So this weekend something happened that will change my sex life for the next 20 years.
After telling the kids to ‘shhhhhhh’ for the 58th time in the six berth camper we had hired for the weekend, finally silence fell.
…..until Harrison asked loudly, in a disgusted tone:
‘urgh, are you two having S….E……X!? Because of you are having S…..E……X. You need to stop. It’s just gross, with your kids here, close those curtains, this is grossing me out!’
What the fu#k!? Firstly we actually were not having sex, any grunting noises had come as a result of me clambering up the shit#ing ladder to get into the coffin style bed above the drivers seats.
Secondly, the space from our bed to the ceiling was about half a foot, i could barely turn over let alone anything else!!
Thirdly…..I was too tired 😜
So the next morning I questioned harri on what is S….E…..X?
‘its when a man and lady are naked in bed, kissing and making noises’
Day three he wake up and he asks:
‘ who was rocking the caravan last night?’
I had to think on my feet.
‘oh, i thought you were asleep (true!) there were some naughty boys outside pushing our caravan. Did you hear dad go out and shout at them?’
‘no, but thank God for that, I thought it was you two having S….E….X. i hope those boys don’t come back tonight! ‘
No fear of that son…they have well and truley got the message😒
So we are now looking for locks to put on our bedroom door and I’m trying to work out how to approach the proper birds and bee’s talk with them …..wish me luck!