Morning can kiss my ar*e
Words can not describe how much I hate my day pre 9am! It usually starts well, looking over at my gorgeous little boy who always beams a huge smile at me….probably because he knows what’s coming next! As I turn back over to doze off for another 10 minutes, it starts!! George has learnt that screech …you know the one. The one that makes you jump up and do whatever it takes to stop the noise! Poor sod usually has every right to screech because I usually find he has the dirtiest, wettest nappy, always a lovely start to the day . I clean George up and get him dressed. If I’m having a good morning, he will sit in his cot playing, otherwise the rest of my morning has a constant groan in the background. I shout at Libby to wake up. Next are the twins. They are old enough to get themselves ready…..or so you would think. There is ALAWYS something they can’t find. Socks, pants, a jumper, trousers, a school shirt. For the fifteen minutes we can’t find the missing item of clothes, I am dirt! For that fifteen minutes I am ‘ the worst mum in the world ‘ ‘ruining their lives ‘ ‘its always my fault if we are late for school ‘ We usually find the missing item in the exact place I initially told them to look, which apparently they did and it wasn’t there! ..whatever! I shout at Libby to wake up again. In the meantime Charlie doesn’t usually have this problem as he keeps the same clothes next to his bed and will wear those same clothes every day….. Forever, if he could! So I then spend another fifteen minutes convincing Charlie that it really IS that important to wear clean clothes everyday…. Even though part of me is tempted to just let him win to save the washing! All this builds up to what I know will be the hardest part of my morning…..Libby. She is still asleep and when I try to wake her up it is like Russian roulette. On a good day She will open her eyes and give me a big smile. On a bad day she opens her eyes and spits at me how I have already made this the worst day of her whole entire life! I pick my approach on how to deal with the hair brushing. Sometimes I bribe her, sometimes I trick her, sometimes I shout at her. It is usually a reflection on whether George is having a good morning or bad and how late we are! The kids go downstairs to have their breakfast. This usually gives me ten minutes to get ready. I go downstairs, make George’s bottles up, pack his day bag and get him ready in his car seat. I’m now ready to leave. I call everyone to get in the car and then they come into the hallway and look at me like I’ve totally lost the plot. ‘we haven’t even had breakfast yet! ‘ Oh my God!!!!!!! Wtf!!!!!!!!!! Turns out they have been to busy watching The fu#King Thundermans!!!!!! Now we are late. After they have eaten they finally get in the car…. I’m out the driveway!…… Or am I? One of them is guaranteed to have forgotten something…. Homework, a coat, football kit… Back home we go and by now they know not to even talk to me! We have actually still been making it to school on time…. Just…. because I have found a shortcut. Problem is, once the hotel owner realises I cut across his estate every morning, ignoring every one way sign through the car park, it will be back to the ‘late’ route! I must stress, this isn’t every day, only three or four out of five And everyone wonders why my first stop after the school run is for a coffee! The day can only get better!