Burning my bra! 

Burning my bra! 

I always try to keep my blog posts light hearted but as I am lucky enough to have this platform I am going to use it to rant today. This isn’t to lecture or cause controversy.   This is just me,  unleashing my anger that has consumed me for the past 24 hours. I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends in that time to unleash my rage on so I’m afraid you, as my friends and blog viewers are going to get it full blast. Yesterday a post popped up on my newsfeed, it said ; ‘PETITION….1.6 million people signed to stop a man coming into the country, how many will sign to save the most innocent and defenseless in our society…’ It was a petition to withdraw Abortion from NHS funding. Now I’m not a hardcore feminist, I have always believed in equal rights, but im not someone who gets offended by a builder Wolf whistling or a fella saying ‘ cheers love ‘ and I like a man to open the door for me and offering to buy me a drink. But….this post has turned me into a full blown, bra burning women’s right advocate.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion,  that is what is amazing about living in a free, democratic society,  but when an opinion or view is imposed on me,  or more importantly my children and future generations every part of my maternal protection kicks in. This petition has been started by a man and encouraged by men it appears. Of the 320 comments that followed this post to date, every pro life comment was from a man. Pro-life – I have a bit of an issue with this term.  I am pro life,  I’m certainly not anti-life.  I certainly am pro choice, not anti-choice which I think is a more appropriate term.  I think Pro-life is a term someone gave to give the argument more moral weight. Some of the comments included : _________ ‘The NHS is taxpayer funded which means that as a taxpayer I am required to fund abortions. I believe abortion is murder and while I understand using that word is evocative that is my belief. There are many others who share my views so it seems unreasonable to expect us to fund what we believe to be murder” “1) around 1% of abortion cases involve rape but even then does having a rapist as a parent invalidate someone’s life 2) for 1% of cases our Public Health Service should allow the 99% deaths” “this is muder i think every one should sign this god bless all the litte on born babys pray for the mothers murdering ther  babys an the pepol that help do it god bless jesus loves you all” ___________ These are just a few of the tamer views that were shared by pro life people on this post. I found my blood boiling to the point of obsession and disgust. Being anti abortion I completly understand,  especially if you are a man who can not relate to the reasoning behind a termination. But to impose you belief on me?  On my daughter?  On my sister?  On my friend?  Go f#ck yourself! It is a debate that has been going on for years. It has also made me think about mens views on it. Are they entitled to an opinion? of corse. If a consenting couple find themselves pregnant, should the father have a say over the life of his unborn child?…..absolutely. But,  unfortunately guys we do have the final say. This isn’t about sexism but simple biology,  we carry the baby for nine months,  we sacrifice our body and mind and we alone go through child birth. We can not walk away a few weeks into it because it’s too much for us to handle. We look after the baby for the rest of their life, so really,  who should have the final say?! Another point I have found myself thinking about for the first time is, what would happen if the NHS did stop funding abortions. Desperate girls and women Googling ‘ how to perform home abortions?’ Throwing us back to the 30’s and 40’s where women downed a bottle of gin and sat in a boiling hot bath?  or worse! Jesus, it doesn’t bare thinking about.   Babies abandoned at hospital steps,  care homes over flowing, burdening a child welfare system that is at breaking point already? Babies with severe disabilities or deformities being born to mothers that can not cope. Women traumatised by rape, being forced to birth the baby of their rapist.  Then having to decide if they can live with a baby that they may resent. Or give It up and have further torture wondering if they ever did the right thing. Or a girl who simply enjoys sex but who’s contraceptive failed….. How dare she have enjoyed herself without out weighing up whether, if the protection doesn’t work, could she cope with a baby.  After all,  that is why she used it in the first place! I’m sure the fella was thinking the same thing while he was getting ready to have his fun! I also find a man’s view on a termination interesting.  A comment that kept coming up was a women using it as a form of contraceptive.  how ridiculous! Their is a difference between a women making the mistake more than once and ‘ using it as contraception’ As if a termination is as simple as taking the morning after pill. Do any of these men understand what it is to go through a termination!? The turmoil most women find themselves in is indescribable. A procedure which either way causes physical discomfort and pain not to mention the mental effect. Honestly guys, no one thinks,  don’t worry, I’ll just have an abortion! I commented a few times on this post.  I liken it to banging my head against a brick wall. Surprisingly,  only one man tried to defend his opinion.   Albeit a poor defence! He said that he believes in nurturing all children and babies. I call…..bullshit!!! I had to point out,  he is far from nuturing the young 14 year old girl who’s experimenting found herself pregnant and at risk of ruining the rest of her life. These men!  Honestly! I dispair I refer to men because not one women defended the petition. As I read through the posts comments that kept pinging up, it was like watching an argument between me and one of my kids. I could picture in my mind a grown man,  frowning with his arms crossed and stomping his feet. ‘but I just don’t like it,  it’s wrong,  it’s murder, you are evil ‘ And when a proper debate starts they dissappear or throw their toys out of their pram. ‘ you’re just being mean to me because I don’t agree with you…..’ boo hoo’ 1- I’m being mean?  trust me,  I’m holding myself together with all that is in me. 2- you put your opinion out their,  shoving it down my throat,  so have a bit back. Totally narrow minded,  self righteous men,  who, after spouting about how women shouldn’t be allowed terminations, even though their well be thousands more unwantes babies in the world, probably role their eyes at me when I walk in the supermarket with six kids in tow…… Twats!!! I must add,  there are also a huge amount of men supporting women.  I found that equally as encouraging. I feel like, for the first time in my life,  my right as a women is being questioned. Now as a mum to a little girl,  this struck a cord even more. Finding myself slightly obsessed with this post I naturally found myself stalking the Facebook pages of some of the worst culprits. It made me sad to see many were very religious,  one even a pastor. I grew up a Christian and still have my beliefs. Unfortunately, I do also feel this highlights the church’s hypocrisy on some subjects. Wow, I feel so much better now.   Thanks for listening,  sorry if I have provoked anger (maybe even towards me) But, if my daughter comes to me one day in a position she never thought she would find herself in, dispite all my ‘ safe sex ‘ talks,  I know Mike and I would put our arms round her,  explain ALL her options and support her no matter what she decides. I’m not going to actively promote this post due to its controversy. However,  if you feel it is important to you or has struck a cord, please like and share away. Peace out ✌

Baby Six Birth Story

Baby Six Birth Story

After what felt like the longest third trimester ever I finally gave birth to my 2017 baby boy in the early hours of 29th April. I apologise for the lack of birth photos, this is for two reasons….. 1) I struggle enough to remenber to take photos when I’m blogging about dinner or a day out,  let alone while panting through contractions. 2) If Mike had started clicking away at me at my grimmest he probably would have spent a few hours in a different part of the hospital! So, the birth,  let me fill you in first at the lead up. I have previously had a twin birth in hospital,  two home births and a planned homebirth that turned into a hospital (birthing suite/ water birth)  due to no homebirth midwives available that afternoon. This makes me..  As I have been reminded many times in the last eight months, ‘para 5’. This term refers to the amount of  pregnancies carried to term,  and what tends to follow the phrase around like a bad smell is ‘high risk’. I have never considered myself high risk. I have been fortunate enough to deliver all my babies naturally without medication and have bounced back after labour straight away. Earlier on in my pregnancy I was referred to a consultant due to me being ‘high risk’. Apparently, hemorrhaging after birth Is more common the more babies you have had. Because of this he decided not to back me for a homebirth. He explained he couldn’t stop me of I really wanted one but he strongly recommended I have baby at hospital. He reassured me that if I agreed to this I could use the hospital birthing suite and pool. I’m not going to lie, being told what I can and can’t do when giving birth didn’t sit well with me. I champion womens choice during birth, whether you want a home birth,  drugs or a c section, I think it is important for a women to feel in control of her birth plan (taking into account any problems during pregnancy). I argued for the sake of arguing, but in the back of my mind was Mike and the kids.   Do I really have the right to take any chances? I have a family that need me and if the Dr is saying there is a risk (no matter how small I think it is)  I have a responsibility to my family to listen to him. Fast forward to my due date. At my midwife appointment I was told the hospital was so busy that if I went into labour that night the hospital might ask me to go somewhere else due to lack of bed space (104 births in four days!) I asked if a homebirth would be a better option as I didn’t want to get caught in a position where I would have to find another hospital while I was in labour, she agreed. We decided that as long as everything was progressing well during labour I would stay at home and call someone out. At that appointment I was 2cm dilated, and baby was quite high (not engaged).   This was my first baby to hang on till 40 weeks. For about a week before the birth I was having contractions,  sometimes every hour,  sometimes not for 5 hours, sometimes 5 in an hour! I put it down to strong Braxton hicks. Finally, Friday night,  3 days past my due date,  I woke up at midnight with bad Contractions. I tried to get back to sleep and started timing the Contractions in between sleeping. After fifteen minutes I couldn’t sleep anymore so I got up and looked at my Contraction timing app. They were barely 2 minutes apart!  I grabbed my tens machine and strapped it to my back then dug out the delivery suite number. The midwife on call explained that she didn’t feel comfortable coming out to me when she hasn’t been too or house before (to carry out risk assessment etc) before so I agreed to come into hospital. I woke Mike up,  called my mother in law and started getting my bits ready. I wish I had taken photos of Mike.  His face, everytime I had a Contraction on the way to the hospital was classic. They were coming a minute apart and I couldn’t talk through them by that stage so after watching four births, he knew it wouldn’t be long. He told me after the birth that he thought he would have to deliver baby in the back of his truck down a pitch black country lane! When we arrived at the hospital the midwife examined me.  I was 8cm dilated. Then came the blow….she told me that the doctor on duty would not allow me to use the birthing suite because of me being ‘para 5, high risk ‘ I told her that the consultant had put on my notes that I could have a water birth but she told me,  because he hadn’t wrote it in the right place, I absolutly couldn’t use the birthing suite or pool. I was heart broken (and a little scared)  my last two births were water births and the pain relief in water is great! By this stage I didn’t have time to argue, I asked her to just take me to wherever I was suppose to deliver the baby. She led us into a room which was everything I hated about giving birth!  A delivery suite with a bed and….. Well, nothing else!!!!  Just a bed! I asked where I was supposed push.   By now my humour was fading and I was starting to feel pissed off,  So when the midwife answered ‘ you should know that by baby six’ i flashed a look at her that said it all. Then they insisted on putting a canuler in my hand,  just incase I started bleeding after the birth and needed a blood transfusion.   I agreed because I was so busy focusing on each Contraction. I told my midwife I couldn’t push laying down so she moved the bed in a position so that the top of the bed was vertical.  I was on my knees with my head over the top of the bed ( a very comfortable position to birth in). After I jumped in that position Arthur John was born in the next three contractions. Labor had been under three hours from when I woke up to Arthur flying out at 3.05am. He was born a heavyweight at 9lb 1oz, the biggest of our babes. What a scrumpy little bundle!!!  He came out screaming but after warming up and latching onto my boob he settled down. I didn’t have any unusual bleeding post birth.  In fact, the midwife said there was very little blood lose during delivery. This was my first birth that I didn’t tear and I’d like a little high five from you mums who can appreciate the feeling of going to the loo on day 2! 😉🎊🎉 His timing was great,  I enjoyed a glass if prosecco during the Anthony Joshua fight that night! Dispite none of my birth going to plan, we both got through it and it all seems like a dream now. And now here we are,  a family of eight!  The other children adore him,  well,  the older ones anyway. George doesn’t really know what to make of him,  he just finds it handy that when he can’t find his dummy he can go and take Arthurs! Tell me about your labours, I’m not the only one who’s birth plan went out the window am I!?

Baby Six Birth Story

Baby Six Birth Story

After what felt like the longest third trimester ever I finally gave birth to my 2017 baby boy in the early hours of 29th April. I apologise for the lack of birth photos, this is for two reasons….. 1) I struggle enough to remenber to take photos when I’m blogging about dinner or a day out,  let alone while panting through contractions. 2) If Mike had started clicking away at me at my grimmest he probably would have spent a few hours in a different part of the hospital! So, the birth,  let me fill you in first at the lead up. I have previously had a twin birth in hospital,  two home births and a planned homebirth that turned into a hospital (birthing suite/ water birth)  due to no homebirth midwives available that afternoon. This makes me..  As I have been reminded many times in the last eight months, ‘para 5’. This term refers to the amount of  pregnancies carried to term,  and what tends to follow the phrase around like a bad smell is ‘high risk’. I have never considered myself high risk. I have been fortunate enough to deliver all my babies naturally without medication and have bounced back after labour straight away. Earlier on in my pregnancy I was referred to a consultant due to me being ‘high risk’. Apparently, hemorrhaging after birth Is more common the more babies you have had. Because of this he decided not to back me for a homebirth. He explained he couldn’t stop me of I really wanted one but he strongly recommended I have baby at hospital. He reassured me that if I agreed to this I could use the hospital birthing suite and pool. I’m not going to lie, being told what I can and can’t do when giving birth didn’t sit well with me. I champion womens choice during birth, whether you want a home birth,  drugs or a c section, I think it is important for a women to feel in control of her birth plan (taking into account any problems during pregnancy). I argued for the sake of arguing, but in the back of my mind was Mike and the kids.   Do I really have the right to take any chances? I have a family that need me and if the Dr is saying there is a risk (no matter how small I think it is)  I have a responsibility to my family to listen to him. Fast forward to my due date. At my midwife appointment I was told the hospital was so busy that if I went into labour that night the hospital might ask me to go somewhere else due to lack of bed space (104 births in four days!) I asked if a homebirth would be a better option as I didn’t want to get caught in a position where I would have to find another hospital while I was in labour, she agreed. We decided that as long as everything was progressing well during labour I would stay at home and call someone out. At that appointment I was 2cm dilated, and baby was quite high (not engaged).   This was my first baby to hang on till 40 weeks. For about a week before the birth I was having contractions,  sometimes every hour,  sometimes not for 5 hours, sometimes 5 in an hour! I put it down to strong Braxton hicks. Finally, Friday night,  3 days past my due date,  I woke up at midnight with bad Contractions. I tried to get back to sleep and started timing the Contractions in between sleeping. After fifteen minutes I couldn’t sleep anymore so I got up and looked at my Contraction timing app. They were barely 2 minutes apart! I grabbed my tens machine and strapped it to my back then dug out the delivery suite number. The midwife on call explained that she didn’t feel comfortable coming out to me when she hasn’t been too or house before (to carry out risk assessment etc) before so I agreed to come into hospital. I woke Mike up,  called my mother in law and started getting my bits ready. I wish I had taken photos of Mike.  His face, everytime I had a Contraction on the way to the hospital was classic. They were coming a minute apart and I couldn’t talk through them by that stage so after watching four births, he knew it wouldn’t be long. He told me after the birth that he thought he would have to deliver baby in the back of his truck down a pitch black country lane! When we arrived at the hospital the midwife examined me.  I was 8cm dilated. Then came the blow….she told me that the doctor on duty would not allow me to use the birthing suite because of me being ‘para 5, high risk ‘ I told her that the consultant had put on my notes that I could have a water birth but she told me,  because he hadn’t wrote it in the right place, I absolutly couldn’t use the birthing suite or pool. I was heart broken (and a little scared)  my last two births were water births and the pain relief in water is great! By this stage I didn’t have time to argue, I asked her to just take me to wherever I was suppose to deliver the baby. She led us into a room which was everything I hated about giving birth!  A delivery suite with a bed and….. Well, nothing else!!!!  Just a bed! I asked where I was supposed push.   By now my humour was fading and I was starting to feel pissed off,  So when the midwife answered ‘ you should know that by baby six’ i flashed a look at her that said it all. Then they insisted on putting a canuler in my hand,  just incase I started bleeding after the birth and needed a blood transfusion.   I agreed because I was so busy focusing on each Contraction. I told my midwife I couldn’t push laying down so she moved the bed in a position so that the top of the bed was vertical.  I was on my knees with my head over the top of the bed ( a very comfortable position to birth in). After I jumped in that position Arthur John was born in the next three contractions. Labor had been under three hours from when I woke up to Arthur flying out at 3.05am. He was born a heavyweight at 9lb 1oz, the biggest of our babes. What a scrumpy little bundle!!!  He came out screaming but after warming up and latching onto my boob he settled down. I didn’t have any unusual bleeding post birth.  In fact, the midwife said there was very little blood lose during delivery. This was my first birth that I didn’t tear and I’d like a little high five from you mums who can appreciate the feeling of going to the loo on day 2! 😉🎊🎉 His timing was great,  I enjoyed a glass if prosecco during the Anthony Joshua fight that night! Dispite none of my birth going to plan, we both got through it and it all seems like a dream now. And now here we are,  a family of eight!  The other children adore him,  well,  the older ones anyway. George doesn’t really know what to make of him,  he just finds it handy that when he can’t find his dummy he can go and take Arthurs! Tell me about your labours, I’m not the only one who’s birth plan went out the window am I!?

Burning my bra! 

Burning my bra! 

I always try to keep my blog posts light hearted but as I am lucky enough to have this platform I am going to use it to rant today. This isn’t to lecture or cause controversy.   This is just me,  unleashing my anger that has consumed me for the past 24 hours. I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends in that time to unleash my rage on so I’m afraid you, as my friends and blog viewers are going to get it full blast. Yesterday a post popped up on my newsfeed, it said ; ‘PETITION….1.6 million people signed to stop a man coming into the country, how many will sign to save the most innocent and defenseless in our society…’ It was a petition to withdraw Abortion from NHS funding. Now I’m not a hardcore feminist, I have always believed in equal rights, but im not someone who gets offended by a builder Wolf whistling or a fella saying ‘ cheers love ‘ and I like a man to open the door for me and offering to buy me a drink. But….this post has turned me into a full blown, bra burning women’s right advocate. Everyone is entitled to their opinion,  that is what is amazing about living in a free, democratic society,  but when an opinion or view is imposed on me,  or more importantly my children and future generations every part of my maternal protection kicks in. This petition has been started by a man and encouraged by men it appears. Of the 320 comments that followed this post to date, every pro life comment was from a man. Pro-life – I have a bit of an issue with this term.  I am pro life,  I’m certainly not anti-life.  I certainly am pro choice, not anti-choice which I think is a more appropriate term. I think Pro-life is a term someone gave to give the argument more moral weight. Some of the comments included : _________ ‘The NHS is taxpayer funded which means that as a taxpayer I am required to fund abortions. I believe abortion is murder and while I understand using that word is evocative that is my belief. There are many others who share my views so it seems unreasonable to expect us to fund what we believe to be murder” “1) around 1% of abortion cases involve rape but even then does having a rapist as a parent invalidate someone’s life 2) for 1% of cases our Public Health Service should allow the 99% deaths” “this is muder i think every one should sign this god bless all the litte on born babys pray for the mothers murdering ther  babys an the pepol that help do it god bless jesus loves you all” ___________ These are just a few of the tamer views that were shared by pro life people on this post. I found my blood boiling to the point of obsession and disgust. Being anti abortion I completly understand,  especially if you are a man who can not relate to the reasoning behind a termination. But to impose you belief on me?  On my daughter?  On my sister?  On my friend?  Go f#ck yourself! It is a debate that has been going on for years. It has also made me think about mens views on it. Are they entitled to an opinion? of corse. If a consenting couple find themselves pregnant, should the father have a say over the life of his unborn child?…..absolutely. But,  unfortunately guys we do have the final say. This isn’t about sexism but simple biology,  we carry the baby for nine months,  we sacrifice our body and mind and we alone go through child birth. We can not walk away a few weeks into it because it’s too much for us to handle. We look after the baby for the rest of their life, so really,  who should have the final say?! Another point I have found myself thinking about for the first time is, what would happen if the NHS did stop funding abortions. Desperate girls and women Googling ‘ how to perform home abortions?’ Throwing us back to the 30’s and 40’s where women downed a bottle of gin and sat in a boiling hot bath?  or worse! Jesus, it doesn’t bare thinking about.   Babies abandoned at hospital steps,  care homes over flowing, burdening a child welfare system that is at breaking point already? Babies with severe disabilities or deformities being born to mothers that can not cope. Women traumatised by rape, being forced to birth the baby of their rapist.  Then having to decide if they can live with a baby that they may resent. Or give It up and have further torture wondering if they ever did the right thing. Or a girl who simply enjoys sex but who’s contraceptive failed….. How dare she have enjoyed herself without out weighing up whether, if the protection doesn’t work, could she cope with a baby.  After all,  that is why she used it in the first place! I’m sure the fella was thinking the same thing while he was getting ready to have his fun! I also find a man’s view on a termination interesting.  A comment that kept coming up was a women using it as a form of contraceptive.  how ridiculous! Their is a difference between a women making the mistake more than once and ‘ using it as contraception’ As if a termination is as simple as taking the morning after pill. Do any of these men understand what it is to go through a termination!? The turmoil most women find themselves in is indescribable. A procedure which either way causes physical discomfort and pain not to mention the mental effect. Honestly guys, no one thinks,  don’t worry, I’ll just have an abortion! I commented a few times on this post. I liken it to banging my head against a brick wall. Surprisingly,  only one man tried to defend his opinion.   Albeit a poor defence! He said that he believes in nurturing all children and babies. I call…..bullshit!!! I had to point out,  he is far from nuturing the young 14 year old girl who’s experimenting found herself pregnant and at risk of ruining the rest of her life. These men!  Honestly! I dispair I refer to men because not one women defended the petition. As I read through the posts comments that kept pinging up, it was like watching an argument between me and one of my kids. I could picture in my mind a grown man,  frowning with his arms crossed and stomping his feet. ‘but I just don’t like it,  it’s wrong,  it’s murder, you are evil ‘ And when a proper debate starts they dissappear or throw their toys out of their pram. ‘ you’re just being mean to me because I don’t agree with you…..’ boo hoo’ 1- I’m being mean?  trust me,  I’m holding myself together with all that is in me. 2- you put your opinion out their,  shoving it down my throat,  so have a bit back. Totally narrow minded,  self righteous men,  who, after spouting about how women shouldn’t be allowed terminations, even though their well be thousands more unwantes babies in the world, probably role their eyes at me when I walk in the supermarket with six kids in tow…… Twats!!! I must add,  there are also a huge amount of men supporting women.  I found that equally as encouraging. I feel like, for the first time in my life,  my right as a women is being questioned. Now as a mum to a little girl,  this struck a cord even more. Finding myself slightly obsessed with this post I naturally found myself stalking the Facebook pages of some of the worst culprits. It made me sad to see many were very religious,  one even a pastor. I grew up a Christian and still have my beliefs. Unfortunately, I do also feel this highlights the church’s hypocrisy on some subjects. Wow, I feel so much better now.   Thanks for listening,  sorry if I have provoked anger (maybe even towards me) But, if my daughter comes to me one day in a position she never thought she would find herself in, dispite all my ‘ safe sex ‘ talks,  I know Mike and I would put our arms round her,  explain ALL her options and support her no matter what she decides. I’m not going to actively promote this post due to its controversy. However,  if you feel it is important to you or has struck a cord, please like and share away. Peace out ✌