday on the sofa. I haven’t had a hangover like that since I was 21! What was I thinking!? Surely the fifth sambuca shot should have been enough! I have no business behaving like that now, I’m a mum of five!…. F#@k it, it’s because I’m a mum of five I behave like that! Saturday night I watched Anthony Joshua defended his title without breaking a sweat and Adele had me in tears watching her at Glastonbury. George is teething badly at the moment. Our house has a constant moan in the background, poor little mite! Calpol has been stocked up and the powder that looks like cocaine wraps. To finish the weekend we have spent a lovely day at the school fete. Reminding me of everything I love about British tradition, spending a overcast summer afternoon with family and friends, drinking pimms and playing Tombola!

Feeling sorry for myself 

Feeling sorry for myself 

​Day one of feeling like s#;t Today has been a struggle.   I’m not ill very often but I seem to be paying for that now. My throat feels like razor blades, my nose is either running or completly blocked, my ears are aching and my head is thumping. Every body movement feels like hard work. As a mum you’re not allowed to be poorly,   let alone with five of the little cherubs! There is no point even moaning about my ailments to Mike because everytime I try to explain to him how I feel ,  he has it,  but worse! After I took the kids to school this morning I tried to get on with some housework but I got distracted….. Friends turned up with cake! I spent all day moving from the sofa to the coffee machine and back again and catching up on the latest gossip. Once the kids had been picked up I thought I would try and pep myself up having a hot bath and face mask – it didn’t help. After my soak it was back to mum duties.  Mikey had his first rehearsal for a show he is in in the summer. I could have had two hours of peace and quiet while I wait for him to finish,  but I agreed Libby could come. Instead I spent two hours running around Reigate trying to find baby wipes so that I  could wipe the sushi she dropped all over mikes car! I’m in now,  nurafen taken,  hemroid cream under my eyes (for the puffiness) and a bowl of cornflakes because I forgot to have dinner 🙊 It’s not all bad,  did I mention im in bed, blogging and watching Snatch!? Day two if feeling like s?;t Nope,  Definatly not feeling better today but it’s all good because I don’t have anything to do today! ……..oh no sorry, that’s someone else’s life!  Today I am helping at Libbys school trip! I honestly couldnt think of anything I would least like to do when I feel like this than spend a day with 30 reception children, but how could I let her down? picture of me today!!!!) As it happens we had a really good day,  the kids were fantastic and I loved spending quality time with Libby and her friends. After school my day went like this : 4pm. Business meeting 6pm drop off to tutor 6.30.(treat myself to a manicure!) 7.30 pick up from tutor PICK UP KEBAB FOR EVERYONE 8.30 home 8.45 pour a large wine and Blog! Right,  now I’m in bed with soup hoping tomorrow I feel better. Note to anyone reading this who haven’t had children yet – if you are ill,  enjoy it,  once you have kids,  being ill isn’t an excuse to spend all day on the sofa watching box sets!…..  S#;T GETS REAL!

Rumbled! 

Rumbled

​So this weekend something happened that will change my sex life for the next 20 years. After telling the kids to ‘shhhhhhh’ for the 58th time in the six berth camper we had hired for the weekend, finally silence fell. …..until Harrison asked loudly, in a disgusted tone: ‘urgh, are you two having  S….E……X!? Because of you are having  S…..E……X. You need to stop.  It’s just gross, with your kids here,  close those curtains,  this is grossing me out!’ 😱😰😳😩😫😭 What the fu#k!? Firstly we actually were not having sex, any grunting noises had come as a result of me clambering up the shit#ing ladder to get into the coffin style bed above the drivers seats. Secondly, the space from our bed to the ceiling was about half a foot, i could barely turn over let alone anything else!! Thirdly…..I was too tired 😜 So the next morning I questioned harri on what is S….E…..X? His answer…. ‘its when a man and lady are naked in bed, kissing and making noises’ who was rocking the caravan last night?’ I had to think on my feet. ‘oh,  i thought you were asleep (true!)  there were some naughty boys outside pushing our caravan.  Did you hear dad go out and shout at them?’ ‘no, but thank God for that,  I thought it was you two having S….E….X.  i hope those boys don’t come back tonight! ‘ No fear of that son…they have well and truley got the message😒 So we are now looking for locks to put on our bedroom door and I’m trying to work out how to approach the proper birds and bee’s talk with them …..wish me luck! 

Modern Mum of five….. Soon to be six 

Modern Mum of five..... Soon to be six 

​​So here I am,  34, mum of five and pregnant again with number six.  When I found out I was pregnant my first concern was not ‘ how will I cope!? ‘ ‘ do we have enough space? ‘ ‘ will we afford it? ‘ My main worry was ‘ what will people say!? ‘ How wrong is that!? So let me start by saying : -We own our own home and have never claimed benefits -We do own a TV  but we just can’t keep our hands off eachother!  😘 -I don’t spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle (although it is a guilty pleasure when I have 5 minutes) -My kids are always dressed in clean clothes (most of the time) -They all go to school and are very studious. -They all have extra curricular activities and yes it does cost a fortune but we make it work. My kids also… -Are slightly feral and spend alot of their time in the garden or fields,  building dens and climbing trees -help me with housework and help with their younger siblings -Know how to share with eachother and other people -Protect and look out for eachother So to summarise, yes it’s hard work,  yes it’s expensive,  yes we are a little bit crazy, But we are so happy!!!!! When we told the children they were absolutely delighted. the last month they have gained 4 new cows,  3 new sheep, chickens and a baby brother or sister….. Life is never dull! Libby of corse is hoping for a little sister, but as long as it’s healthy (and sleeps through the night from day one 😉) im not fussed either way. You might understand now why my blogs have taken a back step the last few weeks.   Everytime I have sat down to write one my eyes close and I am out for the count. As my first trimester comes to an end my energy levels will be back on track im sure.  Thanks everyone for your messages,  it’s great to hear so many of you have been enjoying my blogs. Love to you all xxxxx

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Modern Mum of five….. Soon to be six 

Modern Mum of five..... Soon to be six 

​​So here I am,  34, mum of five and pregnant again with number six. When I found out I was pregnant my first concern was not ‘ how will I cope!? ‘ ‘ do we have enough space? ‘ ‘ will we afford it? ‘ My main worry was ‘ what will people say!? ‘ How wrong is that!? So let me start by saying : -We own our own home and have never claimed benefits -We do own a TV  but we just can’t keep our hands off eachother!  😘 -I don’t spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle (although it is a guilty pleasure when I have 5 minutes) -My kids are always dressed in clean clothes (most of the time) -They all go to school and are very studious. -They all have extra curricular activities and yes it does cost a fortune but we make it work. My kids also… -Are slightly feral and spend alot of their time in the garden or fields,  building dens and climbing trees -help me with housework and help with their younger siblings -Know how to share with eachother and other people -Protect and look out for eachother So to summarise, yes it’s hard work,  yes it’s expensive,  yes we are a little bit crazy, But we are so happy!!!!! When we told the children they were absolutely delighted. In the last month they have gained 4 new cows,  3 new sheep, chickens and a baby brother or sister….. Life is never dull! Libby of corse is hoping for a little sister, but as long as it’s healthy (and sleeps through the night from day one 😉) im not fussed either way. You might understand now why my blogs have taken a back step the last few weeks.   Everytime I have sat down to write one my eyes close and I am out for the count. As my first trimester comes to an end my energy levels will be back on track im sure. Thanks everyone for your messages,  it’s great to hear so many of you have been enjoying my blogs. Love to you all xxxxx

Rumbled! 

Rumbled

​So this weekend something happened that will change my sex life for the next 20 years. After telling the kids to ‘shhhhhhh’ for the 58th time in the six berth camper we had hired for the weekend, finally silence fell. …..until Harrison asked loudly, in a disgusted tone: ‘urgh, are you two having  S….E……X!? Because of you are having  S…..E……X. You need to stop.  It’s just gross, with your kids here,  close those curtains,  this is grossing me out!’ 😱😰😳😩😫😭 What the fu#k!? Firstly we actually were not having sex, any grunting noises had come as a result of me clambering up the shit#ing ladder to get into the coffin style bed above the drivers seats. Secondly, the space from our bed to the ceiling was about half a foot, i could barely turn over let alone anything else!! Thirdly…..I was too tired 😜 So the next morning I questioned harri on what is S….E…..X? His answer…. ‘its when a man and lady are naked in bed, kissing and making noises’ Day three he wake up and he asks: ‘ who was rocking the caravan last night?’ I had to think on my feet. ‘oh,  i thought you were asleep (true!)  there were some naughty boys outside pushing our caravan.  Did you hear dad go out and shout at them?’ ‘no, but thank God for that,  I thought it was you two having S….E….X.  i hope those boys don’t come back tonight! ‘ No fear of that son…they have well and truley got the message😒 So we are now looking for locks to put on our bedroom door and I’m trying to work out how to approach the proper birds and bee’s talk with them …..wish me luck!

Feeling sorry for myself 

Feeling sorry for myself 

​Day one of feeling like s#;t Today has been a struggle.   I’m not ill very often but I seem to be paying for that now. My throat feels like razor blades, my nose is either running or completly blocked, my ears are aching and my head is thumping. Every body movement feels like hard work. As a mum you’re not allowed to be poorly,   let alone with five of the little cherubs! There is no point even moaning about my ailments to Mike because everytime I try to explain to him how I feel ,  he has it,  but worse! After I took the kids to school this morning I tried to get on with some housework but I got distracted….. Friends turned up with cake! I spent all day moving from the sofa to the coffee machine and back again and catching up on the latest gossip. Once the kids had been picked up I thought I would try and pep myself up having a hot bath and face mask – it didn’t help. After my soak it was back to mum duties.  Mikey had his first rehearsal for a show he is in in the summer. I could have had two hours of peace and quiet while I wait for him to finish,  but I agreed Libby could come. Instead I spent two hours running around Reigate trying to find baby wipes so that I  could wipe the sushi she dropped all over mikes car! I’m in now,  nurafen taken,  hemroid cream under my eyes (for the puffiness) and a bowl of cornflakes because I forgot to have dinner 🙊 It’s not all bad,  did I mention im in bed, blogging and watching Snatch!? Day two if feeling like s?;t Nope,  Definatly not feeling better today but it’s all good because I don’t have anything to do today! ……..oh no sorry, that’s someone else’s life!  Today I am helping at Libbys school trip! I honestly couldnt think of anything I would least like to do when I feel like this than spend a day with 30 reception children, but how could I let her down? (not a picture of me today!!!!) As it happens we had a really good day,  the kids were fantastic and I loved spending quality time with Libby and her friends. After school my day went like this : 4pm. Business meeting 6pm drop off to tutor 6.30.(treat myself to a manicure!) 7.30 pick up from tutor PICK UP KEBAB FOR EVERYONE 8.30 home 8.45 pour a large wine and Blog! Right,  now I’m in bed with soup hoping tomorrow I feel better. Note to anyone reading this who haven’t had children yet – if you are ill,  enjoy it,  once you have kids,  being ill isn’t an excuse to spend all day on the sofa watching box sets!…..  S#;T GETS REAL! 

What a week

What A Week

What a draining and eventful week.  Not only for me, but the whole country! Britain voted to leave the EU! Who saw that coming? Ironically, the remainers are accusing the leavers of dividing Britain. Although,  it is this attitude that I believe is making a divide. Don’t get me wrong, I am as nervous as everyone but the backlash has disappointed me slightly. Ever the optimist, I would have liked to think that now is time to come together and make our children’s futures as great as we can. Anyway,  enough of politics,  I’m sick of it! After spending Friday night celebrating a friends hen do I spent all day yesterday on the sofa. I haven’t had a hangover like that since I was 21! image What was I thinking!?  Surely the fifth sambuca shot should have been enough!  I have no business behaving like that now,  I’m a mum of five!….  F#@k it, it’s because I’m a mum of five I behave like that! image Saturday night I watched Anthony Joshua defended his title without breaking a sweat and Adele had me in tears watching her at Glastonbury. George is teething badly at the moment.   Our house has a constant moan in the background,  poor little mite! Calpol has been stocked up and the powder that looks like cocaine wraps. image To finish the weekend we have spent a lovely day at the school fete. Reminding me of everything I love about British tradition, spending a overcast summer afternoon with family and friends,  drinking pimms and playing Tombola!

What a week

What a draining and eventful week.  Not only for me, but the whole country!
Britain voted to leave the EU! Who saw that coming?
Ironically, the remainers are accusing the leavers of dividing Britain. Although,  it is this attitude that I believe is making a divide.
Don’t get me wrong, I am as nervous as everyone but the backlash has disappointed me slightly.
Ever the optimist, I would have liked to think that now is time to come together and make our children’s futures as great as we can. 
Anyway,  enough of politics,  I’m sick of it!
After spending Friday night celebrating a friends hen do I spent all day yesterday on the sofa.
I haven’t had a hangover like that since I was 21!
image
What was I thinking!?  Surely the fifth sambuca shot should have been enough!  I have no business behaving like that now,  I’m a mum of five!….  F#@k it, it’s because I’m a mum of five I behave like that!
image
Saturday night I watched Anthony Joshua defended his title without breaking a sweat and Adele had me in tears watching her at Glastonbury.
George is teething badly at the moment.   Our house has a constant moan in the background,  poor little mite!
Calpol has been stocked up and the powder that looks like cocaine wraps.
image
To finish the weekend we have spent a lovely day at the school fete.
Reminding me of everything I love about British tradition, spending a overcast summer afternoon with family and friends,  drinking pimms and playing Tombola!

When you nearly kill your husband

When You Nearly Kill Your Husband

How about when you are peacefully sleeping and your husband wakes you up asking for his phone. You tell him you don’t have it, but he insists before you fell asleep you put it on charge next to you. Even though you have absolutely no recollection of this you bolt up and start looking for the phone……. Nowhere to be found! He is absolutely certain, after you ask numerous times, he brought it upstairs and gave it to you So you check everywhere, strip the bed, take the duvet out of the cover incase the phone has some how maneuvered itself down the bed,  in-between the buttons and into the sheet. No sign of it. You get on your knees and check under every corner of the bed while he lifts it. Meanwhile the light is now full on,  risking waking the baby. You check drawers,  windowsills,  down the toilet,  in the bath…. Even though twenty minutes ago you were catching your zzzz’s. While hubby stomps around the room insisting its gone,  you try to rationalise unless a pixie has come in and taken it, it would have to be in the room. You then sit up on your phone and work out how these Tracker things work on your phone so you can locate it in the 220 square foot room you are sitting in! but neither of you can remember the f@cking email address. You finally take the search that step further and decide to go downstairs to re -trace his steps. imagine your suprise when you hit the bottom step and see the phone sitting on the sideboard in the hallway. WHAT A PR!CK The next bit? You prepare your rant and outburst at him for being that stupid. When you walk in the room,  show him the phone,  and before you can get your words he bellows…. ‘Oh my God.. You just took that down there!!!!  You found it here and took it down there ‘ What you want to say is ‘ you f@cking dick, you woke me up,  had me looking everywhere, nearly woke the baby up and then have the gaul to not apologise, you are a total walking W@nker!!!!!!!’ But you just hand it to him,  tell him politely to f@ck off, Get into bed and leave him with the thought that he is a complete ignoramus! Then write a blog about it! Ps…..He apologised in the end 😂😂😂