I really didn’t expect to have to deal with my children being influenced from an outside source as young as eleven years old.
We haven’t even started high school. Yet, here I am, trying to tackle my son, who, up until five moths ago was a polite, calm, laid back kid who’s biggest problem was finding matching sock in the morning and throwing the odd strop bcause I hadn’t stockedthe cupboards up with enough chocolate biscuits.Then, like an unwelcome guest who moved in and took over our lounge (and wifi)…. Fortnitearrived!Before then he would take or leave the computer. He would play ten minutes here, half an hour there and then lose interest.H originally ‘sold’ Fortnite to me as a free game that he can play with his school friends, I agreed that he could download it.
Since then, parenting my Fortnite obsessed son has turned me into an skilled negotiator, lowered my mental age to 11 to try to understand/sympathise with him and brought out my inner ‘Mrs Trunchball’.
I get it. I remember being obsessed with Mario Kart and Sonic the hedgehog when I was his age. My brother and I would play for hours and hours if we were allowed (which we weren’t).The big difference is that I wasn’t accessible to anyone online and once the game was purchased, no further expenses were incurred.
Fortnite is ingenious, they have created a game with an online community which creates a constant link to friends (and strangers) as well as offering a so called ‘free’ game but that you have to constantly buy bolt ons for.
I have moaned about the game, I have had screaming matches with my son, I have tried to reason with him, it has been an exhausting few months and I know I am not alone.H would get back from school and put his headphones straight on.He sulked when I ask him to switch it off.He threw tantrums if the internet was slow because it made the game ‘lag’.His general attitude was shameful and I was not ready for this ‘Kevin’ stage, (certainly not until he is at least 13!Apart from the change in his attitude, I was concerned about the dangers. My husband has friends that play this game! Without realising it H has been playing in online groups that adults have been in.It was Piers Morgan of all people who I felt gave me the kick up the arse I needed.There was a section on Good Morning Britain about Fortnite and it’s effects on children.We heard about children who were wetting themselves rather than stopping the game (you can not pause Fortnite). They also announced that Fortnite is the first game that has resulted with a child being referred for counseling on the NHS.So Piers, rather than just object to the game, put the blame firmly at the parents feet.My first reaction was anger. This game has been expressly designed to hook and addict my child and I was trying my hardest to keep my preen in line.The family counsellor who was a guest on the show said ‘Parents are trying to hard to be liked by their children, they are too scared to upset them’That sounded so familiar and then I realised, I had become the mum I never thought I would be…..the mum that puts being her child’s friend in front of discipline, safety and respect.I made H watch the segment. He saw for himself what the majority of parents were thinking.
All the children are telling their parents,
‘Jonnys mum lets him play when he wants’‘Billys mum lets him play longer than you let me’When actually, that’s all rubbish! We are trying to enforce rules and the kids are (embarrassingly) manipulating us.I asked him what he thought was a reasonable amount of screen time each day. We agreed on 45 minutes on a week day (after chores and homework is done) and 1.5 hours at the weekends.So far this has been working brilliantly.We have also sat down together and watched the story of Breck Brednar, a school boy that lived near to us.He was groomed for over a year by a lad in his gaming community. Despite his parents concerns and warnings, he was tragically murdered at 14 years old by the 17 year old boy.Watching the documentary was a big turning point.Listening to Brecks mum recall how she tried so hard to reason, explain, sanction Breck because she knew the dangers there could be online, was heart breaking. To then watch Breck ignore his parents concerns, just like H had been doing to us, and to seewhat tragedy has resulted was a wake up call for me, my husband, H and his brothers.
So much so that my husband ran the London Marathon this year for The Breck Foundation.
H has a new attitude to the computer now, and I still know it is an on going battle, but for now it is one we are winning!
I would love to know about your experience with your child and gaming.I asked a few fellow bloggers how they deal with this and limit screen time with their children:Pete at www.householdmoneysaving.comMy son has an hour per day. And if he starts shouting at the screen, it gets turned off straight away.Beth at www.twinderelmo.co.ukMy son had his first Xbox for his 9th birthday in December. Honestly? We just let him monitor his own screen time and after hammering it for a few months, he’s got bored of it. He will have the odd hour here and there but as a whole it’s fizzled out.Sophie at www.youmeraisingthree.co.ukI allow our daughter some screen time on the iPad as some down time before dinner or on long car journeys. She knows she’s limited to 30minutes and is only allowed on certain apps. We make sure she’s not shut away in her room so we are aware of what she’s doing/watching.If she’s not behaved well then she doesn’t have it at all. It’s definitely a privilege.Luschka at www.diaryofafirstchild.comWe use an app that blocks the children’s devices after 2 hours of use. Its brilliant as I can set bed times, school hours, outdoor time etc and can also select which apps are blocked at different times. The kids can also earn more screentime by doing extrajobs and since the app manages it all, mum cant be blamed for it running out of time!Sarah at www.mummycatnotes.comWe allow an hour after school, it must go off before dinner time and they seem happy with that, it’s letting them know that you are in charge and your rules stand, my son doesn’t play fortnite but does play mine craft with his sister occasionally and I alwaysmake sure to time them and they seem pretty happy coming off when asked.Rebecca at www.youmeraisingthree.co.ukI allow our daughter some screen time on the iPad as some down time before dinner or on long car journeys. She knows she’s limited to 30minutes and is only allowed on certain apps. We make sure she’s not shut away in her room so we are aware of what she’s doing/watching.If she’s not behaved well then she doesn’t have it at all. It’s definitely a privilege.Leigh at www.dadgeek.co.ukI’ve been talking a lot about this today after posting a news article about another 9 yr old having issues.Despite attempts to demonise one videogame or another, this is really an issue of parents being involved and setting limits. Make an effort to understand the games your children are playing and you’ll be better informed about their suitability.Many games are rated for content but only parents will know if a child is emotionally mature enough to remain calm whilst playing a competitive game. Parents should set clear time limits and stick to them so that children learn what those boundaries are.If a child is getting angry or upset while playing, it’s time to turn the game off and come back with a calmer state of mind. If the child can’t stay calm, they are not yet mature enough to be playing it at all.Kelly-Ann at www.mimiroseandme.comUse it as a reward. We have daily tasks that she can work towards and if she does well she has an extra ten minutes. Giving them a time limit helps and if she starts to cry or grumpy when I take it away she doesn’t get it the next.Jess at www.mrshible.wordpress.comOur two have screen time but I limit them to 60mins maximum a day then they must turn it off and go do a activity away from the screens/ consolesGeorgina at www.geegardner.co.ukWe don’t have any set times as such for games as such but we do have break rules. After playing a game for half an hour she will come off for a snack or a drink and then go back on if she wants and more often than not she chooses to do something else. We havenever had set restrictions and it works for us. She spends more time drawing and reading than playing games. I think gaming gets really bad stick when in most cases it’s down to parents not understanding the games their children are playing. If parents lookedinto the games their children are playing and supervised them then half of the news stories wouldn’t make the papers because they wouldn’t exist.Mandi at www.bigfamilyorganisedchaos.comWe don’t have set screen time they are allowed on when they like but having seven children they don’t get long anyway!! They all know they are not allowed to play any game over their age limit but most of them prefer going to the beach or playing in the paddlingpool at the moment.Aleena at www.mummymamamum.comUntil about 6 weeks ago, we had screen times at set times during the day – 12-1:30 for my eldest (when youngest naps) and then 4pm-5pm while I cook dinner. The TV/screens simply don’t go on outside those times, so my kids are used to it. The last few weeks,however, I’ve also scrapped the late afternoon session because the weathers been so lush they’ve been playing outside anyway! We have a lot of music on during the day.Jen at www.justaveragejen.comI don’t give my son limits although he has to come down for all meals and I do every now and then insist he does something else. He has special needs and struggles to go out much so his social life is playing online with his friends and chatting school andstuff at the same time.
**WARNING – I have wrote this post with a ten month old on my lap and my two year old bouncing on my legs playing horsey so please excuse any typos, bad grammar or spelling mistakes!******
I have only just started enjoying our lunch dates with the kids again.
As soon as George turned fifteen months my usual calm, civilized diners started to resemble a scene out of Jurassic Park.
The one where the T-Rex is flipping cars and tearing down fences while the humans watch on, horried, from behind a tree!
I would get flustered and embaressed while George flung himself out of the high chair (those wooden ones are beyond pointless!).
He would chew food up and then let it spill out of his mouth onto the table while telling me
‘Don’t like it’.
Instead of the pasta Arribiata infront of him, he would have his eyes on my moules mariniere (and happily eat every one!).
The floor around his seat would have a mixture of food, snapped crayons and napkins scattered everywhere. It was so messy that I would leave the servers a 40% tip out of embarrassment and guilt.
If I tried to discipline him at the table, he would scream louder and then would come the disapproving glances from around the restaurant.
Considering I took my first four children out all the time, and we would be complimented on how well behaved they were…this was new territory for me.
Add a new baby Arthur, who had a healthy set of lungs on him into the mix and eating out became nothing but an anxiety inducing stress-fest!
Since November, thankfully things have changed. For a start, George has developed a love for YouTube (yep…and I WILL give him his tablet if It means I can drink my coffee while it is hot!)
Also, now he can talk and communicate more his behaviour has taken a huge turn. I would even say eating out with him is enjoyable!
The most important thing I learnt about my number five is that ‘No one puts baby in the corner. ‘
He is happier sitting in an adults seat with the older kids rather than a high chair next to mum!
Last week we took the younger boys out to our local Italian for some lunch.
It is one of our favourites because it is no only child friendly but seriously delicious too.
It was a Friday lunchtime and the restaurant was full of mums with toddlers and older ladies and gents enjoying a retirement lunch.
We were sat between a couple in their 70’s (I am guessing) and a lady with a baby having lunch with her parents.
The baby next to us must have been about seven month and was crying…and crying…and crying.
Her mum was trying desperatly to sooth her but the baby wasnt having it and the mum looked tired and stressed.
Mike was trying to have a conversation with me but I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying.
I was so distracted.
It wasn’t the baby that was bothering me…it was her mum.
She was flustered and panicking and I could feel every inch of her uncomfort.
I glanced around and realised the older couple had asked to be moved and the mothers with toddlers were rolling their eyes and tutting!
I felt like crying for her!
I walked over and knelt down to the mum with her baby.
‘Most the people in the room are parents and we have all been where you are. Don’t worry about anyone else, you are doing a great job.’
I offered to take the baby while she finished her lunch as ours hadnt arrived yet.
She burst into tears and gave me a big hug.
The mum felt instantly more relaxed and in turn, her little baby calmed down.
George and Arthur were a joy that day and unlike the mum next to me, we were getting nods of approval. Usually I would feel proud that out kids good behaviour is being aknowledged, but when the praise is coming from the same judgemental dicks that are rolling their eyes at a crying baby I just felt annoyed.
Rewind just a few weeks and it was me that was sitting their being talked about and feeling shamed.
George didnt let us down though. As the bill was placed on the table he kicked his shoes off and ran through the restaurant. He ran around tables, giggling and screaming as I chased him like a overweight hurdler after a bottle of prosecco.
As I passed the mums who had been rolling their eyes i laughed
‘It was all going so well! That will teach me for being smug!’ hoping they might find the hint and advice in my comment.
George ran behind the bar, hi-fiving the waiters and I finally rugby tackled him at kitchen door!
A couple of days after this I read in a paper that a lady with a crying baby was asked to leave a cafe because it was upsetting the customers.
I wonder how many of those people offered some help or advice to the mum, who may well have been struggling herself, before they complained to the owner?
Or whether the owner of the cafe thought to ask if there was anything he/she could do to help before they showed her to the pavement.
I do have sympathy for everyone who wants to have a quiet meal without ‘naughty’ children or screaming babies around them. My point is simply, before you roll your eyes, ask to be moved or tut at the parents, take a second to think.
Could this parent be struggling? Could that child throwing a tantrum have a disability that you can not see? Could this parent benifit from a gentle hand of reassurance? Or more to the point…..were your children always perfect?
Anyway, im off out for lunch with all the kids….wish me luck 😜
Time : under 10 minutes
3 slices of smoked bacon
I red chilli (optional)
1) Remove all the fat from the bacon and grill it.
2) Scramble the eggs (no milk or butter) I find making it in the microwave the easiest.
3) Cut the chilli, cherry tomatoes and spring onion.
4) Cut the cooked bacon into slices and mix all the ingredients together.
Season with salt and pepper
0 syns on Slimming World
When I make this breakfast I have to make double because the kids absolutly love it!
If you give this a go, let me know what you think.
Sharing is caring….we all need a bit of inspiration when it comes to quick meals so please share on your social media
Before I explain about my exciting ‘Modern Mum’s Modern Women’ Event I am organising in Caterham, Surrey, I would like to give you a bit of background on me.
My name is Kate and first and foremost, I am a mum to six beautiful children.
My oldest boys have just turned eleven and my youngest is seven months old.
I have always felt it is important, dispite being a mum, to keep my sense of self worth. Whether that is getting out once in a while with my friends, making sure I find time for myself or keeping my toe in the world of business.
I need to feel like there is more to me than nappy changing, mum taxi, nursey rhymes, nerf targets and cheif chef and bottlewash (as fun as all that can be).
After spending my career as an Estate Agent, I went back to college in 2011 and qualified as a beauty therapist.
I have been helping my husband run his Scaffold Company for the last ten years and we also own a Property Company which buys and refurbishes residential homes.
My biggest passion though, is my blog, www.modernmum.net
It is primarily a parenting blog where I share my life, ideas and reviews.
I have also learned a new skill since hitting my thirties. Talking.
I love chatting and meeting new people. I love talking to the person behind me in the H&M queue. I love talking to other mums. I love talking to the elderly man in the coffee shop….and guess what!? For the most part, they seem to enjoy talking to me.
I love drinking cocktails and dancing the night away with my friends.
I love promoting small businesses.
I also have massive admiration for women.
Through the power of networking and social media i have realised I am not on my own with these thoughts.
Women are great PR tools.
So here it is…..
Soper Hall is a beautiful old building in Caterham, Surrey which is made up of three halls linked together.
In the Main hall will be the party! Live music, cocktail bar and selfie and networking boards.
The second hall will be a ‘pamper room’. Professionals from the beauty and therapy industries with their mini salons will be offering mini manicures, pedicures, massages and make overs.
All I ask is that when you take advantage of these services you make sure that you take lots of photos and selfies and tag the relevant therapists in on Social Media.
Tell your friends, tell your social media following, Let’s spread the love beyond the party!
In the third hall will be women promoting all sorts businesses.
Baby Classes, Stylists, clothing shops, jewellery, childminders, Lingerie Stores, Accountants, advice and service industries, everyone is welcome.
This is not a charity event although I have calculated the ticket prices so that there will be very little, if any profit.
My motivation is
a) because I love organising a good party! (Did i mention I was a Sales and Events girl too)
b) it will benifit and help promote Modern Mum.
So, if you have a business in Caterham, Oxted, Coulsdon, Warlingham, Purley, Sanderstead, Banstead, South Croydon or any areas near to these and would like to reserve a space for your business please email me firstname.lastname@example.org. Spaces are filling quickly.
Networking is not limited to stall holders. Everyone will be given a name tag on arrival with a chance to put their Name, business (if you have one) and social media handles…I find this a great ice breaker for anyone who would like to network slightly more casualy.
Each ticket offers a glass of prosecco on arrival and there will be food provided by local companies (buffet style).
For all you ladies who would like to come along for an evening of mingling, pampering and learning more about what your area has to offer, please grab your tickets while they are still available.
I hope this explains a little more about Modern Mums Modern Women Event. If you have any questions please feel free to send me a message
Please share this for all the wonderful women in your life xxx
Its been a while since I wrote a totally self centred blog post with no point to it at all. A post that is completly unhelpful, except to let me use it as a diary…so that when I look back one day will be able to remember that week in November 2017.
Lets start with George. This kid is growing into the most charismatic, gorgeous pain in the arse I have ever come across.
I dont call him a pain in the arse lightly. I am a mum of six, i feel like i have a patience level to rival a reception class teacher. But George is a whole new type of toddler.
He will scream to get what he wants, yet remember to thank you with total sincerity if you give in to him.
He will push and push and push me until I shout at him, and then will put his arm around me and ask if I am ok.
So, as a little xmas presie to myself…and George, I have booked him into nursery a couple of mornings a week.
I’m not going to lie, my intention was two FULL days. But the nursery teacher suggested it might be a little much to start with so we agreed on the morings… until January!
If I doubted whether I was doing the right thing, the wink, high five and about-turn we both participated in when I left him on his first morning, made me certain he needed it as much as me.
He has loved it! I have loved it! and it has given me a chance to spend more time with Arthur and appriciate my time with George more.
The nursery teachers loved him. He had played nicely with the other children, joined in with the activities and was so polite. They even told me he is a credit to me….a credit! It felt amazing when she said that.
Then he went home and ripped my £100 roll of Sanderson wallpaper off the wall!
Charlie has started a new school two weeks ago. I have been conscious of how i will cope with school run logistics when the twins start high school for a while. I started some tentitive research last month and was surprised when our school of choice happened to have a space availible for Charlie to start straight away and Libby in January.
The new school is everything charlies old school is not.
It is a small village school with a one class intake and strong christian values. So far, Charlie has settled in like a dream and it is as though he has always been there.
The twins turned eleven!!! I honestly can not believe how quickly time passes by.
Having children is like a constant reminder of this. No huge celebrations this year. I did offer them a big party as it will be their last year at primary school but they werent interested.
I actually think they are worried I might show them up on the dance floor….which I would. The problem is, I actually think I am the coolest mum ever and the kids are proud to show me off.
The reality is that they think I am a total embarrassment and actually mc-ing to DJ Luck and MC Neat is not quite the crowd pleaser it used to be!? Note: @indenialmum!
Instead Harri had some friends over for a sleepover (I still tried to play cool mum….I even let the watch ‘Swearing Peppa Pig’). Mikey is off to Kidzania in a couple of week to continue his quest to become the next Richard Branson.
My Christmas decorations are up, they have been for two weeks…standard. I am the biggest fool for Christmas that ever there was! My ultimate aim is to recreate National Lampoons decore extravagance with Home Alones class….you see the look I am going for?!
I turned to the dark side. It is amazing what looks you can create when you trust your hairdresser! When she suggested a dark balleage i wasn’t convinced…but i let her work her magic……..
I am so pleased with my new look. If you are local to London, check out Laura at Lalo….she is even a stylist to the Stars!
My Modern Mum Event went Live this week….there will be a blog about this over the weekend.
In short, I have organised a night out for local-ish ladies to come and meet local businesses ran by hard working women and hear what they have to offer. It is a chance to network, socialise and have a great night There will be chances to meet lots of beauty industry pros who will be ready to pamper us aswell.
Today I am suppose to be out beating on a shoot with the kids and hounds. After my nightmare night with Arthur and a whole two hours of sleep….I bailed!
Instead, I put an xmas movie on for the kids, put George and Arthur down for a nap and I have a Blissful Bath waiting for me.
I also made a kick-ass pate this week.
I have a freezer full of offal from our pigs, lambs and cow. We like liver and bacon, but not even a family my size can consume that much! This is the recipe I used. I used pig liver instead (by accident) but it was lush with a crusty bread, chutney and a Baileys.
How has your week been…..are you ready for a Merry December?
As always, if you have enjoyed my self regarding post, please share
Every year I say I will buy a few Turkeys to rear on the farm for Christmas dinner and every October I realise I have left it too late!
So then, every October /November I spend loads of time researching the best place to buy one.
Marks and Spencers? Sainsburys? The local butcher or farm shop?
Then I spend my monthly mortgage payment on a premium, amazing bird to feed my fifteen guests.
Now, here is the crazy bit….every year we all have the same conversation just after Christmas…
‘I am not a lover of Turkey’
‘It is a very dry meat’
‘It’s tradition though..’
‘I prefer chicken all day long’
In fact, the only thing that Turkey offers our house at Christmas, which we can not sacrifice is Turkey sandwiches in the evening (which a medium crown will suffice).
I have made an executive decision and will NOT be cooking a turkey for our Christmas dinner.
We have taken a few animals to slaughter over the last few weeks so we have a freezer full of beef, lamb and pork.
The cuts of meat we have would be worth a fortune if we had to buy them at a butchers.
So this year I am going to cook a Beef Wellington and a leg of lamb for our lunch.
This got me thinking about alternative Christmas Dinners and what other things families serve up for their grub.
I asked a few fellow bloggers and it seems quite a few people are not too fussed on our traditional Turkey.
Here are some suggestions for something different.
‘We go for Ham. There is no waste and we actually enjoy it. Noone in our family really likes turkey so always a bit of a waste!’
‘We don’t eat meat so last year I made salmon. I wasn’t too fussed about it and this year we’re just having everything but the meat!’
‘We are having the Lamb stack from Lidl, as none of us are too fond of Turkey. I will be making stuffed butternut squash for the vegetarian quest and getting a small Turkey crown for my Grandparents, as that would be dangerous grounds if I didn’t !’
‘We’re vegetarian and my Mum has always made a mushroom strudel and we’ve carried on the tradition! With all the usual trimmings of course.’
‘I find turkey quite bland so we usually have lamb or salmon.’
‘A lovely plump goose and all that tasty skin 😍😍 ‘
‘We are eating out at a restaurant this year so my parents have chosen to have a Chateaubriand. As they said by the time
Christmas comes your normally board of turkey ! ‘
‘We are vegetarian so we normally have a mushroom wellington or nut roast 😊’
‘My partner doesn’t enjoy Turkey so always has a lamb shank for his Christmas dinner. ‘
‘Nut roast – as I’m vegetarian Husband isn’t but it became now our family tradition at Christmas.’
‘My stepdad is Indian, one year we had a curry!’
‘Quorn family roast and spinach and feta tart is what my family had growing up! ‘
‘Hubby and kids will have chicken breasts (hubby’s choice), but I’m veggie so I’ll just have extra stuffing or a nut roast. We never cook a turkey here! ‘
‘If we was in charge of Christmas dinner I imagine I would cook chicken, I can’t stand turkey but everyone seems to enjoy a nice roast chicken! ‘
‘A lot of our family don’t like traditional roasts, so our tradition is to have a big Irish cooked breakfast on Xmas morning, then party food and snacky bits during the day as everyone pops in and out, then in the evening, a couple of different joints of meat in warm rolls – yum!’ www.passthewineplease.blog
‘We’re not really into turkey so we always have our fave roast dinner meat – a chicken! We also get a big ham or beef joint too. 😊’
‘We do normally have turkey but on a couple of occasions we have gone for a rib of beef instead. One of our guests this year hates turkey so I think I will cook a rib of beef again.’
‘We have a ham every year as hardly any of us like turkey. This year there are lots of us so there will be a goose too ‘
‘One year I did – IKEA meatballs, sticky chipolatas, fries, loganberry jam, sautéed red cabbage and Daim bar cake – all from the IKEA food shop for less than £20 – it was everyones favourite Christmas! 🙂 ‘
‘If I make a Christmas dinner it has to be apple-stuffed duck roast! I find turkey too bland and lean and if I’m going to go all-out, I might as well make it a cardiac arrest on a plate’
‘My husband hates turkey he thinks it’s too bland so we compromise with a 3 bird roast normally. We had goose one year and it was so fatty and a pain in the bum to cook we just stick to a 3 bird. I’m not telling him your having beef Wellington though that would be his preference!!’
‘For a few years, we did a Mexican Xmas Day. Sombreros, Mexican decorations, games and Mexican food/Drink obv. Easier to get food from the supermarket in the rush and loads of fun! ‘
‘We have had steak, chips & peppercorn sauce for the past 5 years and love it! So chilled out and no peeling veg! ‘
‘I’m a vegetarian, so we don’t have turkey 😉 I make a savoury crumble instead, with loads of veg and cheesy crumble topping, and serve it with roast potatoes. Even my meat eating husband enjoys it!’
‘We always do something different. We are half south African and it sounds crazy but last year was brilliant, the lads went out to do the meat – a side of beef stuffed and rolled in foil on the fire (BBQ or braai as we’d call it) in the middle of a UK winter. They loved it and the kids too especially afterwards when we turned it in to bonfire. We added roasted vegetables and potatoes dauphinois to the meal which we’d done in the oven. All in all very little fuss and plenty of fun. ‘
‘We will be having chicken or lamb. I haven’t had a turkey Christmas dinner for about 20 years. I don’t really like turkey and I definitely don’t trust myself to cook it well. I know it would end up like the one in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’
‘One year we decided to have Christmas dinner out and I had roast pigeon! It was actually amazing and a welcomed change!’
‘We often have beef and I have a friend who lets everyone choose and so the kids pick fish fingers!’
‘We have a buffet with lots of elements from Spanish cuisine to reflect the Other Half’s heritage. ‘
‘Goose, pheasant, duck we’ve had them all as my family have never been huge turkey fans’
‘My cousin does turkey pasta because none of her family like a turkey roast. Sounds grim but she roasts the turkey, takes the meat off & turns it into a delicious pasta bake!’
‘We’re doing a joint of beef this year.i will miss the turkey sandwiches though!’😂
‘This year we are having a three bird game roast – partridge, pheasant and pigeon! You may think eating pigeon is a bit weird but it’s actually a really delicate meat with a lot of flavour.’
‘We tend to alternate, one year might be a rib of beef and a ham, other it will be a turkey. I’m not a huge fan of turkey so it’s a nice change for me. Important as I tend to be the cook!’
Rosie and I took the kids (all eight of them!) to Leeds Castle in Kent during half term.
It was our first proper visit (we went along one, cold evening four years ago to watch Frozen on the castle lawn).
I absolutely love a mooch around a Castle or historical house and I love taking in the beautiful grounds.
I always picture what It might have been like to live there during the various periods of history.
Who owns it now? How do they keep it looking so beautiful? How many bottles of wine could you store in that wine celler!? (And Leeds Castle definatly has the BEST wine celler!)
It was a stunning Autumn afternoon and we had such a fantastic day that words can not do it justice.
I am going to let our photos explain……
Leeds Castle has lots to do for the children, not least climbing trees and finding secret dens.
It was Halloween when we visited and they had lots of spooky activities to enjoy.
There is a wonderful playground area, maze and lots of activities from archery to dressing up as a knight.
The children loved exploring the castle and filling in all the activity sheets they had been given.
They have been learning about British History at school so they loved reading about how Leeds Castle related to Henry V111 and the Second World War.
While they were reading about how King Henry VIII did a ‘changing rooms’ on the castle to impress and gift his wife Catherine of Aragon, I listened eagerly to the stewards who explained to me that in more recent years part of the castle was converted into a cinema and areas to entertain friends (jelous much!?).
I have asked Mike to take me back for a romantic ‘date day’. The strolls, the atmosphere and the stunning architecture would make a beautuful day out with a loved one (or first date?).
I have never seen such beautiful gardens and the wildlife is everywhere.
I am looking forward to visiting again in December and enjoying the Christmas festivities with Mike and the children.
Please share my post for anyone who might enjoy a beautiful day out at this Kent treasure.
For more information on Leeds Castle and its wonderful, seasonal treats, take a look at their website
If you live in the South East and have not heard of Tulleys Farm and their Shocktoberfest you must be living under a rock.
I last went three years ago and have heard through the grapevine it has only got better.
I could not wait to take the kids this half term.
As usual, nothing in our house goes to plan and after getting the household ready, I ran into a small problem on departure….a flat tyre.
But, living on a farm has its perks and we usually have a back up vehicle of some description.
On this occasion it was our trusty Landrover Defender that came to our rescue.
So, an hour later than planned, we were on our way.
Tulleys Farm is a seasonal family event venue in Sussex, between London and Brighton, close to Crawley and East Grinstead. So much is put into each event that it never fails to excite throughout each season.
Drawing inspiration from the huge halloween industry in America, the Pick Your Own Farm began developing Tulleys Halloween events in around 2002. It has since grown from visitors of 3,500 to the mega 60,000 it is welcoming now, over the Halloween period .
As a result of its phenomenal success, they have attracted some of the best Scare Experts in the business.
By day they run a fantastic family spooky experience and by night it becomes a terrifying fright fest that, quite franky, my bladder can no longer handle!
Last time I visited at night I spent most of the evening with my face burried in Mikes back!
For a fiesty lad #georgethemenace (my two year old) is scared of everything… Spiders, clowns, masks, people dressed up and anything small that moves.
As much as I enjoy the cuddles his terror brings, I knew this year it was best to leave him behind.
Also, as much as Tulleys has catered well for buggies, as us parents know, mud and prams make hard work.
Luckily my mum and dad were around and agreed to watch the two smaller boys for me.
Tulleys Farm is made up of a few different rides/experiences.
My kids favourite everytime we visit is the Horrid Hayride.
This is a tractor ride through a creepy woods where the aim of the game is to make the kids scream (and laugh).
I’m going to be careful not to give to much away because the element of suprise and unknown is half the fun.
I will say, unlike the evening experience, the actors are much tamer during the day so that it doesnt traumatise the children……too much 😜
During the day we visited all the main attractions.
We visitied Dirty Gerty and The Witches in The Woods.
We tried to find all the ghosts in the Cornmaze. Which, FYI, is a perfect opportunity to loose the kids for half an hour.
The Twisted Fun House, which even tripped me out slightly when I realised six little faces were relying on me to escape.
The more I tried to find the exit, the more we were faced with psychedelic clowns!
The Creepy Cottage was the ride that my older children found the scariest. Negotiating your way around a derelict cottage scattered with terrifying props
Inbetween all the rides are food stalls serving donuts, jacket potatoes, burgers, chicken, hogroasts and coffee….plenty of coffee everywhere!
The Pumkin Patch is really something to behold and you can buy them aswell as other great Halloween merchandise at the Farm Store.
As you walk around Tulleys there is plenty more entertainment scattered around.
Spooky theatre, street theatre, puppet shows and a pertrifying play area, there is so much to do we nearly ran out of time!
There really is nothing like this around. It is such a brilliant concept and the planning that goes into it and the volume of visitors speaks for itself.
There are a few days left…….take a visit.
Tulleys Farm is a seasonal attraction and I am definatly visiting at Christmas.
Tulleys Farm have also introduced an attraction called Escape Rooms. I’ve been checking it out online and it seems a team of you are locked in a room and the only way to escape is by solving a series of puzzles. I can’t wait to give that a go
I would love to hear your opinions if you have visited.
For more information on prices and opening times, take a look at
Tulleys Farm gave me entrance tickets in return for this review. However, all my opinions are entirely honest and without influence.
Baby led weaning…..lets talk about this for a moment.
This is a new concept for me. All my children were fed straight from a bowl, to their mouths, on a spoon (or sometimes direct from a pouch) by me.
When Charlie was younger he choked on everything. Sometimes he brought it up himself, sometimes he needed a firm pat on the backand, and on one occasion our good friends, (who happen to be a doctor and nurse) had to hang him upside down to help bring up the offending food.
That period of parenting left me mentally scared.
After that, Mike and I chopped up his food into the tiniest pieces until he was about seven!!!
I had to logically tell myself that if he copes ok at school then I should leave him to get on with it himself at home, but even then I struggled.
I carried this paranoia with me during Libby and Georges early years.
Even now my heart stops when i see a toddler eating a banana, sausage or a whole grape.
And now it is time to wean Arthur and I dont know what to do.
Arthur is quite independent and likes to grab the food/spoon himself which can make feeding him a little frustrsting.
Lets be honest, with an independent baby, a toddler and four older children, BLW is probably the more convenient and obvious option.
I can’t tell you I agree or am doing it to avoid having fussy children or children prone to allergies.
All of my five who were weaned ‘traditionally’ are far from fussy. They eat anything from roast diner (even the brussels) to jamaican hot curries to oysters, cockles, olives and even liver!
Food is a big part of our family. We socialise around food, We enjoy eating out, cooking and trying lots of different cuisines and I think that has had a bigger impact on their food choices than how they were weaned (but i am open to suggestion).
We have a rule in our house…..you can not say you do not like something or do not want something unless you try it first.
Back to BLW, From what I understand, you put a selection of food in front of them and let them feed themselves.
I love the concept and it fits in with our family values of encouraging independence and choices.
The Problem is my anxiety levels go through the roof at just the thought of it.
So recently I compromised and I did let Arthur feed himself…..baby rice and pureed food.
I popped Arthur in his highchair and let him loose with the rice and a spoon.
Well, i put the spoon in his hand but that was swiftly given to the dog who was waiting patiently by his highchair, then he dived in hands first.
The food was in his hair, over the highchair and even inbetween the plastic strap clickers (you know what I mean if you have ever had to clear the aftermath up!)
After a mammoth cleaning session and a bath in the kitchen sink I decided to re think my strategy.
I am going to try a mummy led dinner again tonight and see how that goes.
But I would really like to try more BLW.
Does anyone have any tips on what foods are good for babies to eat on their own wihout risking heart failure (mine that is).
I feel like after having six babies you are expected to have all the answers, but things change so much and each baby is so different.
I’ll update you with our progress over the next week.
Wish me luck!
Today is World Mental Health Day and, although it feels there is a ‘day’ for just about everything now and Twitter is always trending with one or another, I think this is a really important one to talk about.
We are all aware we are suppose to be taking care of our bodies. We take time to go to the dentist, opticians, chiropodist, yet if we are stressed, feeling down or unable to cope we just soldier on.
I am researching children and teen mental health and well being for a post I am writing with The Childrens Society.
I had never realised how many people suffer with mental health problems.
I started to think about friends, family and people I know who have or could be suffering from mental health issues.
I thought back to a school friend who battled with his sexuality and felt so down that he tried to take his own life.
I thought of a friend whos dad was so depressed he felt he had no way out, leaving my friend fatherless.
I thought of a good friend of mine who suffered badly with PTS as a result of his time served in The Falklands.
I thought of my nan and how I watched her deteriorate from Alzheimer’s.
I thought of bloggers I know who suffer with such bad anxiety that they find it a near impossible to leave their house.
It was while thinking about different forms of mental health, from post traumatic stress to post natel depression, dementia to bi-polar to stress, depression and anxiety, that I realised I was overlooking my own experiences with mental health problems, albeit not as serious or obvious as some.
I think it would suprise alot of people to know I suffer with anxiety.
I know what you are thinking…. Thats no suprise with sic children. But it started way before the kids came along.
It first started at Primary school.
I started suffering with terrible shortness of breath.
I always found it really hard to explain to my mum and dad, but it was like I was breathing in, but no air was getting into my lungs.
Once it started, it felt like it would get worse and worse. It could last anywhere from a few minutes to days.
I would have to sit outside the headmasters office with a brown paper bag and practice slow, deep breathing into it.
Mum took me to the doctor and I was tested for asthma but all the tests came back normal.
I never really talked about it again for years, I would just try to get through it by trying to take my mind off it. Sometimes that worked and sometimes I would end up in a panic and crying.
Then, towards the end of primary school I developed a twitch.
My nose would screw quickly like Samantha from bewitched…..only I wasnt casting a spell!
We put it down to my fringe being too long and tickling my nose, so I grew it out.
But the twitch didnt go, so we put it down to habbit as a result of the twitch from my fringe. It sounds crazy now but It never occured to me that it could be anything more.
So, here I was, going through my teens, suffering with shortness of breath and a nervous twitch (as we called it)…. I was a right sort 😉
The shortness of breath was never constant. I could go months without suffering from it, then, out of the blue it would hit me.
I would go into a panic and have practice my ‘mind over matter’ technique.
Things finally got to a point in 2009 when I went back to the doctors, desperate for help.
I was staying in France with the Mikey, Harri and Charlie (who was about 10 months).
Mike had gone to portugal with some friends and was going to fly from Faro to France to meet up with us.
The whole time I was in France on my own my shortness of breath was unbearable. I couldnt concentrate on anything and I felt like I was in a constant state of panic.
As a young mum (25) all sorts of things went through my head.
Maybe I have lung cancer…..
What if its my heart…..
Once Mike arrived at the cottage to spend the rest of the holiday together the shortness of breath dissapeared and I felt ‘normal’ again.
He would wind me up (and still does) that I just cant bare to be apart from him – trust me, thats not true!
With the fear it might return as badly as it had in France I booked an appointment with my Doctor.
I sat and explained everything to him. I told him all about the asthma tests when I was a kid to the horrible feelings in France.
He said with no uncertainty
‘You are suffering with stress and anxiety’
I laughed it off and explained to him that I was not stressed! In fact, I was completely laid back and never got stressed, thats what I was known for! Laid back, easy going Kate- always smiling and never stressed.
Apparently I was the perfect candidate for anxiety. He told me that because I am never outwardly stressed, my body deals with it in different ways.
In my case, through shortness of breath, my rabbit-like twitch and small panic attacks.
I left his office feeling relieved but also confused.
I was relieved that i wasnt dying! But confused as to how I didn’t know myself that I had been suffering with anxiety all these years.
As time has gone on it has become more obvious to me.
I can almost predict when the episode will start.
Flights and holidays…..a month or so before I will start feeling jittery.
My breathing gets deeper as my shortness of breath kicks in and Mike and friends will comment on my twitch getting worse.
My close friends will even ask me whats on my mind as they will know from my twitch how high my anxiety is.
Sometimes my twitch gets so bad it gives me a headache as my whole face contorts.
Big events, weddings, parties and nights out will start me off.
My dad was very poorly a couple of years ago and that sent my anxiety to a whole new level.
The last two months have been a challange aswell. Mike has been working away and we have been trying to choose a high school for the boys.
In fact, writing this has made me very aware at how anxious I am feeling right now.
There is no cure or immidiate fix that I know of and I count my blessings that my anxiety is not as debilitating as some people.
I have learned how to cope in my own way. I still practice mind over matter, a little like meditation and sometimes i will try to busy myself with something else.
If it is really bad I will run a bath with a few drops of lavender and ylang-ylang oil and soak for a while…. that usually calms me down a bit.
Sometimes nothing works and I just have to ride it out.
So, mental health can come in all sorts of forms and you never know who might be suffering. That is why tolerance and understanding is a great quality to practice.
Mental health problems are certainly not something we can control or just ‘get over’.
Everyone who knows me will probably be suprised that I suffer with this, It is not something I tend to talk openly about, maybe I should.
I certainly do not feel crazy or ill, but I have learned to try and listen to my body and when it tells me to chill out I try to do just that.
And luckily Mike has always found my twitch cute thank god!
Thanks for reading guys…..that was as good as a therapy session!
I would love to hear your experiences with mental health and anything you can suggest to keep anxiety at bay.
Please share awareness for World Mental Health Day
Barack Obama tweeted recently
‘No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion……’
I am starting to wonder if, as well as pure ignorance, has political correctness contributed to Racism.
Obama is right, so at what age do you start noticing and worrying about racism?
My ten and eight year old sons were sitting in the back of the car with a friend of theirs who is mixed race.
Amongst the shouting and laughing coming from the back seat, I heard one of my sons say
‘you’re so black…..you….’
He couldn’t finish because I hit my brakes, pulled over and totally lost my head. I started going into a rant about how I hadn’t brought him up to say things like that.
Before I could finish his friend stopped me.
‘Kate, we were just roasting each other! I just said to Harri, you’re so white, you must be invisible when its snows’
I laughed! and I was so relieved.
But It made me sit back and think,
Am I creating issues about colour that the kids don’t even see.
My kids aren’t racist, not even slightly, so why did I go so mad when I heard him say that?
Because, to make reference someone’s skin colour in a negative way is racist. But, Is it only racist if that person takes offence?
As their mum, it’s my job to make sure they are brought knowing what is right and wrong.
I remember when Charlie was at nursery, he had the most wonderful teacher, Mrs Patel. One day she pulled me to one side to say that another teacher had asked Charlie what he wanted to do. He asked if the ‘chocolate’ lady could read him another story.
I WAS MORTIFIED. I couldn’t apologise enough.
Mrs Patel hadn’t told me out of disappointment. She thought it was the most wonderful thing she had ever heard! This little three year old was just describing her as best he could and she was nothing but flattered that he enjoyed her reading to him.
The Political Correctness that has been bashed into me over the years had almost convinced me that my little boy was showing racist traits at three years old!
Right now, my kids see past skin colour, and I’m not going to change that
What are your thoughts? X
I thought I would write a quick post as I sit here at 5.30am on Saturday!
I’m hugging my coffee and feeling totally exhasted.
The kids have been back one week and it has already started!
The sickness bug has hit our house!
Luckily its not the sort of bug that knocks you off your feet for 24 hours. It seems to just bring on uncobtrolable vomiting and once you have been sick, it moves onto its next victim.
My washing machine has been on constantly since Thursday and ive been through a bottle of carpet cleaner.
My expensive candles that I only bought a week ago are nearly finished and my house still smells like a sewer.
Libby wins the award for minimal inconvenience as she managed to keep her pukey mess to one small pile.
Mikey managed to puke in my car, despite having pulled over and his door being thrown open!
Cleaning capets and washing bedsheets is one thing…..cleaning chunks from the door pockets of a car is a different ball game.
George started crying in the middle of the night (not unusual). So I left him for five minutes before I checked on him incase he fell back to sleep.
How bad did i feel when I went into his room and and he was covered, head to toe in vomit.
At 1am I was bathing a stinky baby and stripping his bed.
Harrison has a fear of being sick and has slight OCD.
He has basically locked himself in a room and banned anyone from going near him. That still didnt save him though and he puked on mikeys bed (who was in with me) at 3am.
Baby Arthur may or may not have had it. I spend most of my days covered in his sick and changing his nappies, so it seems he is in a constant tummy bug state.
So that just leaves Charlie……..
Oh…and did I mention, as payback for heading to bed a bit earlier than usual, my dog left me a wonderfully smelly package on my hallway floor.
FYI Vanish Gold is my best friend during times like this. It gets every stain and smell out of the carpet!
Hope your weekend is kicking off better than mine!